Author Topic: Is this too harsh? A family of girls...  (Read 17430 times)

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Coruscation

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Re: Is this too harsh? A family of girls...
« Reply #75 on: July 01, 2013, 01:14:16 AM »
Whoops, fixed it.

lowspark

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Re: Is this too harsh? A family of girls...
« Reply #76 on: July 01, 2013, 09:09:16 AM »
(snipped for brevity)

I'll admit that I'm sort of assuming that if we have a fifth, it'll be a girl.  While theoretically it's about 50/50, you definitely can have a tendency towards one sex or the other.  Maybe I've just read Pride and Prejudice too much!

This is pretty off-topic but something I learned in college which I think is pretty interesting. The chances are actually more like 51/49 in favor of having a boy. In other words, slightly more boys than girls are born. At least at the time I took the class (years ago!) they really didn't know why.

However, as the babies grow older, gradually, females outnumber males. Apparently there are lots of forces at work which cause more males to die than females. Childhood diseases, war, and other things (which I've since forgotten). Again, this class was a long time ago so some of that my have evened out some. As childhood diseases are eliminated or at least greatly reduced, and since women are now involved in combat situations more and more, the numbers may even out, at least somewhat.

But traditionally it's been more boy babies and more old ladies.
(Now back to the regular discussion.)

Still OT but I'm not sure when you were in college but it's changed. These days its usually 49% boys and 51% girls born. More boys are convieved but they are more likely to suffer prenatal death so more girls are born. Mind you I suspect they stats vary from country to country.

Also for some reason if you have 2 children of the same gender you are more likely (I think it's 60%) to have the third child be the same gender. No idea why but it does make it harder to get your other gender child!

Here's an article that states it's (naturally) about 105 boys to 100 girls. Apparently the ratio goes up to 107 boys to 100 girls due to some artificial causes. This article also points out some of the things that causes more males to die than females.
http://www.livescience.com/33491-male-female-sex-ratio.html

And here's another one from Scientific American that mentions the 105-100 ratio.
http://www.scientificamerican.com/article.cfm?id=is-a-pregnant-womans-chan

So I think it's still more boys than girls.

Emmy

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Re: Is this too harsh? A family of girls...
« Reply #77 on: July 01, 2013, 09:17:35 AM »
I have a DD and am due to deliver another little girl in a matter of days.  I've heard comments that rub me the wrong way as well.  I think people project their own feelings onto me and assume I feel the same way.  Assuming the husband wants a boy is annoying.  Even with my first, I had somebody make a comment along those lines.  I also had somebody tell me that I need to have another baby to try for a boy (while I am still pregnant).  I tell them this isn't Burger King, I can't just place an order and expect it to turn up that way.  Besides we will not be having another child unless we want another baby (boy or girl).  I also had somebody say 'ohh, that's too bad it's not a boy" when I mentioned this one is a girl.  She has 3 boys, all grown, and had really wanted a girl.

I try to be lighthearted in my responses and tell them DH and I love girls and are thrilled to get another one.  Both him and I have never really felt the need for a boy and will be happy with a healthy baby.  Hope you find the right church.

JEsMom

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Re: Is this too harsh? A family of girls...
« Reply #78 on: July 02, 2013, 09:47:04 PM »
"You get what you get and you don't get upset!"

Perfect.

Not only that, but sometimes what you get is not what you end up with! I know a woman who started out with two girls and now has a young-adult daughter and a young-adult son. (He's transgender.)

#1 doggie mom

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Re: Is this too harsh? A family of girls...
« Reply #79 on: July 02, 2013, 11:17:35 PM »
There is a question you should ask yourself. Am I financially, physically, and emotionally ready for another kid or are you happy with the four wonderful little girls that you have already. I think that people are rude to ask you if you want a boy and if you had one would you just stop there. I would say to that person" I am very happy with what I have. Everyone has there own opinions but it is a fact that I love my girls and if we had another child I would still be happy even if it was a girl."


Hope I helped.

MommyPenguin

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Re: Is this too harsh? A family of girls...
« Reply #80 on: July 04, 2013, 04:34:01 PM »
Ironically, I actually would sort of hope that if we had another it would be a girl.  Having a boy now would definitely complicate things in terms of the room situation, plus he would probably want different clothes and toys... oy!  It's been so easy to add the last few into our household, all being girls.  Not that I wouldn't be pleased with a boy, it would just sort of be like, "Oh, wow, a boy!  Okay, uh, now how do we do this?"  You know?  :)  Of course, if we adopt/foster more someday, we'll probably want to be open to either sex, so I guess I should be prepared ahead of time!  :)

chicajojobe

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Re: Is this too harsh? A family of girls...
« Reply #81 on: July 05, 2013, 09:32:33 AM »

Would it be too harsh to say, "we're really happy with our wonderful little girls and would never want them to think that they aren't enough and we need a boy, too?"

Oh, and for the record, it's not a sexism thing, just a "oh, wow, your entire family of many little children is all made up of the same sex!" thing.

(Edited:  Sorry for all the typos, getting used to typing on an ipad.)

I'd say no that statement isn't too harsh, also are you SURE it's not a sexism thing? I'm not based on what you described.

Betelnut

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Re: Is this too harsh? A family of girls...
« Reply #82 on: July 05, 2013, 12:01:54 PM »
Just yesterday, at a 4th of July picnic, I met a woman whose daughter just had a fourth child in an attempt to also have a daughter.  Yep, you guessed it--a fourth son.

So those "evening out" kids don't always work out!
Native Texan, Marylander currently

Mommyoops

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Re: Is this too harsh? A family of girls...
« Reply #83 on: July 13, 2013, 04:19:08 PM »
I have an employee who had number 10 in the hopes of having that long wished for girl. If you guessed she had boy #10 you get a cookie. I have one girl and three boys. The number of folks who think the girl is the youngest is amazing (she is the oldest). When they ask if we were trying for a girl i say, "oh no....we were hoping for a puppy!" I swear it stops em cold :)

Elfmama

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Re: Is this too harsh? A family of girls...
« Reply #84 on: July 13, 2013, 06:21:46 PM »
I have two daughters and have zero plans to increase our family size.  I've been asked this question and I usually say something like, "Oh, no.  I've got two beautiful girls and I'm going to quit while I'm ahead." 

I'm the oldest of 3 girls and my parents were always being asked if they were going to go for a boy.  And worst of all, it was plain that my grandmother never really forgave my mother for not giving her a grandson to pass on the family name.  I don't want my girls to ever feel like that.
My MIL got on my case about that too.  And all I can think is "WHY?!?"  It wasn't MIL's family name, but FIL's.  It probably wasn't your grandmother's family name either (unless she and grandfather were cousins.)
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Elfmama

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Re: Is this too harsh? A family of girls...
« Reply #85 on: July 13, 2013, 06:29:43 PM »
Also for some reason if you have 2 children of the same gender you are more likely (I think it's 60%) to have the third child be the same gender. No idea why but it does make it harder to get your other gender child!
The woman's body either becomes or is naturally more friendly to one gender than the other.  IIRC, it has to do with your ladybits' Ph value.  More acidic and it favors X sperm, more alkaline and it favors Y sperm.  (Or maybe I have them reversed.)
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MasterofSquirrels

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Re: Is this too harsh? A family of girls...
« Reply #86 on: July 13, 2013, 09:36:13 PM »
I have the coveted perfect family. One boy (eldest) and girl.  I have been given permission by strangers to stop trying, as I have the perfect family.  ::) 

I did tell one lady that I gave the ugly ones away. I don't remember why I said that to her exactly. I do know, she wasn't' nearly as amused by my wit as I was.

As for your question OP, I don't know. Sometimes "Honestly! That's such a ridiculous thing to say!" is the only thing too say.

Lynn2000

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Re: Is this too harsh? A family of girls...
« Reply #87 on: July 15, 2013, 04:13:53 PM »
I have two daughters and have zero plans to increase our family size.  I've been asked this question and I usually say something like, "Oh, no.  I've got two beautiful girls and I'm going to quit while I'm ahead." 

I'm the oldest of 3 girls and my parents were always being asked if they were going to go for a boy.  And worst of all, it was plain that my grandmother never really forgave my mother for not giving her a grandson to pass on the family name.  I don't want my girls to ever feel like that.
My MIL got on my case about that too.  And all I can think is "WHY?!?"  It wasn't MIL's family name, but FIL's.  It probably wasn't your grandmother's family name either (unless she and grandfather were cousins.)

Marginally relevant: My friend Amy Smith married Adam Jones and did not change her name. Their first child, a boy, is Bucky Jones (dad's last name). Their second child, gender unknown, is currently on the way and the child will have the last name Smith (mom's last name). So she is a woman intent on passing on her surname (actually her father's surname) to her (second) child. Her MIL said, "Oh, are you hoping for a boy, so he can pass your last name on?"  :o

She's a woman... passing on her last name... to her child. So if she has a daughter, the daughter could potentially do the same thing she's doing, and pass the name on. Granted, it's kind of an unusual situation, but let's think through what you're saying a little... Not to mention the whole, "Are you hoping for X?" question, which has no good answer except a sidestep.
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TootsNYC

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Re: Is this too harsh? A family of girls...
« Reply #88 on: July 15, 2013, 06:56:37 PM »
I have an employee who had number 10 in the hopes of having that long wished for girl. If you guessed she had boy #10 you get a cookie. I have one girl and three boys. The number of folks who think the girl is the youngest is amazing (she is the oldest). When they ask if we were trying for a girl i say, "oh no....we were hoping for a puppy!" I swear it stops em cold :)

Reminds me of my smart-aleck 4yo nephew who said, quite smugly, when he was asked (for what must have been the umpteenth time) if he knew whether his soon-to-be sibling would be a boy or a girl, "They won't tell me. But I think it's going to be a giraffe."

CluelessBride

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Re: Is this too harsh? A family of girls...
« Reply #89 on: July 15, 2013, 08:48:05 PM »
Oh, trust me, we're trying hard to interest our girls in engineering.  :) 

Off topic, but have you seen GoldieBlox?  http://www.goldieblox.com/  I saw the kickstarter campaign when it was funding and it looks like a really cool concept. 

Incidentally, my parents got two girls both of whom defied gender stereotypes by going into engineering. And my dad coached my softball team when I was growing up. So gender doesn't have to have anything to do with passing on passions.