Author Topic: Correct action or Over reaction?  (Read 15502 times)

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Two Ravens

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Re: Correct action or Over reaction?
« Reply #15 on: June 24, 2013, 01:05:09 PM »
While I think you might have been a bit over the top with your phrasing, I don't think you overreacted (and I don't have kids).  And the fact that the driver didn't even stop for regular customers indicates to me that he knew he screwed up, big time.

Or that he just wanted to get far away from the crazy lady shouting abuse at him...

DaDancingPsych

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Re: Correct action or Over reaction?
« Reply #16 on: June 24, 2013, 01:06:29 PM »
I am torn. The time that the OP has put into describing the driver bothers me. I grew up knowing someone who could fit that description, yet he was the sorta guy who would have protected children from shady characters. (If things came down to it, he would have done something not e-Hell approved to protect his neighbors.) Plus, I can't tell you how many times I have watched the news and thought "That criminal looks like such a nice guy! I would have never thought he could harm children!!!" Long story short, appearance means nothing.

On the other hand, I have never known the ice cream men to call out to children like that. Usually they drive slowly looking for customers who signal them. I would not appreciate someone soliciting my daughter like that.

I wonder if the OP's daughter somehow unintentionally signaled to the driver. Maybe she was doing a friendly wave and he wasn't sure if that meant that she wanted to purchase???

Outdoor Girl

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Re: Correct action or Over reaction?
« Reply #17 on: June 24, 2013, 01:06:54 PM »
While I think you might have been a bit over the top with your phrasing, I don't think you overreacted (and I don't have kids).  And the fact that the driver didn't even stop for regular customers indicates to me that he knew he screwed up, big time.

Or that he just wanted to get far away from the crazy lady shouting abuse at him...

Nothing the OP said was abusive.  She didn't swear at him; she didn't call him a low life.
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Amava

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Re: Correct action or Over reaction?
« Reply #18 on: June 24, 2013, 01:07:20 PM »
Let me rephrase to make sure I have the situation correct.

A small girl is standing on her front porch, at least partially out of sight, with no adult around that the man driving the ice cream truck can see.  So he stops and asks said young girl, who likely doesn't have any money of her own, if she wants ice cream.

While I think you might have been a bit over the top with your phrasing, I don't think you overreacted (and I don't have kids).  And the fact that the driver didn't even stop for regular customers indicates to me that he knew he screwed up, big time.

What? Whenever the icecream truck passed through my street, I was either given money to get icecream, or told to go flag him down while mom fetched money for icecream.
It is VERY normal for a child to be on her own and stand there to stop the icecream truck.

And why he drove off quickly and didn't stop for other customers? I would have reacted that way, maybe, if I were him. He was probably shocked. I know I am.

NyaChan

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Re: Correct action or Over reaction?
« Reply #19 on: June 24, 2013, 01:12:49 PM »
Let me rephrase to make sure I have the situation correct.

A small girl is standing on her front porch, at least partially out of sight, with no adult around that the man driving the ice cream truck can see.  So he stops and asks said young girl, who likely doesn't have any money of her own, if she wants ice cream.

While I think you might have been a bit over the top with your phrasing, I don't think you overreacted (and I don't have kids).  And the fact that the driver didn't even stop for regular customers indicates to me that he knew he screwed up, big time.

What? Whenever the icecream truck passed through my street, I was either given money to get icecream, or told to go flag him down while mom fetched money for icecream.
It is VERY normal for a child to be on her own and stand there to stop the icecream truck.

And why he drove off quickly and didn't stop for other customers? I would have reacted that way, maybe, if I were him. He was probably shocked. I know I am.

Yeah SOP in my neighborhood was that kids would be outside, they see the truck and run to parent to ask for money.  Seems like there wasn't much business for him in this neighborhood, and he calls out to a kid to see if she is interested.  Now if he was calling her to come to him or offering free ice cream to her, that would be another thing, but the extent of the interaction up until the point where OP started yelling at him did not indicate anything out of the ordinary.

Outdoor Girl

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Re: Correct action or Over reaction?
« Reply #20 on: June 24, 2013, 01:14:13 PM »
If the OP had been in sight, I would agree with you.  The fact that DD was there, apparently by herself, is what sends this into creepy territory for me.
I have CDO.  It is like OCD but with the letters in alphabetical order, as they should be.
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Amava

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Re: Correct action or Over reaction?
« Reply #21 on: June 24, 2013, 01:16:16 PM »
If the OP had been in sight, I would agree with you.  The fact that DD was there, apparently by herself, is what sends this into creepy territory for me.
But... I just explained that his assumption was probably that the OP was still in the house fetching money, while the daughter flagged him down.

JoieGirl7

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Re: Correct action or Over reaction?
« Reply #22 on: June 24, 2013, 01:16:39 PM »
I don't think you overreacted at all.

Hs job may be to sell ice cream, but he is in your neighborhood doing it.  That's very different from being in a store doing it.  And the annoying music alerts people that the truck is there.  No need to yell to children on their porches.
 
This is a child on her own property and the stranger in the ice cream truck should not be talking to her at all.  He has no business talking to her!

His behavior was hinky and rude.

Shoo

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Re: Correct action or Over reaction?
« Reply #23 on: June 24, 2013, 01:19:59 PM »
There are two ice cream trucks that visit my neighborhood.  One is a beat up, dirty old van with the decals on the side peeling off and the music it plays is of the scary "warped" variety.  I have never let my daughter go NEAR that ice cream truck.  It just creeps me out.  The other truck is one of those nice, white, Jeep-type Good Humor type trucks.  Sparkling clean and professional looking.  That is the truck I let my daughter buy ice cream from.

I think you may have over-reacted a little bit in how you responded, but I don't fault you for not wanting your daughter to patronize that truck.

JoieGirl7

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Re: Correct action or Over reaction?
« Reply #24 on: June 24, 2013, 01:21:25 PM »
If the OP had been in sight, I would agree with you.  The fact that DD was there, apparently by herself, is what sends this into creepy territory for me.
But... I just explained that his assumption was probably that the OP was still in the house fetching money, while the daughter flagged him down.

But, she wasn't flagging him down.  She was just standing on her porch.  There was no basis for him to make that assumption.

Elessarion

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Re: Correct action or Over reaction?
« Reply #25 on: June 24, 2013, 01:23:38 PM »
If the OP had been in sight, I would agree with you.  The fact that DD was there, apparently by herself, is what sends this into creepy territory for me.
But... I just explained that his assumption was probably that the OP was still in the house fetching money, while the daughter flagged him down.

But, she wasn't flagging him down.  She was just standing on her porch.  There was no basis for him to make that assumption.

Hence why he asked.

TurtleDove

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Re: Correct action or Over reaction?
« Reply #26 on: June 24, 2013, 01:24:23 PM »
I yelled "Why would you ask my child that?  She didn't wave to you and she is on her porch, not on the sidewalk waiting for you !  Don't you EVER stop near my house again!" 

Massive overreaction.  I am a bit shocked, actually.

TootsNYC

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Re: Correct action or Over reaction?
« Reply #27 on: June 24, 2013, 01:24:41 PM »
If the OP had been in sight, I would agree with you.  The fact that DD was there, apparently by herself, is what sends this into creepy territory for me.
But... I just explained that his assumption was probably that the OP was still in the house fetching money, while the daughter flagged him down.

Or that the kid might change her mind, and go into the house to get money.

in fact, that argues that he was probably not trying anything creepy. He *knew* that a grownup would have to be present for the transaction, bcs the grownup has the money.

But the *kid* often has the "buying decision"--or at least *starts* the buying decision. The kid says, "hey, Mom/Dad, can I have ice cream?"

And if the was looking at the street (and the truck, which she surely could hear), maybe he thinks she's teetering on the verge (ice cream? Maybe?), and he thinks that if he calls out to her, she'll decide to go ask the parent who is surely indoors.


Sharnita

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Re: Correct action or Over reaction?
« Reply #28 on: June 24, 2013, 01:25:36 PM »
Huge overreaction.  While you are looking at him and seeing "stereotypical pothead" I hope neighbors are not looking at your family and judging as harshly.

perpetua

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Re: Correct action or Over reaction?
« Reply #29 on: June 24, 2013, 01:26:16 PM »
I yelled "Why would you ask my child that?  She didn't wave to you and she is on her porch, not on the sidewalk waiting for you !  Don't you EVER stop near my house again!" 

Massive overreaction.  I am a bit shocked, actually.

Me too. I'm also shocked at the judgementalness (not a word but I can't think of the right one) about these peoples' intentions based purely on appearance. Heck, the guys are ice cream sellers, it's not like they're earning much money; perhaps that's why their clothes are ill-fitting?!