Author Topic: Is it rude to quit a miserable activity midway through?  (Read 4416 times)

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Thipu1

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Re: Is it rude to quit a miserable activity midway through?
« Reply #30 on: July 05, 2013, 10:50:53 AM »
When we travel or take vacation with others, it's always established that some things will be done as a group and others will be done at will. 

We almost always have dinner together and plan the activities for the next day.  Since we've often done different things, these conversations are both useful and fun.

     Jane & Mike went to Ostia Antiqua and enjoyed it.  We might decide to go there the following day.  We had a lovely Lunch in Trastevere.  The place sounds good to Jane & Mike.  They may lunch there tomorrow. 

When travelers don't do everything in lock-step, the interesting stories are multiplied and everyone has more fun. 

Yvaine

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Re: Is it rude to quit a miserable activity midway through?
« Reply #31 on: July 05, 2013, 10:54:52 AM »
I have bad memories of being bullied into doing things I didn't want to do, in order not to spoil the enjoyment for everyone else cuz in my family back in the day everyone HAD to be together! Now they've all mellowed out but I've married into a family that does this and it's so annoying.

I think if you were feeling pressure from your sisters that wouldn't have been cool (of them). But it sounds like you all respected each others' decisions. Stating your boundaries/needs and following through is not being rude.

My family was like this too! We did everything like a line of ducklings. And I was the oldest, and anything the youngest wouldn't enjoy was ruled out automatically!  >:(

Amanita

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Re: Is it rude to quit a miserable activity midway through?
« Reply #32 on: July 05, 2013, 01:40:54 PM »
I remember getting some flack here a while ago, when a friend and I were planning a trip together- I love high up places, and my friend is somewhat acrophobic.
Somebody said that they would be VERY offended at the idea of splitting up when traveling with somebody, and would have bad things to say to and about the person who proposed splitting up.

But I'm with most of the posters here- I think it's better to split up sometimes. If one person is tired, sick, or otherwise not well, there should be no hard feelings if they want to go back to the hotel early and rest for a while, while the rest of the group continues on. If I were part of that group, I would want to be sure that the person bowing out was comfortable enough navigating to get back to the hotel safely, or could grab a taxi. I wouldn't want my sick or tired friend to get lost after all!
Splitting up also allows people with different interests to both be satisfied without boring the other person. Say one person is a comic or gaming geek, the other loves cookware. In that case, if they insist on sticking together, one person is going to be enthusiastically browsing a store specializing in their interest, while the other person is bored silly. So perhaps splitting up is a good way to preserve the sanity of both partners.
Having to do everything together like a line of ducks when traveling would annoy me too!

rose red

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Re: Is it rude to quit a miserable activity midway through?
« Reply #33 on: July 05, 2013, 03:47:50 PM »
As the person whose companion decided to stay at the hotel, I'd say you're fine.  In my friend's case, the shoes that were so comfortable around the house and running errands simply weren't up to hours of sightseeing.  I wasn't happy to spend the rest of the day watching TV in the hotel.  So she stayed, and I went back out on a ghost tour.

I remember once when my feet started to swell and bleed a bit.  I could force myself to make it back to the hotel, but no way can I keep sightseeing.  The others continued and later brought back flip flops from a drug store they passed ;D.  No reason anyone can't keep having a good time without one or more members of the party.

Cami

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Re: Is it rude to quit a miserable activity midway through?
« Reply #34 on: July 05, 2013, 04:10:26 PM »
I have bad memories of being bullied into doing things I didn't want to do, in order not to spoil the enjoyment for everyone else cuz in my family back in the day everyone HAD to be together! Now they've all mellowed out but I've married into a family that does this and it's so annoying.

I think if you were feeling pressure from your sisters that wouldn't have been cool (of them). But it sounds like you all respected each others' decisions. Stating your boundaries/needs and following through is not being rude.

My family was like this too! We did everything like a line of ducklings. And I was the oldest, and anything the youngest wouldn't enjoy was ruled out automatically!  >:(
Ack, me too. I was resentful for years that when we finally got to Disney World, we couldn't go on half of the rides because my youngest sister was either too small or too scared to go on them. (That was the only time we went to Disney World as a family and in the rest of my childhood we only went to another amusement park one time, so being denied those rides was not a "Get over it, you can do it next time" situation.) My dd credits that denial as the reason why Teacups is my favorite ride at Disney World -- deferred gratification.