Author Topic: Hostess gift overkill?  (Read 2125 times)

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postalslave

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Hostess gift overkill?
« on: June 27, 2013, 09:48:23 AM »
My boyfriends family invited me to their cottage last month. This was the first time I had met any of them. I brought a hostess gift for them that was well received (I think they were rather shocked to receive it to be honest).

I am again invited to their cottage this weekend, I would like to bring them something (I really like gifting and truly do enjoy their company and hospitality) but I'm concerned they may take it as overkill or weird? Like, why does this girl keep on bringing us stuff when no one else does..?

BG- Last time I gave them a box of high end chocolates and a "Grow your own Chives" kit (along the lines of this : http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/31bh97WmxEL.jpg but in a bamboo pot). This time I was thinking possibly a baked good (I make amazing shortbread I'm told) wrapped up in a pretty way. Possibly something else?

So question - What would you think of this? Overkill?

For the Mom's - how would you react to this? My boyfriend and I are very serious, I love him and his family to bits and really want to make sure I have a good relationship with them.

Outdoor Girl

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Re: Hostess gift overkill?
« Reply #1 on: June 27, 2013, 09:54:27 AM »
I think a food gift to share is perfect.  More of a providing a share of the food for the weekend vibe than a hostess gift vibe.  I wouldn't worry about wrapping it up in a pretty way - sort of down play the gift thing.
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PlainJane

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Re: Hostess gift overkill?
« Reply #2 on: June 27, 2013, 09:56:12 AM »
I think a food gift to share is perfect.  More of a providing a share of the food for the weekend vibe than a hostess gift vibe.  I wouldn't worry about wrapping it up in a pretty way - sort of down play the gift thing.

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Thipu1

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Re: Hostess gift overkill?
« Reply #3 on: June 27, 2013, 09:57:48 AM »
I wouldn't think that a gift of home-made shortbread would be considered overkill.

You like these people and you've been invited back for a second visit.  That's a pretty good indication that they like you in return. You just may be the best young lady their son ever brought home.

    Bring the shortbread, make friendly conversation and offer to help with the dishes. You can't go wrong with that.


lowspark

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Re: Hostess gift overkill?
« Reply #4 on: June 27, 2013, 10:01:58 AM »
I agree. Just the shortbread (or whatever food to share type item) would be perfect. Speaking as mom and a hostess, I'd much prefer to receive consumable gifts anyway so that we can all share it, and that it's gone (no more clutter) by the end of the weekend.

postalslave

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Re: Hostess gift overkill?
« Reply #5 on: June 27, 2013, 10:23:51 AM »
Thanks for the replies everyone! I will carry on with my sharable food plan :)

Shoo

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Re: Hostess gift overkill?
« Reply #6 on: June 27, 2013, 11:03:46 AM »
I like the idea of taking food.  But I don't think you should get too fancy wrapping it up.  I think you should take it on a disposable plate, with some plastic wrap over it, as if you were going to a picnic.  That makes it look more "share-able" I think.  Like you are contributing to the weekend, and not bringing a "gift."  Making it look like a gift is a bit too formal, IMO.  You've already done that -- now just be a participant.

Shabooty

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Re: Hostess gift overkill?
« Reply #7 on: June 27, 2013, 11:52:47 AM »
Postalsave, You can be a guest at my house anytime.  :) I'm a firm believer of never showing up empty handed.

TootsNYC

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Re: Hostess gift overkill?
« Reply #8 on: June 27, 2013, 11:55:04 AM »
I think you should bring something that is more a contribution and less a gift.

You may love gifting, but you don't really want to make them uncomfortable, right?

So bring the food, but don't wrap it.

Winterlight

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Re: Hostess gift overkill?
« Reply #9 on: June 27, 2013, 11:56:27 AM »
As someone who has great difficulty going to other people's homes without a gift- usually food- I am all for the shortbread. And yes, I would bring it on a disposable plate- maybe wrap it in colorful cellophane?
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rose red

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Re: Hostess gift overkill?
« Reply #10 on: June 27, 2013, 12:00:13 PM »
I think it's very nice and if they were shocked, I bet it was pleasantly so.  For a second trip, cookies are definitely not pushy or overkill. 

The Wild One, Forever

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Re: Hostess gift overkill?
« Reply #11 on: June 27, 2013, 12:02:10 PM »
As the mother of a young son, (who just started dating his first little girlfriend!), I would find your gifts to be utterly charming, particularly the baked goods.  Giving hostess gifts is a sign of good raising, and I agree that you are probably rapidly becoming their favorite!    ;D
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peaches

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Re: Hostess gift overkill?
« Reply #12 on: June 27, 2013, 12:24:39 PM »
A gift of homemade food wouldn't be overkill at all, just a very thoughtful gesture.

And shortbread? Yummmm!

bopper

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Re: Hostess gift overkill?
« Reply #13 on: June 27, 2013, 01:26:20 PM »
I agree that bringing food to share is thoughtful.

cwm

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Re: Hostess gift overkill?
« Reply #14 on: June 27, 2013, 03:14:08 PM »
I'm all in favor of hostess gifts. If you think it'll be overkill to wrap it up pretty, then don't. I've been known to bring cookies in a ziploc bag for people before, and it really opens it up to sharing with everyone. Different vibe than a hostess gift, but generous nonetheless.