Author Topic: You are scared? Ha ha! Facebook.  (Read 4546 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

alis

  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 239
Re: You are scared? Ha ha! Facebook.
« Reply #15 on: July 05, 2013, 01:38:48 PM »
I agree, I don't think she was mocking, I think she just didn't realize how upset the Facebook OP was. I thought it was rather clear as she stated she was quite worried and asked if she should start calling hospitals and how he's never done this before...

Foot-in-mouth disease, I suppose. Not the first time I've read cringe-worthy advice from her so I think it's just a matter of perception, not ill-intended.

Mrs. Tilney

  • Jr. Member
  • *
  • Posts: 38
Re: You are scared? Ha ha! Facebook.
« Reply #16 on: July 05, 2013, 03:31:34 PM »
Not long ago, my brother-in-law posted a comment on FB about not being able to find my sister and their kids. It was the middle of the afternoon, and I had gotten a text from my sister earlier with a picture of the kids and some cookies they had all made with cookie cutters I had sent, and I replied with a comment like, "But when you find them, there will be cookies!" (It turns out they were at a neighbor's house and my sister had left her phone off.) (And my BIL did get cookies at the end of it.) I hope I didn't come off as insensitive; I certainly wasn't trying to be. I understand that this CAN mean that something tragic has happened and that people certainly worry; however, most of the time, it's nothing.

siamesecat2965

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 8229
Re: You are scared? Ha ha! Facebook.
« Reply #17 on: July 05, 2013, 03:32:58 PM »
One of my close friends only found out her husband was in the ICU because he didn't show up and she had to start calling hospitals.  (He was in a coma for several months and still has significant brain injury - motorcycle accident.)  I wouldn't find that "joke" funny at all.

Something similar happened to a grad school classmate, who had just recently gotten married. I don't recall the details, but he had a motorcycle accident, and head and other injuries, and due to confusion over his name/her name, and other factors, it was quite some time before they were able to identify him and find her.

So i think its rude. While I might think to myself, oh, she's totally overreacting, etc. I'd never ever say or post anything publicly.

Amava

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 4747
Re: You are scared? Ha ha! Facebook.
« Reply #18 on: July 05, 2013, 03:46:51 PM »
At first I thought "super rude". Then I read some other posters' perspective and maybe it wasn't meant as badly as it came out...

I think I will call it a "foot in keyboard moment".

Yvaine

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 8368
Re: You are scared? Ha ha! Facebook.
« Reply #19 on: July 05, 2013, 03:48:06 PM »
I agree, I don't think she was mocking, I think she just didn't realize how upset the Facebook OP was. I thought it was rather clear as she stated she was quite worried and asked if she should start calling hospitals and how he's never done this before...

She may have thought it was hyperbole. Kind of like Ceallach suggested:

I wonder if the woman's post to her came across more as "oh no hubby's not back yet, shall I send out a search party haha" type concern rather than legitimate fear. 

Or like when I say something like "I'm going to Barnes and Noble. If I'm not back in 3 hours, send rescue dogs."

Surianne

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 10687
    • Prince ShimmerShine Moondream's Blogging Adventure
Re: You are scared? Ha ha! Facebook.
« Reply #20 on: July 05, 2013, 06:42:55 PM »
I agree, I don't think she was mocking, I think she just didn't realize how upset the Facebook OP was. I thought it was rather clear as she stated she was quite worried and asked if she should start calling hospitals and how he's never done this before...

She may have thought it was hyperbole. Kind of like Ceallach suggested:

I wonder if the woman's post to her came across more as "oh no hubby's not back yet, shall I send out a search party haha" type concern rather than legitimate fear. 

Or like when I say something like "I'm going to Barnes and Noble. If I'm not back in 3 hours, send rescue dogs."

Yes, exactly.  I say (and see) this sort of thing on Facebook rather frequently. 

AngelBarchild

  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 289
Re: You are scared? Ha ha! Facebook.
« Reply #21 on: July 06, 2013, 06:48:35 AM »
My husband was almost two hours late coming home just last week. He got held up at work and didn't have a chance to call. Everything was fine.

Twik

  • A Pillar of the Forum
  • *****
  • Posts: 27857
Re: You are scared? Ha ha! Facebook.
« Reply #22 on: July 06, 2013, 10:19:49 AM »
Well yes, most of the time, everything is fine. But there is always a small chance that things are not fine.

I wonder how the poster would feel about her post if it turned out there had been a tragedy?
My cousin's memoir of love and loneliness while raising a child with multiple disabilities will be out on Amazon soon! Know the Night, by Maria Mutch, has been called "full of hope, light, and companionship for surviving the small hours of the night."

veronaz

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 1688
Re: You are scared? Ha ha! Facebook.
« Reply #23 on: July 06, 2013, 10:40:57 AM »
While it may have been insensitive, if a person is really worried about someone's well-being they need to get off the computer and start making inquiries on the phone.  Going on Facebook asking "what should I do?" seems strange.  If faced with the possibility of a serious situation, FB isn't the place to run to, imo.
« Last Edit: July 06, 2013, 10:43:56 AM by veronaz »

MariaE

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 4311
  • So many books, so little time
Re: You are scared? Ha ha! Facebook.
« Reply #24 on: July 06, 2013, 04:29:38 PM »
While it may have been insensitive, if a person is really worried about someone's well-being they need to get off the computer and start making inquiries on the phone.  Going on Facebook asking "what should I do?" seems strange.  If faced with the possibility of a serious situation, FB isn't the place to run to, imo.

I could see myself using facebook as a barometer. I have OCD and know I tend to overreact when it comes to worst case scenarios. Posting a comment like that would be a way of asking friends "is this as off as I think it is? do I really have cause for worry, or is it just my wcs mentality acting up again?"
 
Dane by birth, Kiwi by choice

Twik

  • A Pillar of the Forum
  • *****
  • Posts: 27857
Re: You are scared? Ha ha! Facebook.
« Reply #25 on: July 06, 2013, 09:06:40 PM »
I think one of the most comforting things in an emergency (or what might become an emergency) is someone to discuss the problem with. If the only people available are on Facebook, then you use them.

I'm sure the person in the op didn't mean to be dismissive, but it sounds like they completely missed the "I'm getting scared, what should I do?" Vibe.
My cousin's memoir of love and loneliness while raising a child with multiple disabilities will be out on Amazon soon! Know the Night, by Maria Mutch, has been called "full of hope, light, and companionship for surviving the small hours of the night."

miranova

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 1537
Re: You are scared? Ha ha! Facebook.
« Reply #26 on: July 07, 2013, 05:22:16 PM »
I think it was insensitive and dismissive.  I'll stop short of calling it rude, but I don't personally think I'd be close friends with someone who had that reaction.

It could be that her worry was an overreaction, but even if so the course to take if you care about the worried person is to be reassuring, not dismissive.

It reminds me of the very few times that I've said on FB that I miss my children (I have joint custody with their dad).  If I'm feeling down enough to actually post how much I miss them, I'm really having a bad time.  Inevitably, someone will come along and say how much they wish they had a break from their own children.  It just comes across as extremely insensitive and uncaring.  I know we all need an occasional break from our children but when I'm missing them so much it hurts, that is not the time to imply that I'm just lucky to have the time alone.  Timing, people.

immadz

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 4782
Re: You are scared? Ha ha! Facebook.
« Reply #27 on: July 09, 2013, 01:04:41 PM »
I would have found her comment reassuring.


LifeOnPluto

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 6204
    • Blog
Re: You are scared? Ha ha! Facebook.
« Reply #28 on: July 09, 2013, 11:25:21 PM »
I think it was insensitive and dismissive.  I'll stop short of calling it rude, but I don't personally think I'd be close friends with someone who had that reaction.

It could be that her worry was an overreaction, but even if so the course to take if you care about the worried person is to be reassuring, not dismissive.

It reminds me of the very few times that I've said on FB that I miss my children (I have joint custody with their dad).  If I'm feeling down enough to actually post how much I miss them, I'm really having a bad time.  Inevitably, someone will come along and say how much they wish they had a break from their own children.  It just comes across as extremely insensitive and uncaring.  I know we all need an occasional break from our children but when I'm missing them so much it hurts, that is not the time to imply that I'm just lucky to have the time alone.  Timing, people.

Exactly. It's like a married person telling their single friend (who'd love to have a partner): "Oh, lucky you. I wish I was single!" It comes off as uncaring, flippant, and definitely not reassuring.

So I do think the comment the second woman made in the OP was silly and insensitive.


Allyson

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 1741
Re: You are scared? Ha ha! Facebook.
« Reply #29 on: July 10, 2013, 03:23:25 PM »
I doubt it was meant mockingly or badly. It was probably a misreading of tone, which can happen a lot on the internet.