Author Topic: How to deal with very negative coworker?  (Read 4329 times)

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TootsNYC

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Re: How to deal with very negative coworker?
« Reply #15 on: July 13, 2013, 12:21:52 AM »
I had that thought.
 
But also the thought that maybe he isn't making up the difficulties that he has (with his mom wanting him home right after work), and that this means maybe he can't be the kind of friend he was before.

That doesn't make him a horrible person; it just means that's not how things are going to work out.

So stop asking him; stop pressuring him.


Also--if he's getting flak from the boss about how work attitude, etc., he may be feeling pretty stung, and so he's pulling back. He may also want to concentrate on actually accomplishing work, since that would be his big argument should he get further criticism.  He may know that there's not too much he can do about his bipolar affecting his work attitude, and so he's just going to knuckle down and get WORK done, so that if his boss complains again, he can say, "at least I got X amount of work done."

Winterlight

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Re: How to deal with very negative coworker?
« Reply #16 on: July 13, 2013, 03:14:41 PM »
It sounds like the guys is drowning as it is and just doesn't have the energy to be chatty. I'd step back and cut some slack.
If wisdom’s ways you wisely seek,
Five things observe with care,
To whom you speak,
Of whom you speak,
And how, and when, and where.
Caroline Lake Ingalls

Cami

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Re: How to deal with very negative coworker?
« Reply #17 on: July 14, 2013, 12:58:39 PM »
I have worked with a person who is an unmedicated bipolar for many years now who has a lot on her plate with her husband's health. Short version: for us, it's best and easier to just treat her like a casual acquaintance and have no expectations for friendship, conversation, etc beyond the moment we are in.

If she is in "down" place and are quiet, negative, etc, then how I handle it is by ignoring her beyond a brief acknowledgement. I don't let her affect my mood or my conversation with others. If she's having a "good" day, we enjoy that side of personality, but do not expect it to continue beyond that day.

So I'd recommend lowering your expectations for his behavior and the relationship with him.

Vall

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Re: How to deal with very negative coworker?
« Reply #18 on: July 14, 2013, 06:02:40 PM »
I really don't see where your co-worker has done anything wrong.  Unless part of his job duties include making your day go by faster, he's simply doing his job.  I have a boring job too (factory) but no one is required to chat with one another about non-work subjects while working.  We do occasionally out of choice but it's not a part of our job.  Is it a part of his job?  Does he refuse to communicate about necessary work-related issues?  Does his lack of communication keep you from doing your job?  If chatting is a part of his job or he is keeping you from doing your job, then I'd take the issue to the supervisor.

If he just wants to keep to himself but does his job duties, I don't see anything wrong with that.  I'd just let him be.  I can see his side of this because I'm not a very chatty kind of person at work and it would be irritating to be pressured by co-workers to entertain them.

bopper

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Re: How to deal with very negative coworker?
« Reply #19 on: July 22, 2013, 06:06:52 PM »
If he wrote e-hell:


There are these two women who I work with that are driving me nuts.  I used to hang out with them but really I just want to go home.  They some how think they have to "take my mind off things" but really I don't want to hang out with them.
Now, our work is not particularly exciting.  Sometimes I might have a bad night and just want to do my work. The coworkers just want to talk, but I put on my headphones so I can concentrate. The one in particular won't stop talking!

Now they tell our boss that I am "sulking and brooding" because I don't talk to them. Maybe I want to my work and not chat all the time.  Can you believe that told hime  "it made my day less fun when he's not around to talk to".  Excuse me - when was that part of my job description? 
How do I deal with these coworkers?






Secret

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Re: How to deal with very negative coworker?
« Reply #20 on: July 23, 2013, 12:55:50 PM »
Time to be selfish.  I have seen a friend try and try and try to bring another friend out of a depression. She tried to the detriment of herself, her family, her friends and her academic career.  When I saw depressed friend wasn't listening to my suggestions or doing what the doctor said, I cut ties.  I need to worry about me as #1.  You need to put  yourself first.