Hostesses With The Mostest > Entertaining and Hospitality

Where to send our gift?

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We've been invited to a Wedding of the DD of a somewhat distant relation. 

We won't be attending because it's half-way across the US, it's on Labor Day Weekend and we had to ask MIL where the family relation lies.  We've already sent off our response card with regrets.

However, we do wish the HC well and want to send a monetary gift of about 200 USD.   

The problem is that the only contact information we have for them is the address on the response card.  That address is a street address for the parents of the Bride.

We'd like to know how to make out the check but we have no other contact information.  We have no telephone number.  We have no email address for anyone involved.  We don't even know if the Bride will be keeping her maiden name.  MIL has none of this contact information either. 

Would it be considered odd to write a note to the parents of the Bride and ask for guidance?

My first thought is that if you don't even know that information, and your first contact for family info (MIL) doesn't either, I personally would say I didn't know them well enough to send a gift.

But that's just me. If I really wanted to send a gift, I think I would just make it out to Bride's current name (as stated on the invitation), and send it to the address provided (her parents). Most likely she will deposit it right away so there won't be any problems with the bank.

I think you could also make the check out to both the bride and groom--"Jane Smith and John Doe"--and then either of them would be able to deposit it.

I think writing a note to ask first wouldn't be rude, but it would be a little odd, yes. It's just a lot of trouble to go through, and the bride's parents probably have a lot on their minds right now anyway if they're receiving all the RSVPs and so forth. They may not even read the note well enough to realize they should respond quickly.

Could you just make the check out to the Bride with her maiden name and send it to her parents' house? 

I know when we got married, we got checks made out to all sorts of permutations and combinations of DH's name and my name.  We did have a joint account prior to our marriage, so we just deposited all the checks there and it really didn't make a difference on how the check was made out.

I would address an envelope to the parents' house, but write the bride's name on it, and make a check out to the bride and groom. Enclose a brief "we wish you all the best etc." note as well if you like.

Just a word of caution from a former bank not put the word "and" between the names unless you are 100% sure that they have a joint account.  Otherwise, it makes it more complicated as one of the two would have to sign over the check to the other one to deposit it in an account owned by one of the two individuals. 

Using the word "or" makes things so much easier.   ;D


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