Author Topic: Concert tickets and my dilemma- what should I do, if anything?  (Read 4859 times)

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NyaChan

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Re: Concert tickets and my dilemma- what should I do, if anything?
« Reply #15 on: July 13, 2013, 04:06:59 PM »
I think the first mistake was telling the purchasing friend you wanted 2 tickets before you asked your mom if she wanted to go, regardless of your financial situation.  You committed to that friend that you would cover the costs of two tickets when you really only knew you could cover one. 

As the for the neighbor, well I can't tell for sure from the conversation as you related it, but it seems she only said she would try to come up with the money, not that she was committed to going.

She hemmed and hawed but then agreed she would like to go but she "doesn't have the money right now". No problem, I said. As long as you can pay me by August (that gave her a month and a half to come up with the money) that would be fine. She said she would try.

My friend across the street also knows I am in financial straits and is not aware that I owe my other friend for these tickets so, as far as she knows, I am personally out of pocket for these tickets and has made no attempt to address where she's at as far as paying me back in the past two weeks.

I don't think this second bolded part is her problem - you agreed to cover the costs of these tickets while knowing you were in a financial bind and then gave her until August to pay if she could, again it doesn't seem that there was firm agreement on her part.  If that isn't soon enough for you or if you couldn't actually afford to be out for the extra ticket, you should not have requested it or claimed it from the friend who purchased it.

Amara

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Re: Concert tickets and my dilemma- what should I do, if anything?
« Reply #16 on: July 13, 2013, 05:20:20 PM »
Here's what I've learned: People will say they are committed to coming to something that costs them more than minimal money--a concert, a retreat--but until they pay they haven't really committed. I suspect your friend will drop out as the deadline nears. Or she may even forget it until you remind her and she has to say "I can't afford to go, sorry."

Until you have the money in your hand you don't have a commitment.

Charliebug

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Re: Concert tickets and my dilemma- what should I do, if anything?
« Reply #17 on: July 13, 2013, 05:23:30 PM »
Okay, let me once again clarify some things.

My friend who purchased the tickets purchased 2 for me as she and her daughter are to be seated in a different area than me and whoever I am with. She did not think I would want to go alone.  She knows I cannot afford to pay her right away and she took this upon herself to cover the cost until I can pay. This is between me and her and completely beside the point of the question I asked since we made our own arrangements for payment. I would expect that if I were on FB talking about all the things I was doing that cost money she would be a little peeved that she wasn't my first priority in being paid back, and rightfully so. I consider paying my debts to be my first priority especially considering nobody I know is made of money.

I told friend across the street that as long as she could pay by August that would be fine. This does not mean "don't pay me until August". This means, if you could pay me by August at the latest that is fine. Had she not posted today about the other things she wants to do with her money I would be none the wiser and think nothing of waiting. Now that I am given to believe she has either forgotten her commitment or that she just doesn't care about it, yes, I am ticked.

The reason I said "wow" is because to me it is a huge assumption that a ticket to a concert was put ahead of food, clothing and shelter. Financial straits means I cannot afford anything more at this particular moment but my priorities are not so far out of whack that basic necessities have been put aside to see a show, nor friend across the street's. It will just take me a little while (a month) to pay for the tickets but, as I said, friend who purchased the tickets is fine with waiting for me.

Perhaps not so much background needed to be included in this question as it seems to have convoluted the very basis of my question which is:

Am I being unfair thinking she should make paying me back a priority before her spiritual reading? Or is she being obtuse by posting these things knowing she owes me money?


Charliebug

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Re: Concert tickets and my dilemma- what should I do, if anything?
« Reply #18 on: July 13, 2013, 05:25:39 PM »
Here's what I've learned: People will say they are committed to coming to something that costs them more than minimal money--a concert, a retreat--but until they pay they haven't really committed. I suspect your friend will drop out as the deadline nears. Or she may even forget it until you remind her and she has to say "I can't afford to go, sorry."

Until you have the money in your hand you don't have a commitment.

Thank you Amara. I think you are right there and this will never happen again  :-\

Amara

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Re: Concert tickets and my dilemma- what should I do, if anything?
« Reply #19 on: July 13, 2013, 05:26:20 PM »
I suspect she simply hasn't made the commitment in her mind because she isn't yet out any money for it.

ETA: Re: your new post. I am sorry. I had to learn this lesson the hard way (several times) too.
« Last Edit: July 13, 2013, 05:29:00 PM by Amara »

zainabzks

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Re: Concert tickets and my dilemma- what should I do, if anything?
« Reply #20 on: July 13, 2013, 05:52:39 PM »
I apologize Charliebug if my sentence came across that way. That's not what I meant.

If you are so worried that she won't fork over the money, then tell her you need the money now; otherwise you'll have to give someone else the ticket (e.g. Ebay).

Good luck.

Charliebug

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Re: Concert tickets and my dilemma- what should I do, if anything?
« Reply #21 on: July 13, 2013, 06:07:18 PM »
I apologize Charliebug if my sentence came across that way. That's not what I meant.

If you are so worried that she won't fork over the money, then tell her you need the money now; otherwise you'll have to give someone else the ticket (e.g. Ebay).

Good luck.
   

Okay, no worries:)

 I have sent her a message asking if she still wanted to go for sure and if she didn't to let me know as I do have someone else who can purchase the ticket right away.


zainabzks

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Re: Concert tickets and my dilemma- what should I do, if anything?
« Reply #22 on: July 13, 2013, 06:08:48 PM »
:)

Charliebug

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Re: Concert tickets and my dilemma- what should I do, if anything?
« Reply #23 on: July 13, 2013, 06:48:09 PM »
Just in case anyone is curious, the concert I am going to is Great Big Sea  ;D  Now who could possibly not like them? Hee hee...

Shoo

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Re: Concert tickets and my dilemma- what should I do, if anything?
« Reply #24 on: July 13, 2013, 07:45:05 PM »
It sounds to me she doesn't really want to go. I would give her an out now and ask someone else.

Same here.  I don't think you will ever see that money.

jellyjar

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Re: Concert tickets and my dilemma- what should I do, if anything?
« Reply #25 on: July 13, 2013, 08:24:48 PM »
Something I have learned over the years is that if you give people any kind of deadline, most will not pay you until the deadline.  It might subconscious, but it is almost like it gets filed away as "I have this long to pay".   So I think that your friend will think that she has to until August and isn't even thinking about paying yet.  So I think that by Aug 1st, you can give ask her is she is ready to pay.  If not, that should still give you time to sell the ticket or ask someone else since the concert isn't until October.  I have never heard of this band, btw.  I just googled it and they are great. :)    So I bet you won't have a problem selling it or getting someone else to go.

Charliebug

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Re: Concert tickets and my dilemma- what should I do, if anything?
« Reply #26 on: July 13, 2013, 08:32:55 PM »
Those that said they didn't think she would ever pay are probably right. I sent her a message saying I had someone else who really wanted to go and could pay right away and she had no problem saying she was okay with letting that person have the ticket.

The only other time I have been faced with this is when I was "in the green" so to speak and the people who said they wanted the tickets didn't pay until the day of the concert. It irked me then and I could afford it. I can't imagine the mindset of saying you want something and then not paying for it until God knows when. One thing is for sure, I will never do this again.

TheaterDiva1

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Re: Concert tickets and my dilemma- what should I do, if anything?
« Reply #27 on: July 13, 2013, 08:33:56 PM »
Since she has until August to pay you, how do you know she's not putting aside, say, $10-15 a week for the ticket and using other money for her readings, etc.?

Charliebug

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Re: Concert tickets and my dilemma- what should I do, if anything?
« Reply #28 on: July 13, 2013, 08:50:24 PM »
Since she has until August to pay you, how do you know she's not putting aside, say, $10-15 a week for the ticket and using other money for her readings, etc.?

I never said she had until August to pay for it. I said "as long as you can pay me by August it's all good" Not the same thing. In other words, August is the deadline. Perhaps some people would take that as "don't pay me until August" but I said it as "August at the latest". I said this above.

camlan

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Re: Concert tickets and my dilemma- what should I do, if anything?
« Reply #29 on: July 13, 2013, 09:10:31 PM »
Since she has until August to pay you, how do you know she's not putting aside, say, $10-15 a week for the ticket and using other money for her readings, etc.?

I never said she had until August to pay for it. I said "as long as you can pay me by August it's all good" Not the same thing. In other words, August is the deadline. Perhaps some people would take that as "don't pay me until August" but I said it as "August at the latest". I said this above.

If someone told me, "as long as you can pay me by August," I'd assume I had until the last day in July to pay.

You interpret that as, "pay me as soon as you can, but no later than August."

Both are valid interpretations. Your friend can't read your mind.

It's possible your friend is setting aside $11 a week for the six weeks you gave her to pay.

If you wanted to be paid more quickly, you needed to give an earlier due date.
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