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Author Topic: But ... But ... It's Not Like It's Work! (Craft Freebies)  (Read 626599 times)

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Shalamar

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Re: But ... But ... It's Not Like It's Work! (Craft Freebies)
« Reply #540 on: February 19, 2014, 03:16:17 PM »
Quote
I have a feeling that your dad wanted the books out of the house permanently.   :(

I think you're right.  My dad didn't (still doesn't) approve of a lot of my reading choices, and he might have thought this was a good opportunity to get rid of my books and convince me to read stuff that he DID approve of. 

Good thing I wasn't into Stephen King at the time.  If I'd permanently lost my beloved Stephen Kings, I would NOT have been happy.

doodlemor

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Re: But ... But ... It's Not Like It's Work! (Craft Freebies)
« Reply #541 on: February 19, 2014, 04:38:12 PM »
Quote
I have a feeling that your dad wanted the books out of the house permanently.   :(

I think you're right.  My dad didn't (still doesn't) approve of a lot of my reading choices, and he might have thought this was a good opportunity to get rid of my books and convince me to read stuff that he DID approve of. 

Good thing I wasn't into Stephen King at the time.  If I'd permanently lost my beloved Stephen Kings, I would NOT have been happy.

Your dad may have told the guy that he could have the books.

If I were you, I'd call the man and ask if you could please have your books back that your father lent to him.  He may have disposed of them already, or passed them along to someone else, but at least you will have tried.

It sounds like your father was not considerate of your possessions, or of your feelings about your books.

jaxsue

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Re: But ... But ... It's Not Like It's Work! (Craft Freebies)
« Reply #542 on: February 19, 2014, 04:43:20 PM »
This isn't craft-related, but it does fit the gist of this thread.

My X-DH is a bagpiper. He has played for almost 30 yrs. He has spent a couple thousand dollars for his kit (his kilt, etc.) and his bagpipes. It's amazing how many people want him to play for free. FTR, he will play for free for certain events, such as graveside services for friends/relatives and weddings for family members. But it's very SS when people want him to play for free for a wedding (someone he doesn't even know). They're paying the florist, minister, the caterer, but the musicians have to do it for nothing? Oookay.  :P

A friend of ours who is a professional opera singer gets the same thing.  He sang for free at our wedding as his gift to us (it was discussed beforehand and mutually agreed upon) but he's told me that he's often asked to sing for functions for free, which isn't something he can afford to do.

But it's a hobby, don't you know?  :)

ddawn23

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Re: But ... But ... It's Not Like It's Work! (Craft Freebies)
« Reply #543 on: February 19, 2014, 05:10:23 PM »
This isn't craft-related, but it does fit the gist of this thread.

My X-DH is a bagpiper. He has played for almost 30 yrs. He has spent a couple thousand dollars for his kit (his kilt, etc.) and his bagpipes. It's amazing how many people want him to play for free. FTR, he will play for free for certain events, such as graveside services for friends/relatives and weddings for family members. But it's very SS when people want him to play for free for a wedding (someone he doesn't even know). They're paying the florist, minister, the caterer, but the musicians have to do it for nothing? Oookay.  :P

A friend of ours who is a professional opera singer gets the same thing.  He sang for free at our wedding as his gift to us (it was discussed beforehand and mutually agreed upon) but he's told me that he's often asked to sing for functions for free, which isn't something he can afford to do.

But it's a hobby, don't you know?  :)
And opera singing is the kind of thing you can do constantly without it affecting your job performance!  I'm surprised nobody's made the argument that he practices for free, so why can't he just think of my wedding as rehearsal?

LazyDaisy

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Re: But ... But ... It's Not Like It's Work! (Craft Freebies)
« Reply #544 on: February 19, 2014, 05:58:31 PM »
Quote
I have a feeling that your dad wanted the books out of the house permanently.   :(

I think you're right.  My dad didn't (still doesn't) approve of a lot of my reading choices, and he might have thought this was a good opportunity to get rid of my books and convince me to read stuff that he DID approve of. 

Good thing I wasn't into Stephen King at the time.  If I'd permanently lost my beloved Stephen Kings, I would NOT have been happy.

Your dad may have told the guy that he could have the books.

If I were you, I'd call the man and ask if you could please have your books back that your father lent to him.  He may have disposed of them already, or passed them along to someone else, but at least you will have tried.

It sounds like your father was not considerate of your possessions, or of your feelings about your books.

I suspect the "friend" might be a ruse altogether and that Father never gave anyone those books. Either way, he owes replacements since he was the one who acted as intermediary in this exchange. The good thing is that most books are easy to repurchase (unless they are out of print or truly one-of-a-kind such as signed or first editions.)
"A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools." Douglas Adams

Figgie

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Re: But ... But ... It's Not Like It's Work! (Craft Freebies)
« Reply #545 on: February 19, 2014, 08:32:59 PM »
Yeah, I've come across that before as well. Or people who volunteer you to do something because it makes THEM look good, and then get upset when you refuse to do it for free.

My spouse's hobby is working with laptops/pc's/tablets.  It isn't what he does for a living (or even close), but he loves to do hands on type stuff with technology.  He is a perfectionist who takes the time to make sure everything is working correctly, so if he builds you a computer, it will work correctly right from the start.

He has had to tell people that if they ever volunteer him to work on a friend of a friends computer, or even another friend's computer, he will no longer work on their computers.  He only charges for the parts, which makes him very popular as a  computer hobbyist/builder/fixer.

I actually ended a friendship in part because that particular woman just loved to volunteer my spouse to fix all of her friends and families computers.  My spouse had only kept her computers running because she was my friend.  And a difficult job it was, as she was one of those persons who never met a link that she wouldn't click on or an email she wouldn't open, along with the attachment.

She became angry with me when my spouse told her no, he wouldn't fix her next door neighbors brothers computer.  That, along with a bunch of other bad behavior, was a large part of what helped me to realize how one-sided the friendship had become.

My spouse said that he thought she loved being the hero, but didn't love having to actually do anything to deserve the accolades.  Volunteering my spouse made people think well of her and she craved that attention like a mosquito craves blood.  :)

My spouse is so firm on this rule of not being voluntold to work on other people's computers that he has one brother who he will always take the time to help and one who has to pay someone else to fix his computers after multiple incidents of volunteering him to work on people he had never met computers.

doodlemor

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Re: But ... But ... It's Not Like It's Work! (Craft Freebies)
« Reply #546 on: February 19, 2014, 08:53:21 PM »
Quote
I have a feeling that your dad wanted the books out of the house permanently.   :(

I think you're right.  My dad didn't (still doesn't) approve of a lot of my reading choices, and he might have thought this was a good opportunity to get rid of my books and convince me to read stuff that he DID approve of. 

Good thing I wasn't into Stephen King at the time.  If I'd permanently lost my beloved Stephen Kings, I would NOT have been happy.

Your dad may have told the guy that he could have the books.

If I were you, I'd call the man and ask if you could please have your books back that your father lent to him.  He may have disposed of them already, or passed them along to someone else, but at least you will have tried.

It sounds like your father was not considerate of your possessions, or of your feelings about your books.

I suspect the "friend" might be a ruse altogether and that Father never gave anyone those books. Either way, he owes replacements since he was the one who acted as intermediary in this exchange. The good thing is that most books are easy to repurchase (unless they are out of print or truly one-of-a-kind such as signed or first editions.)

That makes a lot of sense, too. 

Presuming that you know the name of the "friend," Shalimar, I definitely think that you need to call and inquire about the books.  If your father pitched them he may be embarrassed [rightfully] if the friend later asks him what is going on.

If dad just said that he was lending them to a  nameless friend then I'm afraid that they are likely gone.

You have probably guessed that I'm a big book lover, too.  If you are looking to replace old titles try ebay.  It is a good place to start.

weeblewobble

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Re: But ... But ... It's Not Like It's Work! (Craft Freebies)
« Reply #547 on: February 19, 2014, 09:51:20 PM »
Quote
I have a feeling that your dad wanted the books out of the house permanently.   :(

I think you're right.  My dad didn't (still doesn't) approve of a lot of my reading choices, and he might have thought this was a good opportunity to get rid of my books and convince me to read stuff that he DID approve of. 

Good thing I wasn't into Stephen King at the time.  If I'd permanently lost my beloved Stephen Kings, I would NOT have been happy.

I don't loan my books out because of this attitude.  I have (way too) many paperbacks, that appear to have no real value, but a lot of them are completely random, out of print second-hand shop finds that I would never be able to track down again. For instance, it took me YEARS to track down a Harlequin paperback that was the very first romance I can remember reading.  The cover is worn and there are two pages missing, but it's priceless in terms of sentimental value. If someone told me I could "afford to lost" that book, I would be really angry.


Psychopoesie

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Re: But ... But ... It's Not Like It's Work! (Craft Freebies)
« Reply #548 on: February 19, 2014, 11:09:17 PM »
I love my books too so feeling the pain of  those lost books, shalamar. It's not only the loss of the books that hurts either - it's also a breach of trust for someone who's meant to care for you to borrow without any intention of returning.

That's happened a few too many times to me - now I won't lend anything I'm not prepared to say goodbye to. Those books are few and far between.


PastryGoddess

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Re: But ... But ... It's Not Like It's Work! (Craft Freebies)
« Reply #549 on: February 20, 2014, 08:08:45 AM »
My aunt likes to come over to my house and borrow books without telling me.  So now I have an aunt shelf, full of books I don't mind disappearing.  the important books are on a small bookcase, hidden behind some hardbacks.

kategillian

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Re: But ... But ... It's Not Like It's Work! (Craft Freebies)
« Reply #550 on: February 20, 2014, 08:45:40 AM »
It's astounding to me that people feel no pressure to return books! These are the people who ask you why you're reading that book AGAIN? But they will watch the same movie 20 times! I have multiple copies of some books, because I assumed that I would not get them back from people, and that book HAS to be on my shelf!

Shalamar

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Re: But ... But ... It's Not Like It's Work! (Craft Freebies)
« Reply #551 on: February 20, 2014, 10:22:35 AM »
Thanks, guys!  Unfortunately, it's far too late to do anything about the books - it was years ago when I was a teenager.    I can't even remember the titles - I just remember that they were favorites of mine.  Dad's cavalier attitude towards my possessions really ticked me off, especially since he's still mad about a friend borrowing one of HIS books and never returning it.   It's DIFFERENT, though, you see - his book was a rare out-of-print edition, and mine were just dime-store paperbacks.   ::)

wolfie

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Re: But ... But ... It's Not Like It's Work! (Craft Freebies)
« Reply #552 on: February 20, 2014, 10:24:54 AM »
Thanks, guys!  Unfortunately, it's far too late to do anything about the books - it was years ago when I was a teenager.    I can't even remember the titles - I just remember that they were favorites of mine.  Dad's cavalier attitude towards my possessions really ticked me off, especially since he's still mad about a friend borrowing one of HIS books and never returning it.   It's DIFFERENT, though, you see - his book was a rare out-of-print edition, and mine were just dime-store paperbacks.   ::)

I would say it was different IF he replaced your books for you! i have a few books that I would be okay losing because replacements would be easy to find, and others that will not leave my house because it took me a long time to actually find them. But that doesn't excuse taking away someone else's books.

jedikaiti

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Re: But ... But ... It's Not Like It's Work! (Craft Freebies)
« Reply #553 on: February 20, 2014, 10:29:12 AM »
Thanks, guys!  Unfortunately, it's far too late to do anything about the books - it was years ago when I was a teenager.    I can't even remember the titles - I just remember that they were favorites of mine.  Dad's cavalier attitude towards my possessions really ticked me off, especially since he's still mad about a friend borrowing one of HIS books and never returning it.   It's DIFFERENT, though, you see - his book was a rare out-of-print edition, and mine were just dime-store paperbacks.   ::)

Present him with a bill for replacement costs, plus interest. :-)
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VorFemme

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Re: But ... But ... It's Not Like It's Work! (Craft Freebies)
« Reply #554 on: February 20, 2014, 10:58:09 AM »
Some of those old dime store paperbacks are now collector's items...

And I remember that my sister & I bought books with shared money.  When I got married, we had to sort out who owned which books.  Then Mom came into the room and tried to insist that SHE owned some of them.  Books are something that I understand being attached to! 

We did finally get it mostly worked out - although I still see a few books with my name on the inside cover that were borrowed from me AFTER I got married and then stuck with the books Mom still has.  I now loan her only books that I don't mind loosing....or am willing to "borrow" equivalent books back from her later.  If it is part of a series - it stays at MY house and she can check it out from the library.

Or I put it on the list of things to get her when it comes time to give her a gift! 
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