It's...an interesting situation, to say the least. DH's family is insensitive? on many levels either by their ignorance, selfishness, or refusal to recognize that the world doesn't revolve around them. DH is completely different from them and I think he is the way he is (laid back, responsible, loyal, etc) because they are the way they are.
Every weekend, he and SIL go over to MIL's house (FIL passed before DH and I got together) to hang out with her for a bit, DH helps around the house if needed, then he and SIL go work out together (she won't go without him). This has been their routine for 15+ years? I'm not invited because they wouldn't think to and they're not welcoming to me so I wouldn't really want to. DH has learned from our past experiences that when they exclude me from things, he's not supposed to be laid back about it and he's supposed to stick up for me, like when they blatantly didn't invite me to their Christmas gathering. This particular thing though, I've never been asked to come over, and as it happens every single week, it's not worth causing a huge fuss over.
The in laws are prone to extreme drama and I try to save our efforts for the bigger grievances. I chalk this up to this is how his family has done it for years and they're not going to change anytime soon. Plus, if I'd been there in person, I'm not so sure I could've stopped evilRaina from speaking quite rudely.
Definitely no more handmade (or handbaked!) gifts for people who don't appreciate them though!
I think SIL was wanting another creation similar to the 7 layer chocolate truffle cake I made as her gift on a different year. You'd think I'd learn to stop hoping his family would appreciate anything