Author Topic: Where to send our gift?  (Read 1317 times)

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Thipu1

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Where to send our gift?
« on: July 09, 2013, 10:07:23 AM »
We've been invited to a Wedding of the DD of a somewhat distant relation. 

We won't be attending because it's half-way across the US, it's on Labor Day Weekend and we had to ask MIL where the family relation lies.  We've already sent off our response card with regrets.

However, we do wish the HC well and want to send a monetary gift of about 200 USD.   

The problem is that the only contact information we have for them is the address on the response card.  That address is a street address for the parents of the Bride.

We'd like to know how to make out the check but we have no other contact information.  We have no telephone number.  We have no email address for anyone involved.  We don't even know if the Bride will be keeping her maiden name.  MIL has none of this contact information either. 

Would it be considered odd to write a note to the parents of the Bride and ask for guidance?











Lynn2000

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Re: Where to send our gift?
« Reply #1 on: July 09, 2013, 10:24:45 AM »
My first thought is that if you don't even know that information, and your first contact for family info (MIL) doesn't either, I personally would say I didn't know them well enough to send a gift.

But that's just me. If I really wanted to send a gift, I think I would just make it out to Bride's current name (as stated on the invitation), and send it to the address provided (her parents). Most likely she will deposit it right away so there won't be any problems with the bank.

I think you could also make the check out to both the bride and groom--"Jane Smith and John Doe"--and then either of them would be able to deposit it.

I think writing a note to ask first wouldn't be rude, but it would be a little odd, yes. It's just a lot of trouble to go through, and the bride's parents probably have a lot on their minds right now anyway if they're receiving all the RSVPs and so forth. They may not even read the note well enough to realize they should respond quickly.
~Lynn2000

cattlekid

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Re: Where to send our gift?
« Reply #2 on: July 09, 2013, 10:28:23 AM »
Could you just make the check out to the Bride with her maiden name and send it to her parents' house? 

I know when we got married, we got checks made out to all sorts of permutations and combinations of DH's name and my name.  We did have a joint account prior to our marriage, so we just deposited all the checks there and it really didn't make a difference on how the check was made out.

Pen^2

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Re: Where to send our gift?
« Reply #3 on: July 09, 2013, 10:29:58 AM »
I would address an envelope to the parents' house, but write the bride's name on it, and make a check out to the bride and groom. Enclose a brief "we wish you all the best etc." note as well if you like.

cattlekid

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Re: Where to send our gift?
« Reply #4 on: July 09, 2013, 10:32:06 AM »
Just a word of caution from a former bank teller.....do not put the word "and" between the names unless you are 100% sure that they have a joint account.  Otherwise, it makes it more complicated as one of the two would have to sign over the check to the other one to deposit it in an account owned by one of the two individuals. 

Using the word "or" makes things so much easier.   ;D

Hmmmmm

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Re: Where to send our gift?
« Reply #5 on: July 09, 2013, 10:47:13 AM »
Could you just make the check out to the Bride with her maiden name and send it to her parents' house? 

I know when we got married, we got checks made out to all sorts of permutations and combinations of DH's name and my name.  We did have a joint account prior to our marriage, so we just deposited all the checks there and it really didn't make a difference on how the check was made out.

This. Envelope addressed to bride and groom using bride's oarents address, card adressed to bride and groom, check made out to bride and her maiden name.


Zizi-K

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Re: Where to send our gift?
« Reply #6 on: July 09, 2013, 11:02:39 AM »
Please don't make the check out to the bride and groom. I like the idea of making it out to the bride or groom, or just make it out to the bride. She's the one you (sort of) know, they're getting married, they'll figure out that it's a wedding present because of the card that it will be enclosed in, no need to make more work for the couple by making depositing the check more difficult.

This is coming from someone that had a lot of difficulty cashing wedding checks because of all the goofy ways that people addressed their checks.

Thipu1

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Re: Where to send our gift?
« Reply #7 on: July 10, 2013, 07:47:03 AM »
Thanks for the good ideas. 

We'll send the check made out to the bride and a note with our good wishes care of the Bride's parents.

We want to give a gift because the family is very convoluted and, while we know they're related, nobody's quite sure exactly how.  In cases like this, it's better to be safe than sorry.

The family is Chinese.  MIL thinks this may be a child of a cousin of Sister no. 3's second husband. You can see how things can get complicated. 
« Last Edit: July 10, 2013, 09:54:01 AM by Thipu1 »

*inviteseller

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Re: Where to send our gift?
« Reply #8 on: July 19, 2013, 07:37:49 PM »
You are a generous soul to send such a nice gift to someone who is a step relative at least 3 times removed.  I would make it out to bride with her maiden name because it takes forever to get all that changed over to her married name. 

jpcher

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Re: Where to send our gift?
« Reply #9 on: July 19, 2013, 08:04:24 PM »
We'll send the check made out to the bride and a note with our good wishes care of the Bride's parents.

Yes. Address the envelope to Bride's Name, next line C/O Bride's parents name.