General Etiquette > Family and Children
SIL's 2nd Baby Shower - Am I just cranky? (little long, sorry)
jibby:
MIL visited last night (Saturday) and informed me that there is a baby shower for SIL (she's due this month) next Sunday. Here are the facts and don't hold back; tell me if I'm wrong to be annoyed.
*One week's notice of the shower
*No actual invitation sent
*SIL's second baby (same sex); other child is 16 months old
*SIL has a history of not sending thank-you notes
*SIL was just married in June (more gifts)
*Shower hosted by SIL's DH's Mother (who lives with them and pays many expenses for the child they already have)
*I use the term "hosted" lightly, as I was also told I am supposed to call the Hostess to find out what else I should bring
*Hostess (DH's Mother) suggested (through SIL's Mother) diapers and necessities for gifts, as they "already have plenty of cute little clothes" and "could really use the essentials".
I honestly don't see a window of time this week for me to get out and buy something for this blatant gift-grab. Next Saturday is out because my parents will be visiting all day (a rare and happy occurrence). I just did my errands yesterday (Saturday) morning and could have at least looked for some small items at Target (it's a chore to get there). Due to my work/class schedule, my choices are now WalMart or an overpriced neighborhood baby boutique.
I was planning to buy a small cute gift for the new baby at the end of the month anyway, but it is not in the budget for this week. I really don't want to show up with a ten-dollar gift or just a card, but that is about where I'm at right now. And I am just irritated that they have money for partying and CD's, but I'm being directed to buy essentials. DH and I have been sacrificing and saving like maniacs to have a baby of our own this year (Shhh - you're the only people I've told!) and I guess I just feel resentful. (Is that correct? I'm paranoid now, after reading the grammar thread. :-\)
In all fairness, I am still irritated because after they begged us to go ahead with our New Year's Eve party, they only showed up for an hour, then tried to get all of us to leave for a club. Never mind that my other SIL is under 21 and there was no way she could get in the club. They were also upset that no one wanted to partake in a substance they had brought in to our house. (I assume they brought it in. I never did see it, but they asked if it was wanted.) Also, because I know that SIL's DH eats a *lot* of food, I bought quite a bit extra. I wasted food and money.
Sorry this is so long. If you've read this far, thank you. Do I need to just get over it, put on a happy face and take the blasted diapers?
Edited to add: My MIL told me that SIL's MIL directed her to invite me.
Hawkwatcher:
First, are you actually sure that you are invited? Just because your MIL has assumed that you are invited does not mean that your SIL or her MIL have actually plan on inviting you. You may want to wait until one of these individuals calls you before you do anything. After all, you do not want to call your SIL's MIL and sound like you are fishing for an invitation.
jibby:
My MIL was told by SIL's MIL to invite me (at least, according to my MIL). Sorry I left that out - I'll edit my original post.
Although I suppose I could claim that without an official invitation, I wasn't sure if I was really invited. Nah, I guess that would be passive-aggressive...
Chocolate Cake:
I think you've reasonably established a basis for skipping the shower. Send a card instead. When the baby is born schedule a couple of evenings when you can bring dinner to the family.
scooter2071:
Yeah, do not feel obligated to go. Do as you planned before you were invited to the shower.
I was handed an invite to a shower for Feb. at a family reunion last weekend, for a cousin of my husband's I have never spoken to before in my life...she seems nice enough but c'mon! Shes throwing the shower for herself, too.
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