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Author Topic: But ... But ... It's Not Like It's Work! (Craft Freebies)  (Read 624882 times)

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Stormtreader

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Re: But ... But ... It's Not Like It's Work! (Craft Freebies)
« Reply #480 on: October 10, 2013, 04:41:09 AM »
I’ve seen this one coming, but have been waiting to see what form it would take.

I know Doris from a crochet class, and she’s quite capable of crocheting things herself, but she’s very very lazy.  Over two years ago she promised to make afghans for her two grandchildren (boy and girl), but hasn’t yet started them.  I hit a slow spell recently and offered to make an afghan for her granddaughter, because it was a pattern I wanted to make.  I’ve been working hard on the afghan for six weeks and am about 2/3 done.

Today I mentioned my progress to Doris, and her response was “Grandson is going to want to know where his is”. 

A lot of not-so-ehell-approved responses came to mind, but I said nothing because I want to watch the progression of manipulative hints and sense of entitlement that follow before I agree to make an afghan for the grandson – which I intend to do because I want to. 

But she doesn’t need to know that for a while.

"Probably! Youre going to have to work quickly to get that done at the same time as mine!"

menley

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Re: But ... But ... It's Not Like It's Work! (Craft Freebies)
« Reply #481 on: October 30, 2013, 02:23:47 PM »
So in the interest of NOT being one of these awful people…

A friend has crocheted a scarf for me. She made one for herself, I gave it hearty compliments and she offered to make one for me in whatever colors I'd like. I bought the yarn and she's done it already, in about 2-3 hours as she said she was bored :)

I'll see her this week and I want to pay her for her efforts. However, she is one of those people that tries never to accept money for anything (for example, she bought me an ice cream the other day because I didn't have the right change and almost refused to take the money when I tried to pay her back, despite me clearly owing the money!) So, I can't ask her how much she would charge because she would almost certainly refuse to tell me.

Any thoughts on what I should pay her? I found similar scarves on Etsy (it's an infinity scarf, sort of like this - https://www.etsy.com/listing/119425686/cozy-and-warm-crochet-infinity-scarf) but the prices range all over the place, from $15 to over $100 in some cases!

GlitterIsMyDrug

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Re: But ... But ... It's Not Like It's Work! (Craft Freebies)
« Reply #482 on: October 30, 2013, 02:27:57 PM »
Rather then paying her with money (as it sounds she did it for just because you were her friend) what about treating her to a thank you lunch or coffee?

cwm

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Re: But ... But ... It's Not Like It's Work! (Craft Freebies)
« Reply #483 on: October 30, 2013, 02:30:50 PM »
Menley, I'm going to tell you what my mother and grandmother taught me about accepting things from people.

Offer once to pay. If friend says no, you can say "Are you sure?" and offer again. If friend says no again, let it go and pay her back some other way sometime.

To be honest, if someone bought the yarn for me to make them something and didn't rush me on it, I'd consider that payment enough and wouldn't accept anything else from them either, especially if I was bored enough to finish it that quickly. Don't worry about paying back your friend now, just make sure you treat her for lunch sometime in the future, or something equally nice.

Sara Crewe

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Re: But ... But ... It's Not Like It's Work! (Craft Freebies)
« Reply #484 on: October 30, 2013, 02:34:02 PM »
If you pay her, you are turning this from a nice gift into a commercial transaction.  Between two people who are acquaintances only, that's appropriate, but I don't think it is here.

I'd suggest getting her a gift such as a nice box of chocolates or bottle of wine (assuming she eats sweets/drinks).


Modified because I can spell if I try.
« Last Edit: October 30, 2013, 02:57:40 PM by Tiamet »

Tea Drinker

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Re: But ... But ... It's Not Like It's Work! (Craft Freebies)
« Reply #485 on: October 30, 2013, 02:53:50 PM »
So in the interest of NOT being one of these awful people…

A friend has crocheted a scarf for me. She made one for herself, I gave it hearty compliments and she offered to make one for me in whatever colors I'd like. I bought the yarn and she's done it already, in about 2-3 hours as she said she was bored :)

I'll see her this week and I want to pay her for her efforts. However, she is one of those people that tries never to accept money for anything (for example, she bought me an ice cream the other day because I didn't have the right change and almost refused to take the money when I tried to pay her back, despite me clearly owing the money!) So, I can't ask her how much she would charge because she would almost certainly refuse to tell me.

Any thoughts on what I should pay her? I found similar scarves on Etsy (it's an infinity scarf, sort of like this - https://www.etsy.com/listing/119425686/cozy-and-warm-crochet-infinity-scarf) but the prices range all over the place, from $15 to over $100 in some cases!

Is there something you can do or make for her? A batch of home-made cookies, or taking care of some errand, might be a better idea than a gift you bought.
Any advice that requires the use of a time machine may safely be ignored.

Amara

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Re: But ... But ... It's Not Like It's Work! (Craft Freebies)
« Reply #486 on: October 30, 2013, 03:00:04 PM »
Does your friend sell her work? If so, refer people to her when they ask about your scarf.

dawbs

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Re: But ... But ... It's Not Like It's Work! (Craft Freebies)
« Reply #487 on: October 30, 2013, 03:09:25 PM »
If you pay her, you are turning this from a nice gift into a commercial transaction.  Between two people who are acquaintances only, that's appropriate, but I don't think it is here.

I'd suggest getting her a gift such as a nice box of chocolates or bottle of wine (assuming she eats sweets/drinks).


Modified because I can spell if I try.

This.
At some point, when you insist on paying for a gift, it feels like rejection of the gift.
And there's the difference in what it's worth/what someone would pay/etc.

I mean, I just charged someone $20 to do a calligraphy project for them.  If someone off the street had asked, i probably would have said $100.  The 'worth' is about $4 worth of materials and 7 hours of my time--I'm willing to give that to a friend, no charge.  I'm not willing to sell that to just anyone.

if you must repay, do it with something other than money

menley

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Re: But ... But ... It's Not Like It's Work! (Craft Freebies)
« Reply #488 on: October 30, 2013, 03:14:38 PM »
Thanks for all of the feedback! I think I'll treat her to lunch as a thank-you.

Outdoor Girl

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Re: But ... But ... It's Not Like It's Work! (Craft Freebies)
« Reply #489 on: October 30, 2013, 04:13:46 PM »
I was going to suggest the lunch thing, too.  A friend of mine asked me to repair her husband's afghan that was made by his blind grandmother.  She was going to pay me.  I suggested we go to a restaurant that we both love for lunch, on her, and call it good.  So that's what we did.
After cleaning out my Dad's house, I have this advice:  If you haven't used it in a year, throw it out!!!!.
Ontario

TootsNYC

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Re: But ... But ... It's Not Like It's Work! (Craft Freebies)
« Reply #490 on: October 30, 2013, 04:52:11 PM »
Rather then paying her with money (as it sounds she did it for just because you were her friend) what about treating her to a thank you lunch or coffee?

Or do something nice for her.

Volunteer to spend a Saturday helping her clean out a closet. Or if you make anything of any kind (food, sewing, whatever) or have any skills (resumé polishing even), look for an opportunity to gift her with something from YOUR hands.

CrazyDaffodilLady

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Re: But ... But ... It's Not Like It's Work! (Craft Freebies)
« Reply #491 on: November 11, 2013, 09:55:14 PM »
Update on Doris, the lazy crocheter:

During the two months I spent making an afghan for Doris’ granddaughter, Doris was simply awful to me.  I figured she was angry about me backing way off on enabling her, and also I know that she’s found a new victim.  The last two weeks I didn’t hear from her at all, and I was delighted.  I planned to drop the afghan off and hopefully never hear from her again.

When I called to tell her I was bringing the afghan over, she was hostile.  She said she was about to take a nap and I could leave it in the car port.  I mentioned that I’d started a camouflage afghan like her grandson has been saying he wanted for the past two years.  She informed me that he was bored with camouflage and now wanted a red and black afghan.

I had week of peace, but today she called while I was at work and left a message.  She was bubbling sugar.  She said she hadn’t been feeling well and hadn’t felt like talking to anyone.  She effused about the granddaughter’s afghan (which took me 100 hours to make).  The kicker:  She showed the afghan to a pet neighbor child, who wants to know if she can have one just like it. 
It takes two people to play tug of war. If you don't want to play, don't pick up the rope.

Doll Fiend

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Re: But ... But ... It's Not Like It's Work! (Craft Freebies)
« Reply #492 on: November 11, 2013, 10:35:14 PM »
Why do I doubt that the child actually wants one that badly? I have a feeling she is blowing it out of proportion.

cwm

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Re: But ... But ... It's Not Like It's Work! (Craft Freebies)
« Reply #493 on: November 12, 2013, 11:25:42 AM »
You can tell Doris that your gift to her grandchildren is free of charge (as it sounds like it is), but if Pet Neighbor Child wants one, it will be $XX and your turnaround time is Y weeks. Feel free to set your charge and time accordingly.

And if you don't want to switch to a red and black, just tell her that you've already started on the camoflauge and have already bought all the yarn, so terribly sorry, it will cost her $X to change colors at this point.

She sounds a little crazy, to be honest.

lady_disdain

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Re: But ... But ... It's Not Like It's Work! (Craft Freebies)
« Reply #494 on: November 18, 2013, 04:28:24 PM »
You can tell Doris that your gift to her grandchildren is free of charge (as it sounds like it is), but if Pet Neighbor Child wants one, it will be $XX and your turnaround time is Y weeks. Feel free to set your charge and time accordingly.

And if you don't want to switch to a red and black, just tell her that you've already started on the camoflauge and have already bought all the yarn, so terribly sorry, it will cost her $X to change colors at this point.

She sounds a little crazy, to be honest.

For a 100 hours of labour, I would say $XXX.