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  • March 06, 2015, 07:29:52 PM

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Author Topic: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat  (Read 223244 times)

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Mel the Redcap

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #2040 on: February 24, 2015, 02:29:27 AM »
Dear Holly:

I know you don't like having your claws trimmed, but you were sticking to the carpet. I think it was time.

Love,
The evil claw-clipper.

P.S.: stop sulking. I don't feel guilty at all.  >:D
"Set aphasia to stun!"

atirial

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #2041 on: February 26, 2015, 06:19:32 AM »
Dear Stephen,

Thanks for those precious moments in life.

Like seeing what looks like a disgusting hairball (or possibly worse) in the middle of the bed, only to realise as you streak past me and sink your teeth into it that it is your bedraggled and gutted catnip mouse...

You definitely need a new one.

Regards,
Mum.

greencat

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #2042 on: February 26, 2015, 05:59:08 PM »
Dear Xena,

Why are bellyrubs only an outside thing?  When you're inside, you usually don't want petting at all, only food, but outside you're constantly underfoot and demanding all my attention.  Are you afraid of going to the vet again?  You should be, you're due for shots in a month or so, but that shouldn't be as traumatic as getting spayed.

Love,
The human

Mel the Redcap

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #2043 on: March 02, 2015, 04:23:38 AM »
Dear Holly,

While you are slightly more varied in your communications than April (she who uses "MEEEEEeeeeeeeee!" for pretty well everything she wants to express that isn't covered by purring), I would appreciate it if you could put some extra effort into distinguishing your various utterances from each other. At the moment, you seem to use "nnnngmmmr?" for:

- "I'm hungry"
- "I'm thirsty"
- "I'm sad"
- "I'm bored"
- "I want pettins"
- "I want to play fetch with this crocheted thing that I totally did not steal out of your project bag"
- "I want attention and am about to break something in order to get it"
- "April dropped a stinker in my kitty litter and I want to use it so you need to clean it out now"

and, on one memorable occasion,

- "Hey, mum? I found a new toy and am now carrying it around in my mouth! It's a live venomous spider. I want to show it to you before I eat it. Please hold still while I drop it on your bare foot."

A little more attention to this matter will mean I can answer your needs more quickly and don't have to work my way through each option in turn. It will also reduce the number of incidents where I eventually resort to asking you "What is it you want, girl? Is Timmy down the well? Is that it?!" while you look at me like I'm an idiot.

On a related note, please assign a meaning to your latest new noise. You know, the one you start making when you're at the other end of the house and then continue making while you wander slowly in my general direction, resulting in a loud echoing "nnnGOW! nnnGOW! nnnGOW!" coming down the hallway like the march of doom. I respectfully suggest you assign it to an urgent meaning, as boy howdy is that an attention-getter in the middle of the night.

(Maybe use that one for the spiders.)


Love,
Furless Management.
« Last Edit: March 02, 2015, 04:25:15 AM by Mel the Redcap »
"Set aphasia to stun!"

Elfmama

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #2044 on: March 02, 2015, 10:01:21 AM »
In Kirk's vernacular (which, to be fair, might not be the same "word" in Aussie) nnnGOW meant "Where are you?"  After his dog-buddy Tasha was put to sleep, he wandered around the house looking for her and crying, "ArrOO? nnnGOW?"   :'(
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pattycake

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #2045 on: March 02, 2015, 03:21:27 PM »
Dearest Patty,

Phones ring. They have rung all your life. Yes, they are a bit startling, even to me sometimes. But then why, oh why, if they startle you so badly every single time, do you run INTO the room in which the phone rings? One day, this will get you stepped on as you also know that when it rings, I head into that same room as well.

Love,
the dispenser of the tuna water.

Ms_Cellany

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #2046 on: March 02, 2015, 04:27:03 PM »
Dear Luna and Jack,

Yes. We missed you too. The two-week vacation was great, but it's nice to be home.



Love,
The Lap.
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Snooks

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #2047 on: March 02, 2015, 04:42:58 PM »
Excellent team work in preventing you making the grave error of leaving them ever again.  No bathroom breaks for you and that chair is just fine to sleep in.

Miss Understood

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #2048 on: March 02, 2015, 05:50:18 PM »
In Kirk's vernacular (which, to be fair, might not be the same "word" in Aussie) nnnGOW meant "Where are you?"  After his dog-buddy Tasha was put to sleep, he wandered around the house looking for her and crying, "ArrOO? nnnGOW?"   :'(

That was my thought too!  Sometimes cats (at least the ones I have had) get confused after a deep sleep and think everyone abandoned them while they were out - then they are so happy when they find you again!

GreenHall

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #2049 on: March 02, 2015, 06:40:02 PM »
Hey, mum? I found a new toy and am now carrying it around in my mouth! It's a live venomous spider. I want to show it to you before I eat it. Please hold still while I drop it on your bare foot."


I guess I should be happy for the half grown squirrel I had this week.  Though I'm sure if venomous spiders were an option, they would be offered. 

My repeated NO!'s finally confused the cat into dropping the poor thing.  So then I'm trying to find something to pick it up with, and repeating under my breath,"please don't bite me and give me rabies..." 

On the other hand I've been better about remembering to lock the kitty door the last few days. (When your first instinct is to not only bring your new toy/prize inside to play, but to Mommys room, in the curtains,   Yah your kitty door privelages get revoked. Helps that we are having good weath so I can't be guilted into feeling like I should let you have it....

ladyknight1

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #2050 on: March 02, 2015, 06:54:30 PM »
Dear Mocha,

Thank you for helping your humans to recover from the loss of Harley. However, you do not need to check on the humans before 7 AM on a weekend.

Regards,

The human

snowfire

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #2051 on: March 02, 2015, 08:09:30 PM »
Dear Smudge,

I enjoy having you snuggle on the pillow with me. Kitty purrs are perfect for relaxing.  However, would you please refrain from farting in my face.  Recycled gooshyfood at two inches will strip paint!

Love,
Your backrest

Mel the Redcap

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #2052 on: March 02, 2015, 08:41:01 PM »
In Kirk's vernacular (which, to be fair, might not be the same "word" in Aussie) nnnGOW meant "Where are you?"  After his dog-buddy Tasha was put to sleep, he wandered around the house looking for her and crying, "ArrOO? nnnGOW?"   :'(

That was my thought too!  Sometimes cats (at least the ones I have had) get confused after a deep sleep and think everyone abandoned them while they were out - then they are so happy when they find you again!

If that's it, either she's getting confused really quickly or she thinks I'm getting confused and will wander off, because every time she does this it's only been a few minutes since she was last in the study getting patted (or trying to stuff her current Best Toy Ever down the back of my shirt, or...). Hmm. Perhaps this is Holly-ese for "I'm still bored, I've got nothing to dooooo, entertain me!"
"Set aphasia to stun!"