Author Topic: How to decline an invitation from a colleague to get together “sometime soon?”  (Read 3704 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

TootsNYC

  • A Pillar of the Forum
  • *****
  • Posts: 30648
Next time, don't tack on the "right now."

Because there may very likely be a next time. Or, of course, there may not.

HOWEVER, if there *is* a next time, then what's going on it that he's probing for how far he has to pursue before you say yes.

The blunter and more direct you get, the clearer the message that he won't ever get there. So if you need to be blunt, don't feel bad about it.

Feel free to say, "I'm not interested in pursuing a friendship with you."

chicajojobe

  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 332
First of all, just because he's older than you and married does not necessarily mean he's not hitting on you. When I worked as a cashier I was hit on by a man while his wife was across the store still shopping.

I'm now in graduate school so I can sympathize with the situation you're in. Some fields can be very small worlds, so basically you need to decide how being or not being in this guy's good graces might affect your future. If you feel like you can't burn bridges without endangering yourself, then I'd just make sure that any times you do get together with him you arrange not to be alone. Invite another colleague along as a buffer, of sorts.
If, however, you feel you can be clear that you don't want to see him socially without professional repercussions then do so.




CaffeineKatie

  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 352
Re: How to decline an invitation from a colleague to get together
« Reply #17 on: July 04, 2013, 04:21:06 PM »
Got to say, I like doodlemor's suggestion  >:D  And oh yeah, he's hitting on you and he knows it--mentoring, ha!

SuperMartianRobotGirl

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 1121
I think he is hitting on you and I think you should say you'll call his wife and set up a time with her. Edited to add, so you can "all get together" sometimes.