Author Topic: How would you divide the rent? UPDATE #34, #40, #75, NEW Oh! Dear! #81  (Read 11542 times)

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jpcher

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Re: How would you divide the rent? UPDATE #34, #40, #75
« Reply #75 on: September 04, 2013, 07:33:01 PM »
I thought the original agreement was for Vicki to pay $30 more than equal share, 2nd room pays at room share and OP's dd pays $30 less than room share?  Did I have that wrong?  And then Vicki wants to pay $20 less which with splitting increases the other two roommates each an extra $10?

Clarification (others responded correctly): Vicki's cap is $20 over equal share which she is willing to pay. So there is only $10/month over her cap that is in question Divided between Laura and DD#1, it would be an extra $5/month for each of them -- so only an extra $60 each for the year.


I completely agree with everybody that said it was pretty awful of Vicki to have pulled this at the last minute, when rent is due.

All 3 of them are on the lease, all three signed. They cannot send a separate check to the landlord. They are taking monthly turns as to who's responsibility it will be to gather the monies and send the Landlord the check. It's DD#1's turn this month.

Maybe when it's Vicki's turn to pay, DD#1 and Laura could hold back $10/each? ($5 for when it's Laura's turn + $5 for when it's DD#1's turn.) That sounds like a good idea, but I'm not sure I like it. That almost seems PA to me.

I agree with PPs that a solid arrangement should be reached before the next month's rent is due, and should be done in writing. (It should have been reached before they all moved in together!)


Last I talked to DD#1 she said she didn't even want the larger room any more (she likes her space), so she's staying out of it. Apparently Laura is vying for the larger room and is perfectly willing to pay the higher amount.


I very much understand the Backbone vs. Doormat comments that people are making. However, DD#1 has had a few uncomfortable years with a couple of roommates while she was living in the dorms. That's why I asked her if $5/month was worth fighting over if it led to unhappy roomies.

But you all gave such convincing comments that I'm now thinking I did DD#1 a disservice by leaning towards the "suck it up for the sake of peace" side.  :-\

Yes, I do see the point of "Give Vicki an inch, she'll probably take a mile" but I'm hoping that Vicki is not like that.




Additional BG: Vicki & DD#1 were roommates in the dorm, along with two other girls, during their sophomore year. Vicki was one of the good roomies. During Jr. year, Vicki lived in an apartment and DD#1 lived in the dorm.)

DD#1 and Vicki kept up their friendship. Vicki has always been pretty generous with bday (concert tickets!) & xmas gifts, while DD#1 gifted what she could afford and treated Vicki to a cup of coffee or whatever every now and then.

DD#1 and Laura have been friends since freshman yr. in HS (7+ years.) Laura is not a student (she went to community college, earned her Associates degree and is working full time.)

Laura and Vicki met for the first time in April, when DD#1 and Laura started talking about getting an apartment together. Vicki was DD#1's first choice for a 3rd roomie. endBG.


I don't know if the additional BG is necessary, but I thought you all might like to know.


I thank everybody for their responses. This is a very interesting thread to me because, other than husbands, I've never lived with a roommate.


P.S. onikenbai -- I love your solution, except it must be Skippy! :D




Oh! Another Question: At this point, since everybody is moved in, how could one possibly force Vicki out of the largest bedroom without Vicki's agreement?
« Last Edit: September 04, 2013, 07:35:33 PM by jpcher »

Psychopoesie

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Re: How would you divide the rent? UPDATE #34, #40, #75
« Reply #76 on: September 04, 2013, 08:07:28 PM »
Thanks for the extra background.

It shouldn't be necessary to "force" Vicky out of the bed room just to request that she swap with Laura who's willing to pay the extra that was agreed upon.

If Vicki is reasonable, she'll either pay the higher amount or swap. Both housemates may need to insist politely.

Vicki may be relying on the fact that it is harder to ask once everyone is settled in - another reason why she probably waited till this point to spring the news she wouldn't pay. Really not liking the sound of Vicki, tho if OP's DD likes her she must have some redeeming features.





TootsNYC

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Re: How would you divide the rent? UPDATE #34, #40, #75
« Reply #77 on: September 04, 2013, 09:03:49 PM »
Quote
I very much understand the Backbone vs. Doormat comments that people are making. However, DD#1 has had a few uncomfortable years with a couple of roommates while she was living in the dorms. That's why I asked her if $5/month was worth fighting over if it led to unhappy roomies.

But you all gave such convincing comments that I'm now thinking I did DD#1 a disservice by leaning towards the "suck it up for the sake of peace" side.  :-\


Yeah, I hate to say it, but I think you did.

DD is absolutely savvy enough to realize that if she makes a fuss over $5/month, she could have awkward roommate situations.

But she can have really awkward roommate situations in which SHE feels resentful, etc.

She has instincts; they reflect *her* standards, her values, her view of how the world should work. As long as those instincts aren't cruel or abnormally selfish, you need to *not* interfere with them. You need to say a lot more "Hmm, I see you feel strongly about this," and a lot less "are you sure you want to do it this way?"

NOT an easy transition to make--good luck to you! You're generally doing good, and you have a huge advantage in that you are willing to second-guess yourself. Points for you, jpcher!!

And put me on the side of "if the other 2 roommates don't like what Vicki is doing, they absolutely should hold her to the agreement; don't teach her now that she can get away with taking advantage of them."

TootsNYC

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Re: How would you divide the rent? UPDATE #34, #40, #75
« Reply #78 on: September 04, 2013, 09:05:36 PM »
Oh, and thanks for the update!

onikenbai

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Re: How would you divide the rent? UPDATE #34, #40, #75
« Reply #79 on: September 04, 2013, 11:29:57 PM »
P.S. onikenbai -- I love your solution, except it must be Skippy! :D

I'm in Canada.  Skippy is scarce here.

shhh its me

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Re: How would you divide the rent? UPDATE #34, #40, #75
« Reply #80 on: September 04, 2013, 11:46:37 PM »
P.S. onikenbai -- I love your solution, except it must be Skippy! :D

I'm in Canada.  Skippy is scarce here.
Jif

I wanted to add I think its possible Viki thought once she moved in her parents would pay the small difference , especially if its less then student housing. It's also possible that in Vikis mind parents pay rent so that is not her bill anymore then the light bill at their  home is and pocket money is her money.

jpcher

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How would you divide the rent? UPDATE #34, #40, #75, NEW Oh! Dear! #81
« Reply #81 on: September 15, 2013, 02:39:08 PM »
It turns out that Vicky is not the problem at all.

DD#1 told me that Vicky paid the rent for Sept. 1st a few days earlier, even though it was DD#1's turn to pay. It turns out that Vicky decided to be the rent payer, which is fine, but Vicky should have told both DD#1 and Laura that this would be the case.

DD#1 said that Vicky didn't even ask for money from her or Laura. I told DD#1 that Vicky shouldn't have to ask for money, you should just make sure that Vicky has your share of the rent before the first of the month.

DD#1 said "But we really haven't decided exactly on who owes what!" I told her to pay Vicky what was tentatively decided on and if Vicky and Laura didn't agree with the amount that she paid at least that would open up communication.

It worked. Final agreement was that Vicky and Laura would split the $10. Vicky will be the one that sends the check to the Landlord every month. Everybody is happy.

Not!

NEW Oh! Dear!: I just found out today that Laura hasn't paid her share of the rent for the last two months. :o

Unbeknownst to me, DD#1 covered for Laura's share of the first month rent. Laura kept saying "I have the money. I'll write you a check." Laura still hasn't paid. Nor has Laura paid Vicky for her share of Sept. month's rent.

I told DD#1 that she and Vicky need to put out an ultimatum. Either Laura pays up all the back money, plus her share of Oct. rent by the 1st or Laura has one week to move out . . . And Vicky and DD#1 should start looking for a tentative new roommate, starting now.



Oh, yeah, I mentioned that Laura had a full time job? She quit that job because she didn't want to commute. She is currently unemployed. ::)




NyaChan

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Re: How would you divide the rent? UPDATE #34, #40, #75, NEW Oh! Dear! #81
« Reply #82 on: September 15, 2013, 02:49:50 PM »
Whoa, quite the plot twist there!  I'm always baffled by people who take such a lackadaisical attitude towards owing people large sums of money or not paying for things they've agreed to cover. 

PastryGoddess

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Re: How would you divide the rent? UPDATE #34, #40, #75, NEW Oh! Dear! #81
« Reply #83 on: September 15, 2013, 05:48:20 PM »
Oh wow! That's not what I was expecting. 

cicero

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Re: How would you divide the rent? UPDATE #34, #40, #75, NEW Oh! Dear! #81
« Reply #84 on: September 16, 2013, 09:56:45 AM »

I told DD#1 that she and Vicky need to put out an ultimatum. Either Laura pays up all the back money, plus her share of Oct. rent by the 1st or Laura has one week to move out . . . And Vicky and DD#1 should start looking for a tentative new roommate, starting now.



Oh, yeah, I mentioned that Laura had a full time job? She quit that job because she didn't want to commute. She is currently unemployed. ::)
She doesn't have a job? i wouldn't wait one more day - they should kick her out now. that is outrageous behavior!

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Zilla

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Re: How would you divide the rent? UPDATE #34, #40, #75, NEW Oh! Dear! #81
« Reply #85 on: September 16, 2013, 10:04:39 AM »
So you gave your daughter her share of the rent plus covered the shortage of $10 initially and your daughter hid from you that she paid for Laura's share of the rent too?  And yeah I agree with others, Laura needs to pay up or move out.

veronaz

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Re: How would you divide the rent? UPDATE #34, #40, #75, NEW Oh! Dear! #81
« Reply #86 on: September 16, 2013, 10:29:00 AM »
Obviously Laura should pay up and move out, but Id check into whether or not the other two roommates have any authority whatsoever to give her notice (tell her she has a week to move) unless they are the landlord I dont think they do.  At the very least they will (hopefully) learn a lesson about choosing a roommate and lending money.

Sophia

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Re: How would you divide the rent? UPDATE #34, #40, #75, NEW Oh! Dear! #81
« Reply #87 on: September 16, 2013, 11:32:39 AM »
If I were OP's DD, I would get a check for the amount owed.  That way if she doesn't pay you can turn it over to the authorities as a hot check.  Also, I would also get her to sign something agreeing to paying X amount by Y date every month.  Going without something in writing is fine and dandy when everyone is responsible.  But, that isn't the case here. 

And, if I were the OP I would contact the mother.  Since the parents are actually the ones paying the rent, it isn't as if they are full adults.  It is the parent's money. 
« Last Edit: September 16, 2013, 11:35:33 AM by Sophia »

Yvaine

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Re: How would you divide the rent? UPDATE #34, #40, #75, NEW Oh! Dear! #81
« Reply #88 on: September 16, 2013, 11:37:57 AM »
It turns out that Vicky is not the problem at all.

DD#1 told me that Vicky paid the rent for Sept. 1st a few days earlier, even though it was DD#1's turn to pay. It turns out that Vicky decided to be the rent payer, which is fine, but Vicky should have told both DD#1 and Laura that this would be the case.

DD#1 said that Vicky didn't even ask for money from her or Laura. I told DD#1 that Vicky shouldn't have to ask for money, you should just make sure that Vicky has your share of the rent before the first of the month.

Well, obviously Laura is in the wrong, but this part stood out to me. I don't think your daughter did anything wrong by not giving money to Vicky several days before the first of the month. Daughter thought she was the one who would physically turn in the rent that month, and so of course she hung on to her money and waited for the other women to bring theirs to her, since Vicky didn't communicate the change in plans. And it was still a few days before the due date, too.

Lynn2000

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Re: How would you divide the rent? UPDATE #34, #40, #75, NEW Oh! Dear! #81
« Reply #89 on: September 16, 2013, 12:29:26 PM »
Wow, quite the update. It seemed like DD and Laura were united in their righteous anger against Vicki's initial refusal to pay the full share of rent she'd agreed to... and now it turns out Vicki did pay, just without telling the others, and DD has actually been covering for Laura? It seems like DD has different standards she holds the two girls to. That's understandable if she knows one better than the other, but at the same time, they are in this rent thing together, and her arguments are not going to work with Vicki if Vicki can say, "Laura did something similar and you aren't making the same arguments/giving the same consequences to her!"

I think a written agreement is even more necessary now, just so everyone knows exactly what is expected and tolerated, and can't say they didn't know. People will pay X amounts, Person Y will collect the money and send it to the landlord by a certain date each month, money will be given to the payer by the roommates by a certain date, once and only once per person are they allowed to ask the others to cover for them and repayment must be made by a certain date, etc.. Consequences for different things will be XYZ. I cannot say this would have any force of law behind it, but it would show a good faith effort by everyone involved.
~Lynn2000