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Author Topic: But ... But ... It's Not Like It's Work! (Craft Freebies)  (Read 603679 times)

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TootsNYC

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Re: But ... But ... It's Not Like It's Work! (Craft Freebies)
« Reply #630 on: February 26, 2014, 02:17:14 PM »
I made my sister in law a twin sized quilt. It was what I considered to be one of the best I had made. She thanked me very nicely when she got it. Two weeks later she complained it was too small and the next time I make one for her to make it bigger. Next she let her son use it to let his rabbit play on it. Finally I went over there and found she's using it as a dog blanket. It took me 33 hours to make. I hand stitched parts of it and machine quilted a lot of it. I know it wasn't perfect but I tried my hardest. I will never make her anything again. My husband thinks I'm being petty but it's his baby sister and she does no wrong.

Oh hellz no. Using a handmade quilt as a dog blanket!!


This is exactly why I do not ever want to have anybody give me a handmade quilt--or a handmade anything.

It becomes mine. I can do with it what I want. And I don't want someone else assigning a value to anything and imposing that value on me.

Maybe I don't need a twin-bed quilt, bcs I have bedding I like better. I need a dog blanket.

I totally get that this means you don't want to give me anymore guilts--er, quilts. (Sorry--made a typo, and then realized that this is exactly what I meant). Fine w/ me--I didn't want the first one, really. And you're not ever obligated to give me anything, so I'd prefer someone not give me something that they'll end up feeling bad about.

buvezdevin

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Re: But ... But ... It's Not Like It's Work! (Craft Freebies)
« Reply #631 on: February 26, 2014, 02:34:40 PM »
I made my sister in law a twin sized quilt. It was what I considered to be one of the best I had made. She thanked me very nicely when she got it. Two weeks later she complained it was too small and the next time I make one for her to make it bigger. Next she let her son use it to let his rabbit play on it. Finally I went over there and found she's using it as a dog blanket. It took me 33 hours to make. I hand stitched parts of it and machine quilted a lot of it. I know it wasn't perfect but I tried my hardest. I will never make her anything again. My husband thinks I'm being petty but it's his baby sister and she does no wrong.

Oh hellz no. Using a handmade quilt as a dog blanket!!


This is exactly why I do not ever want to have anybody give me a handmade quilt--or a handmade anything.

It becomes mine. I can do with it what I want. And I don't want someone else assigning a value to anything and imposing that value on me.

Maybe I don't need a twin-bed quilt, bcs I have bedding I like better. I need a dog blanket.

I totally get that this means you don't want to give me anymore guilts--er, quilts. (Sorry--made a typo, and then realized that this is exactly what I meant). Fine w/ me--I didn't want the first one, really. And you're not ever obligated to give me anything, so I'd prefer someone not give me something that they'll end up feeling bad about.

Understand what you're saying Toots, but the same can be said of any gifted item, hand-crafted or not, if it is an item valued differently by giver and recipient.

So, my mother used to collect old vinyl records, and would be willing to gift one to a friend, but only if she thought it was something they would enjoy as well.  If she later found the recipient using it as a frisbee, probably not gifting more LPs to that person.  Which is fine.

Except where a quilter/crafter (or collector of LPs) is then voluntold/asked/expected to share something with someone, and *knows* the intended recipient does not hold such a "thing" in the same general regard, or understand the actual effort/value of the "thing". 

So jtime's SIL may have uses for a multitude of quilts for any number of purposes ("the next time you make me one...") but those won't be supplied by jtime.
Never refuse to do a kindness unless the act would work great injury to yourself, and never refuse to take a drink -- under any circumstances.
Mark Twain

TootsNYC

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Re: But ... But ... It's Not Like It's Work! (Craft Freebies)
« Reply #632 on: February 26, 2014, 02:55:23 PM »
Quote
does not ... understand the actual effort/value of the "thing". 

Here is my point: "Value" is subjective.

A homemade quilt* may not have the same value to me that it does to the person who made it. Even if I -do- recognize the effort and work that goes into it; even if I do recognize the value that she places on it.

Other people don't get to assign the "value" that *I* place on something.

I think we would agree that the quiltmaker may place her *own* "value" on the quilt, and that it may be quite a bit higher than mine (in some cases, it would be lower; my grandmother would have told me to throw out my childhood quilt long ago when it began disintegrating). And when our different values don't match up, well, we don't have the same values. (winkie--see, wasn't that a clever turn of phrase?)

But just because the crafter places a value on their product doesn't mean *I* must place the same value on it.

EXCEPT FOR THIS: It's tremendously rude to demand people give you stuff of *any* value, and it's tremendously rude to argue that the crafter must change -her- value to match mine.

Because *I* don't get to assign the value *she* should place on it, either.




*"Quilt" being a stand-in for any handcrafted item.

buvezdevin

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Re: But ... But ... It's Not Like It's Work! (Craft Freebies)
« Reply #633 on: February 26, 2014, 03:10:42 PM »
Quote
does not ... understand the actual effort/value of the "thing". 

Here is my point: "Value" is subjective.

A homemade quilt* may not have the same value to me that it does to the person who made it. Even if I -do- recognize the effort and work that goes into it; even if I do recognize the value that she places on it.

Other people don't get to assign the "value" that *I* place on something.

I think we would agree that the quiltmaker may place her *own* "value" on the quilt, and that it may be quite a bit higher than mine (in some cases, it would be lower; my grandmother would have told me to throw out my childhood quilt long ago when it began disintegrating). And when our different values don't match up, well, we don't have the same values. (winkie--see, wasn't that a clever turn of phrase?)

But just because the crafter places a value on their product doesn't mean *I* must place the same value on it.

EXCEPT FOR THIS: It's tremendously rude to demand people give you stuff of *any* value, and it's tremendously rude to argue that the crafter must change -her- value to match mine.

Because *I* don't get to assign the value *she* should place on it, either.




*"Quilt" being a stand-in for any handcrafted item.

You just restated exactly the point I made.
Never refuse to do a kindness unless the act would work great injury to yourself, and never refuse to take a drink -- under any circumstances.
Mark Twain

Lynn2000

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Re: But ... But ... It's Not Like It's Work! (Craft Freebies)
« Reply #634 on: February 26, 2014, 03:42:01 PM »
Yeah, I think the disconnect in a lot of these stories is that they start with someone demanding, or even just more or less politely asking for, a homemade item from a crafter--so they want a specific thing that a specific person made, rather than going to Wal-Mart and buying a blanket or a sweater or whatever. And then, they use that homemade thing they asked for carelessly--using a homemade quilt as a dog blanket exactly the way they'd use a $10 fleece blanket from Wal-Mart. Maybe that's because they don't understand the value of the homemade item (in terms of time/money/effort/sentiment) or maybe they would've used a $200 store-bought cashmere blanket the same way. (Maybe only if the $200 blanket was a gift, and didn't represent their $200... ?)

And that's when the crafter goes, "I will never make anything for you again."

If the crafter just spontaneously presented them with the homemade item, with no indication they wanted it, that's when things can get a bit dodgy. Because as TootsNYC described it so well, you feel like you can't get rid of the thing or use it in a way that would be useful to you, and then you feel like a bad person because you don't like it. That's why I'm really careful about not pushing anything I make on others, I always wait for them to ask me about it. Because I don't want to put them in the position of accepting something they didn't want, and then having to throw it away or whatever--I'd rather keep the thing and give it to someone who really wanted it.

Wow, if I gave someone a stuffed animal I'd made for them/their kids and then saw them using it as a dog toy I'd probably faint. I gave my grandma some of the stuffed animals (per request) and she passed them on to my little cousins (which I knew beforehand), who were twirling them around and stretching them and yanking on them. My mom thought I would flip out, but I was like--you know, that's what they're for, to be played with by kids. I was just glad they held up to the abuse.
~Lynn2000

TootsNYC

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Re: But ... But ... It's Not Like It's Work! (Craft Freebies)
« Reply #635 on: February 26, 2014, 03:47:17 PM »
Quote
That's why I'm really careful about not pushing anything I make on others, I always wait for them to ask me about it. Because I don't want to put them in the position of accepting something they didn't want, and then having to throw it away or whatever--I'd rather keep the thing and give it to someone who really wanted it.

I know what you mean! (though I'm less about giving the thing to someone who would value it, and more about not making them feel guilty that they don't like it)

And I "blew it" this year bcs I made a purple linen capelet for my BFF. Mostly because I wanted to. I'm hoping she'll find it useful and will like it, but it *might* be annoying. And I told her that she should get rid of it if that's the case.
   She assured me that she would, and that she'd never mention that to me.

I gave a cousin a sheer leopard-print moebius scarf for her b'day; hopefully if she doesn't like it, she'll feel OK getting rid of it, bcs I would never, ever know.

I think I'd have a similar reaction to you w/ the kids playing w/ the stuffed animals: Good, they like them! A quilt that gets worn out because it was used nightly (and washed often), that would make me happy. Bcs it was used and loved.

POF

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Re: But ... But ... It's Not Like It's Work! (Craft Freebies)
« Reply #636 on: February 26, 2014, 04:11:19 PM »
My grandmother made beautiful handmade rugs, out of old clothes and whatever old material she could get her hands on.  She had an amazing sense of color and perspective.  Ok She also really really liked orange material .... but thats another discussion.  >:D

She wanted us to USE the things she gave us.   I used the throw rugs for years and then when they were worn they went to the utility room.

My Aunt gave me a beautiful hand quilted / embroidered white quilt for my wedding 20 years ago. I've never had it out. It's probably museum quality and with pets - I don't want to worry about it ... plus ... its WHITE.

I have several antiques feedsack quilts from my great grandmother - which I use daily. Sure the cat will sleep on one, but for me I like them to be in use.

While I love handmade things, for me its very selective.  My MIL used to make a lot of kitschy stuff and DH had a hard time letting it go.... some of it had small accidents.


Lynn2000

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Re: But ... But ... It's Not Like It's Work! (Craft Freebies)
« Reply #637 on: February 26, 2014, 04:44:46 PM »
Yeah, I'm okay with something getting damaged or worn out because it was used with enjoyment--I find that to be a compliment! :) If someone wanted a dog toy, it might be kind of a fun challenge for me, figuring out how to make one, what materials to use, etc.. And then of course, I would expect it to get used and chewed on and all that. Or if a child-toy was damaged while the child was playing with it--I offer free repairs! :) I wouldn't get mad about that, because that's what I was hoping would happen, that it would be used a lot.

You know, something I meant as a child-toy, which I see being used as a dog toy, could even be explained to me in a good way--a lot of it is in the attitude, too. There's a big difference between discovering that something is genuinely useful and appreciated but in a surprising way, and dismissively chucking something over your shoulder in a way that devalues the work that went into it.
~Lynn2000

Sirius

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Re: But ... But ... It's Not Like It's Work! (Craft Freebies)
« Reply #638 on: February 26, 2014, 04:58:59 PM »
I made tote bags for those on my Christmas list.  While everyone loved them, I have already made up my mind that they belong to the recipients to do with as they will.  Tote music books?  Great.  Carry groceries?  Fine with me.  Even giving it to someone else who needs one more won't bother me, but if someone thought it was hideous and pitched it I'd prefer not to know.

buvezdevin

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Re: But ... But ... It's Not Like It's Work! (Craft Freebies)
« Reply #639 on: February 26, 2014, 05:00:13 PM »
POF, you bring up a really good point about *using* things, which means they may eventually wear out - whether hand-made or store bought items - and also recognizing some things may not get used as they are impractical, for any reason.  I think a gift can be enjoyed and appreciated - whether it is then "used up" or kept as a special item and not in regular use.  But I am not much interested in keeping anything I won't *use* at least occasionally - no matter how lovely/well-made or expensively bought - because for me it just becomes another thing taking up storage room.

I do have at least one "crafted" item I received more than a decade ago, never used, but would not part with.  My stepfather was raised in a large family on a small farm.  While he became a successful businessman - he continued to enjoy growing a small vegetable patch every year, and preserving a few cans from any very successful season.  I have a mason jar of some green beans he canned the last summer he was alive.  Because he "made" it, from growing the beans to preserving them, it's my favorite tangible memento of him, and seeing it on a bookshelf brings back vivid memories of the many wonderful foods he made over the years.
Never refuse to do a kindness unless the act would work great injury to yourself, and never refuse to take a drink -- under any circumstances.
Mark Twain

Outdoor Girl

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Re: But ... But ... It's Not Like It's Work! (Craft Freebies)
« Reply #640 on: February 26, 2014, 05:17:57 PM »
I'm a baker.  At Christmas time, I used to give everyone in the office a little bag of cookies or a little loaf cake, about the size of a medium sized muffin.  A few years ago, those treats were tossed on the lunchroom table, putting them up for grabs.

Which kind of annoyed me.  They could have taken them home for a spouse or given them to the people who have a notorious sweet tooth, rather than what they did, which ensured that I would know that someone didn't want what I'd made.

So I stopped doing it.  I still take treats in but I leave them on the lunchroom table or another central spot so that those who want them can indulge and those that don't can ignore them.  And the tray is always empty at the end of the day so I know they are appreciated.

I've given sweaters to my Dad, brother and nephews many times over the years.  The only one I still knit one for every year is my Dad because I know he'll wear them all the time - whenever he wants to dress up a bit, like for church or doing his slide shows in the senior's centres.  But my oldest nephew requested one last Christmas as his gift.  Which I was happy to do.  And my brother requested some dishcloths so he got those, too.  And now he wants a sweater for this coming Christmas - I'm going to have to get sorted out which pattern he wants and get going on that, as well as finish the one that was for my Dad at Christmas that didn't get done.  I'll have it for his birthday in June.  And probably make him another one for Christmas.
After cleaning out my Dad's house, I have this advice:  If you haven't used it in a year, throw it out!!!!.
Ontario

jtimenow

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Re: But ... But ... It's Not Like It's Work! (Craft Freebies)
« Reply #641 on: February 26, 2014, 05:27:04 PM »
To clarify about gifting my sister in law with the quilt, she ASKED me several times to make her one. She had seen other quilts I made for Aunts and cousins. I even made a baby quilt for her son.

TootsNYC

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Re: But ... But ... It's Not Like It's Work! (Craft Freebies)
« Reply #642 on: February 26, 2014, 06:11:51 PM »
if someone thought it was hideous and pitched it I'd prefer not to know.


This is, of course,true of any gift.
The more energy has gone into selectingt the gift, the more powerful this sentiment.
Stuff I've carefully picked out--even if I didn't make it--I don't want to know that someone tossed it. Oh, they can, of course; I'd even encourage them to do so. But I don't -really- want to know.

Jocelyn

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Re: But ... But ... It's Not Like It's Work! (Craft Freebies)
« Reply #643 on: February 26, 2014, 07:43:09 PM »
I think I need to take my mom to Paducah. She and Dad tried to go once, but they went on a Monday, and evidently everything is closed on Monday.

Mom has gone to the International Quilt Festival the past three years, b/c it was here in Cincinnati. I went once, I don't remember seeing prices, but then you don't see price tags in a museum either. She's very disappointed the festival decided to move back to Chicago.
The big show is the last week of April, but hotels are already booked. You'd have to stay at quite a distance. The museum and several quilt shops are there all the time, of course, and there's Hancock's of Paducah, the world's largest fabric store. It's the Sam's Club of fabric stores. :)

PastryGoddess

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Re: But ... But ... It's Not Like It's Work! (Craft Freebies)
« Reply #644 on: February 26, 2014, 08:36:41 PM »
I think I need to take my mom to Paducah. She and Dad tried to go once, but they went on a Monday, and evidently everything is closed on Monday.

Mom has gone to the International Quilt Festival the past three years, b/c it was here in Cincinnati. I went once, I don't remember seeing prices, but then you don't see price tags in a museum either. She's very disappointed the festival decided to move back to Chicago.
The big show is the last week of April, but hotels are already booked. You'd have to stay at quite a distance. The museum and several quilt shops are there all the time, of course, and there's Hancock's of Paducah, the world's largest fabric store. It's the Sam's Club of fabric stores. :)

*sob*  I miss Hancock's