Author Topic: more questions about thank you notes...  (Read 604 times)

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lellah

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more questions about thank you notes...
« on: July 01, 2013, 11:16:26 PM »
I'm resolutely pro thank you note.  I send them the same day I get a gift, lest the ghost of my totally alive mother haunt me.  But I'm wondering about alternative acknowledgements, especially among the youngs. 

For instance, do you suppose the friend who recently gave me a lovely serving dish would feel as thanked by an emailed picture of the serving dish in use accompanied by a cheerful "loving it! thanks so much for thinking of me. text me a time next week you'd be free to come over for coffee and some cookies off of mah new plate?"  I guess my point is, is the format of the thanks as important as the thoughtfulness or sincerity of the thanks?

I'm not trying to be judgmental or anything, but haven't you gotten "handwritten" thank yous that seem dashed off to an extent that a thoughtful sms would seem preferable?  Like this trend of photo thank you cards from newlyweds that leave just enough writing space for a scrawled "thanks! Jim & Linda"

peaches

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Re: more questions about thank you notes...
« Reply #1 on: July 01, 2013, 11:49:31 PM »
I think your idea is great! I would find it perfectly acceptable.

Technology can be used in thoughtful ways, or thoughtless ones.

I appreciate acknowledgement of a gift. I'm not so wrapped up in the manner of communication.

Amongst our family and friends, thank you's for wedding gifts have been handwritten. That has not changed over the years. For other gifts, face-to-face thanks, phone call, email, or a note might be used. That's all fine with me.

Occasionally, we get no response to a gift. That is the one thing that is unpardonable IMO (excepting illness or incapacity).

« Last Edit: July 02, 2013, 08:23:50 AM by peaches »

camlan

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Re: more questions about thank you notes...
« Reply #2 on: July 02, 2013, 12:21:48 AM »
I think the email with the picture and the invitation is a perfect thank you.

As a 50-something fuddy-duddy I think the important thing is to express your thanks. Handwritten note, typed letter, email, phone call, Face Time--it's all good. Where I draw the line is a texted thank you, because texts are so short that it's hard to say much, and text speak is just a tad too informal.

Now, the problem with an email is that you might send it to someone who insists on the handwritten note. While I think this will eventually change, to some extent, it's a know your audience type of thing. I think we're going to have a few years of affronted recipients of emailed thank-yous holding the smelling salts and exclaiming, "My dear, he sent an email instead of writing. No more birthday presents for him!"

But I hope that as time renders the new technologies more familiar, people will just appreciate getting thanked, no matter how those thanks are sent.
Nothing is impossible, the word itself says, “I’m possible!” –Audrey Hepburn


Bluenomi

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Re: more questions about thank you notes...
« Reply #3 on: July 02, 2013, 12:25:27 AM »
I think it is partly a know your audience issue. I'd send a friend a thank you email but I'd send my Grandma a hand written letter.

TootsNYC

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Re: more questions about thank you notes...
« Reply #4 on: July 02, 2013, 12:57:05 AM »
Me, I'd far rather have a phone call, even, than the texted picture.

But in general, I do agree that some written thank-you notes can seem pretty perfunctory, and that modern communications technology has a very definite place in the thank-you-note world.