Author Topic: When Is It Okay To Call Out A Rude Person? Ever?  (Read 5352 times)

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kherbert05

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Re: When Is It Okay To Call Out A Rude Person? Ever?
« Reply #15 on: June 24, 2013, 09:39:45 PM »
In this case for you and your cousin looking the person up and down - Icy somewhat condescending stare (think pro league mean girl look that says who let this trash in here) turn heal and leave.


I think the bystanders' murmmers were great. If you had been a bystander and the woman continued and Icy - excuse me some of us are going back to finish our meals so stop. Followed by no really stop, no really stop, said in a combination icy mean girl with a hint of fed up teacher.


I think some types of rude behavior scream out to be called out - because people are being hurt. I will not stand by and let someone verbally abuse another person. To many people stood by and let me be bullied. I won't be that person.
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petal

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Re: When Is It Okay To Call Out A Rude Person? Ever?
« Reply #16 on: June 25, 2013, 06:03:08 AM »
its a toilet, its not supposed to smell like sunshine and daisies.   


the woman was rude.  i think i might have had a couple of things to say  but nothing really appropriate for an etiquette board

Winterlight

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Re: When Is It Okay To Call Out A Rude Person? Ever?
« Reply #17 on: June 25, 2013, 11:50:01 AM »
I vote for an icy stare and then ignoring her. I don't engage with rude perfect strangers- they've just proven how imperfect they are, and they may well get even stranger!
If wisdom’s ways you wisely seek,
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To whom you speak,
Of whom you speak,
And how, and when, and where.
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scotcat60

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Re: When Is It Okay To Call Out A Rude Person? Ever?
« Reply #18 on: June 25, 2013, 02:56:45 PM »
This reminds me of an article by Cornelia Otis Skinner, who said she had a freind called Maybelle, ("of whom it could be said she was so honest it hurt") who looked at Cornelia one day when they were wearing swimming costumes and said "Goodness your chest is bony, it looks just like the slats of a Venetian blind"

I'm with the icy glare of death, and walk away.


TylerBelle

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Re: When Is It Okay To Call Out A Rude Person? Ever?
« Reply #19 on: June 25, 2013, 03:30:03 PM »
I know as mentioned that it isn't good to engage the crazy, but sometimes there's the urge to return with the crazy yourself. Such as for this instance, a dream reply would be something like, (while leaning a little towards the woman and audibly sniffing), "Oh, you smell nice. We all should follow that example. Well, tootles!" And beat it out of there.

Seriously, I doubt I'd know what to say to something as what was said to your cousin. The icy glare and moving on is a good idea. I'm glad you received a back up of sorts by the others there.
Always be on the lookout for wonder. --E.B. White

Jones

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Re: When Is It Okay To Call Out A Rude Person? Ever?
« Reply #20 on: June 25, 2013, 03:44:23 PM »
My first thought was, well, at least Cousin quietly expelled waste where it belonged, rather than loudly claiming someone else had left the smell...but saying such to Crazy Lady would have engaged the crazy.

Coralreef

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Re: When Is It Okay To Call Out A Rude Person? Ever?
« Reply #21 on: June 25, 2013, 04:48:17 PM »
This is the type of situation where a spray bottle of water should be used (in my dream world anyway).  Some people should be treated like badly behaved pets. 

However, yeah, don't engage the crazy and perfect that icy stare. 


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Danika

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Re: When Is It Okay To Call Out A Rude Person? Ever?
« Reply #22 on: June 25, 2013, 07:36:55 PM »
In reality, I probably would have answered something like "Excuse me. What the $%&#!"

But I think a better answer would be "Where do you think you are? The perfume shop?"

gellchom

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Re: When Is It Okay To Call Out A Rude Person? Ever?
« Reply #23 on: June 26, 2013, 07:19:45 PM »
I have to agree that a blank, confused stare at most is usually second best to doing nothing.  If you're in a situation, like a conversation, where it seems to be expected that you will say something, the eHell recommended quiet "... Wow." is good.

Exception: as others have noted, if someone is being hurt or bullied and you can stop it, or if someone else has been targeted by a bigoted remark that needs to be addressed -- but even then, as calmly and politely as possible (you want to end the situation on a better note, not letting the cruelty be the last word, but you do want to END it, not ramp it up). 

In my experience, when someone says or does something so utterly over the top as this -- like, it takes a moment to register in your own mind, "Wow, she really did say that!" -- it's very often someone with dementia or some other psychiatric problem.  No point in confronting someone like that.


CrazyDaffodilLady

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Re: When Is It Okay To Call Out A Rude Person? Ever?
« Reply #24 on: June 26, 2013, 07:23:03 PM »
This is one of those stories that becomes funnier as time goes by and provides continuing entertainment as you ponder the perfect response.

My current suggestion: "Asparagus?  No, I believe it was a Brussel sprouts casserole.  Would you like the recipe?"
It takes two people to play tug of war. If you don't want to play, don't pick up the rope.

gramma dishes

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Re: When Is It Okay To Call Out A Rude Person? Ever?
« Reply #25 on: June 26, 2013, 10:46:35 PM »
I think all the other ladies comments were all that were needed.  At least you and your friend know that everyone in the entire area knew she was totally out of line.

"Brain to mouth filter still at the shop?"

Marbles

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Re: When Is It Okay To Call Out A Rude Person? Ever?
« Reply #26 on: June 27, 2013, 12:45:22 AM »
A former colleague used to say "what's wrong with you?" when affronted. It isn't the best response, but I can see it coming out of my mouth on such an occasion.

Yentush

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Re: When Is It Okay To Call Out A Rude Person? Ever?
« Reply #27 on: June 27, 2013, 07:13:55 AM »
Actually, that smell is the excrement coming out of your nasty mouth.  Have a nice day.

Danika

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Re: When Is It Okay To Call Out A Rude Person? Ever?
« Reply #28 on: June 27, 2013, 02:16:49 PM »
Is it possible the woman was drunk? I can see a very inebriated person thinking out loud and saying something like that. In that case, it was best to ignore her and walk away.

TootsNYC

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Re: When Is It Okay To Call Out A Rude Person? Ever?
« Reply #29 on: June 28, 2013, 05:56:04 PM »
The best, most devastating response is to laugh at her.

In that "we're the cool girls and you aren't" way.

Or, if you're the cool grownup, you smile indulgently and patronizingly.