Which is probably true on one point, I should have at least called her back to say "No. That isn't possible."
But I'm wondering if I am the person who is really at fault?
Confusing BG: The person I'm talking about is BFbob's mother (Linda) . . . BFbob is my DD#2's BF (they've been dating
for over a year.) I've mentioned Linda in older, previous posts calling her BF#1mom back when my DD#1 was dating
her other son, BF#1. (DD#1 and BF#1 broke up over 6 months ago, but they are still very close friends.) So I've known Linda and her family for 7+ years. I've been to Linda's place for (extended)family gatherings and she's been to mine for the same type of occasions.
Linda is a very gregarious type of person. Her personality is overpowering in many ways. I can only take Linda in small doses (party gathering where I can mingle with other guests.) We have gone out together, just us girls, and I've had wonderful fun times with her . . . bar hopping . . . yes, I still enjoy doing that but once a month or every other month satisfies my enjoyment of that type of evening. I just can't do that every weekend./endBG.
Back to my question . . . Back in May, the DDs had their annual Birthday dinners of their choice (two nights out, their Bdays are one day apart.) They are allowed to bring 2 guests for each of their Bday dinners.
It just so happened that for DD#2's bday, she invited BFbob and exBF#1 (so, both of Linda's sons.)
As we were getting ready to walk out the door, the phone rang. I didn't pick up, but listened to the message (land-line answering machine) from Linda. Everybody heard the message. I went to pick up the phone and was met with "Nooooo! Don't answer!" Both of her sons said "She's fishing for an invitation." DD#2 said "I really don't want her to come to dinner with us."
The next day, DD#1's Bday dinner, 2 of her college friends were invited. As we were getting ready, Linda called again . . . "Hey! I have gifts for the DDs, wondering what's going on. I really want to get together with you all to celebrate.
DD#1 said "Please don't call her back. If she comes to dinner with us it's going to be all about her. You know how she is."
So, I never called her back about the bday parties. I figured, at this point, it would be up to the DDs to contact Linda since it was their parties that Linda was calling about.
I know that both of my DDs have been at her house several times since their Bdays.
A couple of weeks later I called Linda to see if she wanted to get together. No mention of the Bdays was made by either of us. We made plans for the next Friday night. She called me about an hour before we were suppose to go out and said "I completely forgot I had made plans with someone else for tonight." I said "No problem." She said "I'll call you next week. Is next Friday good for you?" I said "Yes, call me during the week so we can make firm plans."
Linda never called me back. No biggie, in my book.
So it's been over a month since I've talked to her.
Last Sunday DD#2 told me that I should call Linda. "She really misses you and wants to get together with you. She thinks that you're avoiding her because you didn't call her back about the Bday dinners."
So, now I'm really feeling like I'm the bad guy.
Did I really screw up, etiquette-wise, by not calling Linda back about the Bday dinners?
Am I the bad guy? Or does the onus fall on my DDs?