Author Topic: Delusional power freak at work  (Read 16601 times)

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Softly Spoken

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Re: Delusional power freak at work
« Reply #30 on: June 25, 2013, 10:33:16 AM »
PODding everyone else and wondering how it went with Mr. Wannabe...
"... for there is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so."
-William Shakespeare

"We find comfort among those who agree with us - growth among those who don't."  ~Frank A. Clark

veronaz

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Re: Delusional power freak at work
« Reply #31 on: June 25, 2013, 10:46:11 AM »
I would also make sure to use the phrase, "he called me into your office to question me"  - that in and of itself shows me the attitude this guy is taking.  What right does he have to call any of his coworkers into the office, especially the boss' office to be questioned or reprimanded?

This.

Just because he calls you into an office doesn't mean you have to go.

Just because he asks you questions doesn't mean you have to answer.

I think you need to stop feeding into his little power game. Try just staring at him for an extended moment, then go back to what you're doing or walk away.

Another option is to not even look away from your task, just say "I'm busy here.  If you need something, send me an email and I'll get to it when I have time."

This has two advantages:
1) You can respond when it is convenient for you, and
2) There's a paper trail, which in itself creates two advantages:
    a) He's smart enough to not leave a paper trail, so he never actually bothers emailing you, or
    b) He's delusional enough to think what he's doing is okay, which means you can forward the paper trail to Boss.

ETA: Even better would be to be very blunt with him.  "You are not my boss.  You are not my manager.  I do not report to you.  I am too busy to deal with your ridiculous attempts to micromanage me."

After saying that to him once, respond to any unreasonable requests or demands with a very short "No." (nothing more than that one syllable, ever.)

(bolded)

I dunno, this gets into confrontation territory, imo.  (Getting a bit riled up, calling him ridiculous……...he'll say something then the exchange escalates, probably in front of others........) It might come to that anyway, but I think just staring or even continuing to do whatever task OP is working on is the route to take.  The message is "You don't merit a reply or one second of my time.  Go away."
« Last Edit: June 25, 2013, 10:47:59 AM by veronaz »

TootsNYC

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Re: Delusional power freak at work
« Reply #32 on: June 25, 2013, 10:50:47 AM »
Situations like this remind me of a Kipling poem:
Quote
“Pleasant it is for the Little Tin Gods
When great Jove nods;
But Little Tin Gods make their little mistakes
In missing the hour when great Jove wakes.”

You know, that's actually a point.

He says, "I hate when Boss is away and people think they can do what they want."

Oh? Like, now Boss is away, and HE can act like he's in charge? You might mention that.

Well, no, because that just creates drama, and you want him to just go away and let you do your job, the way Boss trusts you to. (That, you might say: "Please go away and let me do my job, the way Boss trusts me to. If Boss thought I couldn't be trusted, he wouldn't have gone off and left me in charge of my workload.")

veronaz

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Re: Delusional power freak at work
« Reply #33 on: June 25, 2013, 11:01:27 AM »
Question for OP: 
Why are you even answering PF when he questions you about whether you clocked out, etc.?  ???  The discussion about "minutes" appears silly.  Unless I missed something, PF has no authority over you.  It appears PF continues to bug you because you continue to engage him by answering and explaining yourself and going into boss's office when PF summons you.  Maybe he's not delusional - it appears he DOES have power over you.  What's up with that?
« Last Edit: June 25, 2013, 11:03:55 AM by veronaz »

TootsNYC

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Re: Delusional power freak at work
« Reply #34 on: June 25, 2013, 11:49:16 AM »
I think it's a completely human and understandable reaction to answer a question that's put to us. So if he asks, the instinctive reaction would be to answer.

Also, when we feel accused, it's natural to defend ourselves. And his very question is a form of accusation, so it's completely instinctive for the OP to list how many minutes, etc.

That's why she came to discuss this among us. To find counter-intuitive and more powerful ways to deal with it.

veronaz

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Re: Delusional power freak at work
« Reply #35 on: June 25, 2013, 01:59:17 PM »
CraftyMom,
I'd like to hear it in your own words.........is this person intimidating? chummy with the boss, ......?  Just what is it that makes you explain yourself to him and do as he tells you?  Or have I missed something?

(I understand that you started the thread to get feedback and help.  That's what we're here for.....for you to sort thru and decide what works for you.  But I'm a bit baffled as to how this person is successful at steamrolling over people.)
« Last Edit: June 25, 2013, 03:15:42 PM by veronaz »

TootsNYC

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Re: Delusional power freak at work
« Reply #36 on: June 25, 2013, 03:03:41 PM »
OP--when you talk to Boss, point out this:

Quote
The only time that got wasted, was in answering PF's repeated questioning.


AnnaT

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Re: Delusional power freak at work
« Reply #37 on: June 26, 2013, 12:49:35 AM »
Posting hoping for an update?

Craftymom

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Re: Delusional power freak at work
« Reply #38 on: June 27, 2013, 10:15:20 PM »
Talked to boss today, finally.
Apparently, our co. policy is such that I was mistaken by taking the 2nd break and leaving early, but boss didn't feel that it was even a big enough issue to bring up to me. Since usually I am there for the full day, this wouldn't be something that would be a recurring thing.
Apparently, PF keeps an eye on things if boss is gone. Would have been nice to let me know.
I then asked then why didn't PF mention my break mistake, instead of hyperfocusing on the exact minutes gone? (It would have been no big deal to clock out for the appropriate minutes while continuing to work, if I had known.)
Boss agreed that PF should not have been crawling all over me like he did. He wanted to bring him in for us all to clear the air-not a chance in ehell. PF IS intimidating, and I was not up to him basically bowling over me with the boss right there.
Boss offered to speak to PF again, but I told him that I did not want him to, I just wanted him to be aware of the situation.
I told him that I am very wary of PF, and have been avoiding speaking to him at all unless absolutely necessary and just guessed that whenever boss has to be gone, the default setting would be PF displaying his assertive side.
I guess things went better than I thought it would.

Pen^2

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Re: Delusional power freak at work
« Reply #39 on: June 27, 2013, 10:53:57 PM »
Talked to boss today, finally.
Apparently, our co. policy is such that I was mistaken by taking the 2nd break and leaving early, but boss didn't feel that it was even a big enough issue to bring up to me. Since usually I am there for the full day, this wouldn't be something that would be a recurring thing.
Apparently, PF keeps an eye on things if boss is gone. Would have been nice to let me know.
I then asked then why didn't PF mention my break mistake, instead of hyperfocusing on the exact minutes gone? (It would have been no big deal to clock out for the appropriate minutes while continuing to work, if I had known.)
Boss agreed that PF should not have been crawling all over me like he did. He wanted to bring him in for us all to clear the air-not a chance in ehell. PF IS intimidating, and I was not up to him basically bowling over me with the boss right there.
Boss offered to speak to PF again, but I told him that I did not want him to, I just wanted him to be aware of the situation.
I told him that I am very wary of PF, and have been avoiding speaking to him at all unless absolutely necessary and just guessed that whenever boss has to be gone, the default setting would be PF displaying his assertive side.
I guess things went better than I thought it would.

I... suppose it could have gone worse?

The boss sounds partially to blame here. Having someone "keep an eye on things" outside PF's contract is just asking for trouble and misinterpretation. You know, like changing "keep an eye on things" to "interrogate workers at will". I always thought eyes and mouths were separate organs, but that's just me. If possible, can/did you find out what exactly PF is entitled to do? If it's just watching and reporting to boss, then PF can't use the boss's instructions to him as an excuse for his confrontations.

And good for you for not "clearing the air" when there wasn't anything to clear. Having everyone have a big lovely chat with a bully is not going to fix everything, and is silly to suggest.

Next time this happens (since it probably will--boss doesn't seem too eager to bother fixing the problem s/he created), I would explain to boss that the whole "PF keeps an eye on things" system is not working and needs to change stat. Boss seems quite lukewarm about the whole thing, which is troubling. Make sure you have something ready to use for the next time PF tries to pull this on you. The suggestions made in this thread are great if you don't have any ideas of your own.

*inviteseller

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Re: Delusional power freak at work
« Reply #40 on: June 27, 2013, 11:13:52 PM »
He knows you are intimidated by him, so he will keep it up.  He is like a dog and can smell fear.  Keeping an eye on things is not the same as unnecessarily bother a co worker.  He has no authority and boss is making a mistake in allowing this to go on.  I would take the chance to confront him in front of boss and tell him you do not appreciate his tactics and his interruptions.  If it doesn't stop, go up the chain of command. 

veronaz

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Re: Delusional power freak at work
« Reply #41 on: June 27, 2013, 11:24:23 PM »
Quote
Keeping an eye on things

In this case that means strutting around watching everyone and reporting back to boss.  PF is most likely getting perks and will continue to be rewarded.  As I said before, PF is not delusional at all.  He is the boss's spy and boss wants to keep it that way - cloak and dagger.  What a toxic atmosphere.
« Last Edit: June 28, 2013, 07:29:40 AM by veronaz »

Shoo

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Re: Delusional power freak at work
« Reply #42 on: June 27, 2013, 11:43:03 PM »
Sounds like a horrible place to work.  Blame goes squarely on the boss here.

NyaChan

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Re: Delusional power freak at work
« Reply #43 on: June 28, 2013, 12:31:03 AM »
Yeah, giving a chum a generalized power with no guidelines over coworkers is just bad form - especially bad because the relationship between them will embolden the guy, but would've been risky anyways.

KB

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Re: Delusional power freak at work
« Reply #44 on: June 28, 2013, 07:31:32 AM »
Time to polish up that CV!