^Somehow, I think you have managed quite nicely without "friend".
Sadly, I'd have to agree. I spent ten years thinking that this middle-aged man (then in his 30s but now in his 40s) was going to grow up, but I realized, about six years ago, that that wasn't going to happen (he is the epitome of Special Snowflake). Oh, well!
I don't want to drag up old pain, but I'm curious as to why/how he thought you should hold him up as more important than your own fiance.
Oh, no worries -- no old-pain-dragging here. I sent you a PM so I don't derail the thread.
Looks as if you may as well just post it here, or the thread will get derailed anyway with requests for PMs ... Besides, I'm curious too! Especially since I've had a "friend" think the same thing about me and my fiance.
Okay, as requested...
The answer you are looking for requires logic, and there is no logic here. What happened is there was a festival he and other friends were attending with then-DF and me. Friend, Friend2, then-DF and I were going to participate in an event at the festival. At the last minute, then-DF was unable to participate so I made a faux-sad face at him (I really wasn't upset about then-DF not participating (he wasn't feeling well) and said I was sad that then-DF couldn't participate. Friend overheard me, got a thunderous look on his face then said in a low tone only I could hear, "*I* am participating, and that's not good enough?!" Unlike me, Friend was not kidding. I, OTOH, was incredulous that it was an all-or-nothing situation for Friend -- I could only be happy because Friend was participating; I was not allowed to feel any sadness at all that then-DF was not going to be able to participate. THAT is how Friend was TELLING me that he should be more important to me than then-DF (I know others could state that I could've been misinterpreting this response, but I have years of experience with Friend pulling this kind of stuff -- Friend definitely was PO'd and definitely felt I should not care that then-DF wasn't participating since Friend was, which "should be good enough" <-- direct quote from Friend). I did later have a private chat with Friend about this because Friend insisted on taking me aside to have a go at me (yes, this is while we were still at the festival). Should I mention that Friend was verbally abusive towards me for seven years so he was accustomed to me being cowed by him, rather than having the courage to stand up for myself? (I was still friends with him because I still "believed" in the "good" person he was -- something I think abuse victims often tell themselves in addition to blaming themselves for the abuse occurring). I stood up for myself that day and let Friend know in no uncertain terms that I was marrying then-DF and that then-DF would ALWAYS come first where Friend was concerned.
Anyway, then-DF and Friend2 heard none of this exchange at the event or the rude aside I was forced to participate in a little later. I told then-DF about both later -- actually, I ranted because I was so peeved. That was the last time I saw and spoke to Friend (almost three years ago, I think) as I determined that action was the last straw after a few other really rude actions on his part that day so I needed to stop making any effort at continuing this friendship.
Please note this wasn't jealous suitor/former suitor behavior. Friend feels everything in life should go exactly how he thinks it should be and that all other ways are wrong that do not match his viewpoint or preference. Again, he is the epitome of "special."
Okay, going back to our scheduled topic --
When I was 21, I went through a phase when I was baking all the time. I just did it for fun and gave away everything I made. My mother said her coworkers were thrilled with my proceeds. However, I didn't schedule any baking; I just baked when the mood struck me. Occasionally, my mother would mention her coworkers were asking about my baked goods so I'd comply and bake cookies. One day, Mom came home and said she promised her coworkers I'd bake a cake for their potluck.
I was tired, had school stuff to do and didn't feel like it so I said no and that Mom could do it herself. Mom pleaded with me. I was peeved. I went ahead and baked a bundt and did nothing further. I remember Mom made a glaze to pour over the cake then brought it to work. I think I did continue to bake when I felt like it and give my baked goods to Mom to bring to work, but Mom never promised ME to bake for someone else ever again.
A few years later, for a company potluck, my coworker promised her daughter would bake a cake for us. I, remembering what my mother did to me years earlier, asked if she were sure since she hadn't checked with her daughter yet. Coworker said there was no need as she was sure her daughter would be happy to bake that cake. Come the potluck, Coworker showed up sans cake. I think I might've asked Coworker about it, and she said her daughter was busy. Thought so. Coworker never volunteered her daughter to do anything for us again.