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Author Topic: How would you divide the rent? UPDATE #34, #40, #75, NEW Oh! Dear! #81  (Read 24094 times)

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Re: How would you divide the rent? UPDATE #34, #40
« Reply #45 on: September 01, 2013, 06:20:28 PM »
I think Vicky needs to pay her rent or move out of the big rooms - and yes if her closet is big enough for a vanity, its an extra room.

As for your DD's room, my bedroom growing up was 6x9, so I think her 9x9 is certainly livable. Here's a cheap and great way to boost space: buy 2 or 3 brackets (like this: and a plank of wood the length of the longest wall. Measure down 1 to 1.5 feet from the ceiling and mount the shelf. Its less then $100 (easily less then $50 with no frills brackets and knotty wood). Its great for boxes, knick knacks, occasional use items etc. And its easy to to the whole perimeter of the room even.

I also had a loft bed, home made stye. Basically it was a no frills metal bed frame sans legs, securely bolted to two solid wood book shelves. In my case the shelves faced each other (faced under the bed) and the ladder was just some 2x4's bolted to the back of one - it was narrow footing but easy enough and didn't eat up floor space like and angled ladder. At various points I had a desk under the bed, a dresser under the bed, or a chair and lamp (it was my bedroom for 18+ years).

A nice bonus was it was the only room in the house with luxe wall to wall carpeting - because it was small enough my parents were able to buy a remnant super cheap.


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Re: How would you divide the rent? UPDATE #34, #40
« Reply #46 on: September 01, 2013, 06:27:42 PM »
I said "You have to live with Vicky for the next year. Is $10/month worth a happy home situation?"

Here is where I think you are doing your daughter a disservice.  Vicky has to live with THEM for the next year, and she is already trying to screw them over.  That does not bode well.  This is a time you should be teaching your daughter to have a backbone and to stand up for herself.  You're telling her to roll over to keep the peace. 

No way should your daughter back down on this.

**looking for the "agree!" button...**

So often on these boards we read about difficulties when trying to break a pattern of giving in to keep the peace. I also read (often) how our behavior teaches others how to treat us.

I think it would be best in the long run if there is a solid expectation that everyone holds up their part of already-agreed-upon arrangements.


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Re: How would you divide the rent? UPDATE #34, #40
« Reply #47 on: September 01, 2013, 06:42:57 PM »
I agree with everyone else. If one of the girls can afford it she needs to say "(Other girl) and I discussed it and we aren't able to pay your share of the rent. I can afford to pay for the larger room so I'll go ahead and take it. When will you be ready to switch?"

If neither of them can then they need to renegotiate the rent. I like the chore idea. Everyone pays an equal rent but the smallest room does the least, then the middle room, then Vicky does the most. If she's not willing to do that (or slacks after a few weeks) then revert back to whoever is willing gets the biggest room.


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Re: How would you divide the rent? UPDATE #34, #40
« Reply #48 on: September 03, 2013, 06:48:47 AM »
Sammycat and Shoo make an excellent point. If Vicky is allowed to break her contract (because I see agreeing to a certain amount of rent for a certain room as a verbal contract) the first month they are together, what else will she start to re-negotiate in her favor? Chores? Common food supplies? Never buying toilet paper?

My grandmother always said, "Begin as you mean to go on." She meant this as a teacher--don't be too easy in the beginning, because it is difficult to become harder as the school year goes on. Start off mean and hard, and ease up once the kids know what to expect.

Vicky is the one creating the uncomfortable living situation.

The choice is, DD and good roomie back down, and are upset all year at the extra money they have to pay, while Vicky, who broke the rules, is happy.

Or DD and good roomie stand their ground, pay only what they agreed on, and are happy, while Vicky goes off and sulks.

Why should Vicky be happy at your daughter's expense?
Nothing is impossible, the word itself says, “I’m possible!” –Audrey Hepburn


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Re: How would you divide the rent? UPDATE #34, #40
« Reply #49 on: September 03, 2013, 08:35:24 AM »
Agree with PPs.

Letting Vicky reneg on a deal is not a good precedent. The way she's approached changing the arrangements isn't great either - waiting till rent was due to spring it on her room mates & telling, not asking. She didn't offer to be flexible either - perhaps paying this time and buying them time to work it out together. May not bode well for the future of this group share.

Still, however it works out, a great learning opportunity for the new renters. :))


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Re: How would you divide the rent? UPDATE #34, #40
« Reply #50 on: September 03, 2013, 09:15:28 AM »
Agree with others, Vicky needs to move out of her room.  At the statement of not being able to afford over $20. your dd or her other roommate should have said, "Oh okay.  Let's switch rooms so you can better afford the rent.".  And look at her expectantly.  Hope it all works out!


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Re: How would you divide the rent? UPDATE #34, #40
« Reply #51 on: September 03, 2013, 11:17:45 AM »
It is a small amount this time and rearranging the rooms will likely cause problems for everyone who has gotten settled, so I'd ignore Vicky's ridiculous demand and pretend that she asked to borrow the $20 this month from her roommates -- as though she lost track of her finances in the excitement of moving into a new place and starting a new school year. "Vicky I'm/we're willing to loan you the difference for the amount of rent that you agreed to -- this month. There's no hard feelings right now and it is only $20 this month so I assume you should have $5.00 a week to make the payments, please sign this repayment agreement. However, it's not possible for me/us to loan you $240 over the course of a year. You will need to figure out your own finances to cover your share of the rent." I wouldn't break the amount down into smaller increments per person to make it sound like less money and therefore not important, and I wouldn't make it dependent on her buying anything extra or doing chores as it's too easy for that to get overlooked. In the real world rent payments are cash only.
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Re: How would you divide the rent? UPDATE #34, #40
« Reply #52 on: September 03, 2013, 12:17:19 PM »
If she refuses to pay more, I absolutely WOULD insist she give up the big bedroom.  Allowing her to keep it will only reinforce her bad behavior.


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Re: How would you divide the rent? UPDATE #34, #40
« Reply #53 on: September 03, 2013, 12:42:22 PM »
It's a small thing, and this may be done and over with, but I thought I'd chime in:

If I were DD, I would be very careful about my language when talking about the rooms.

The Big Room (or Room A)'s rent is XX.

The Middle Room (or Room B)'s rent is YY.

The Little Room (or Room C)'s rent is ZZ.

I'd stay away from "your room" or "my room" or "Vicky's room" because, hey, it's NOT your room unless/until you pay for it. That should be the discussion - if Vicky can't afford XX, then okay, she can't afford that room - just like they wouldn't afford an apartment with rent above their top dollar. She has two other options, pick one.

Also, $10.00 per month isn't much but $10.00 per month plus the resentment it causes can be a lot.


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Re: How would you divide the rent? UPDATE #34, #40
« Reply #54 on: September 03, 2013, 12:49:47 PM »

Now that rent is due, Vicky is firmly saying that she can't afford anything but $20 over the even share. Apparently, Vicky's parents are paying for her rent and gave her a top-dollar limit. Vicky expects DD#1 and Laura to come up with an extra $5 each.

This is the bit that bugs me.

How long has Vicky known about her parents' top-dollar limit? I'm guessing well before the apartment was decided on. There is a pretty good chance that Vicky agreed to the rent split knowing that her parents' funding was $10 per month less than she agreed to pay.

And this appears to be an on-going thing. Vicky isn't saying she's short $10 this month, but that she will be short $10 per month for the next 11 months as well.

Vicky needs to either make up the shortfall from her parents' money with her own money, or move to a different room. It's "only" $10; surely she can find that much from wherever she's getting the money for food, and clothes and new dish racks.

What would happen if neither of the other two roommates wants to pay the extra money to move into Vicky's room, should she chose to vacate it, I have no idea.
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Re: How would you divide the rent? UPDATE #34, #40
« Reply #55 on: September 03, 2013, 12:51:25 PM »
I think you should let her decide whether it's worth pushing for that money each month.  To me, it would be, because I wouldn't be living with a good roommate; I'd be living with a mooch, and that would disrupt my peace of mind as much or more than a potentially hostile roommate.  But she's living on her own now, so it's her call to make.  That's just part of growing up.


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Re: How would you divide the rent? UPDATE #34, #40
« Reply #56 on: September 03, 2013, 01:02:16 PM »
Sounds like DD has a good handle on the situation and will come to her own conclusions as to what she is and isn't willing to put up with. Isn't it great to be able to sit back and watch them make their own way in the world?


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Re: How would you divide the rent? UPDATE #34, #40
« Reply #57 on: September 03, 2013, 01:34:41 PM »
Sounds like DD has a good handle on it. Vicki is the one breaking the agreement, and right off the bat, too! Not a good sign. Unless it is a rare situation where DD and the other girl can send their checks in and let Vicki swing when her check is short, it could be difficult to force Vicki to do anything. She's already got her stuff in the big room(s) and if they only have a verbal agreement about how to split the rent...

I would be really angry at Vicki--sounds like she deliberately concealed her actual rent limit during all the discussions. She could have easily said she would take the middle room so as to meet the rent limit imposed by her parents. And if this is just an unexpected cash-flow crisis this first month, she should have come to her roommates with abject apologies, asking them to cover her for this month and she would pay them back AND make sure she set aside the proper rent for next month in advance. Does she really expect the other two girls to pay extra for the whole year, while she has the best room, in contradiction to their agreement? It makes her seem very irresponsible and untrustworthy. I hope if I was DD or the other girl we would get together and confront her about this.

And, to be honest, I wouldn't want to demonize her--I remember having my first apartment with someone, and our parents were paying for it and had no experience with what it would cost. My roommate's mom kept complaining to her that she spent too much money when it was her turn to buy groceries, for example, and my parents didn't care, so my roommate kept trying to put all kinds of expensive things she wanted on the grocery list when it was my turn, and then only buy the minimum when it was her turn.  ::) Not cool, but we were pretty dumb about a lot of stuff, I have to say.

Vicki needs to understand that she made a commitment to pay $X in rent per month in exchange for the biggest room. She needs to find a way to meet that commitment. Or she has to give up the biggest room, but only if one of the other girls can take on the added expense of having the biggest room--if neither DD nor the other girl is willing/able to pay for the biggest room, Vicki might be stuck with it, and she needs to step up and take responsibility. If that means giving up $10 of fun money per month, or talking to her parents to rearrange the money from them (+$10 for rent, -$10 for clothes, for example), or picking up cans on the roadside to sell for extra cash, then she needs to do that.


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Re: How would you divide the rent? UPDATE #34, #40
« Reply #58 on: September 03, 2013, 01:46:03 PM »
1) They should have had a signed, written agreement from the beginning.

2) However, what I would say is this: If they do decide to renegotiate (say, they pay more each month, but Vicky does more chores or something), then THAT needs to be in writing. Copies for each of them, with witnesses.
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Re: How would you divide the rent? UPDATE #34, #40
« Reply #59 on: September 03, 2013, 02:09:31 PM »
From the math:  Let's say rent is $100 equal share per roomie.

The agreement was $130, $100 and $70

Now with the "new proposed amounts" Vicki is expecting: $110, $110, $80.

And that is hardly a fair breakdown as she is now paying the same as the second largest room.

Absolutely Vicki needs to pay it or switch rooms.
« Last Edit: September 03, 2013, 02:11:11 PM by Zilla »