General Etiquette > Family and Children

Is this too harsh? A family of girls...

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So, we now have four little girls, and we already get the comments.  If we end up having a fifth, they'll only increase.  "wow, all girls!  Gonna keep trying until you get that boy?"  "I'll bet your husband is hoping for a boy next time?" If we have another and it's a girl, we'll be asked if we (especially my husband) were hoping for a boy, if we were disappointed, if we'll keep trying.  If it's a boy we'll get asked if we'll stop now that we have our boy, etc.

I asked about this once in a specific case of somebody who was asking repeatedly and got some good advice, but I have no idea how to find that thread.  What I'm wondering, though, is about dealing with new, friendly one-timers.  In other words, people who have just met us for the first time and ask once, not repeatedly.  We've just moved to a new area and we're getting this many times every day, in front of the kids.  It's so bad my husband says if we have a fifth and it's a boy we need to have another one afterwards to prove we weren't just stopping at a boy.

Would it be too harsh to say, "we're really happy with our wonderful little girls and would never want them to think that they aren't enough and we need a boy, too?". I think something like this was suggested in that other thread but the context of a repeated pusher versus a one-time asker might make a difference.  I don't want to alienate people, but i wouldn't mind making them think about how their questions might appear to the kids.  I can reassure our kids all I want, and I do, but, seriously, several different groups of people this morning and on and on they went with it--it's gotta make it hard for them to keep our reassurances in mind.

Oh, and for the record, it's not a sexism thing, just a "oh, wow, your entire family of many little children is all made up of the same sex!" thing.

(Edited:  Sorry for all the typos, getting used to typing on an ipad.)

If my paternal grandmother were still with us, I don't doubt she'd have some kind of response for this that eHell would not approve of (she wasn't known for her brain-to-mouth filter), but I don't doubt she got these comments as well.  She had 7 children, 6 were boys, and the youngest was NOT a girl.(1,2,3,4,5 and 7 were boys)

I might respond to those comments with things like, "We're not worried about that, we're just happy they are healthy" or any kind of statement that is polite but makes it clear you're not inviting further discussion on the matter.

You can prefer while still be accepting of what happens. DH and I are TTC, and while we do like the idea of having a girl, we will accept whatever we get.

It's not as if you can choose!

"Why mess with a working formula?"

"So long as the baby is healthy, we could care less what we get."


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