News: There is a new Ehell Kindness Project!  Check it out in the "Extending the Hand of Kindness" folder or here: http://www.etiquettehell.com/smf/index.php?topic=139832.msg3372084#msg3372084   

  • May 29, 2016, 03:12:15 AM

Login with username, password and session length

Author Topic: Driven the to edge with an online group  (Read 4576 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Dr. F.

  • Member
  • Posts: 1198
Driven the to edge with an online group
« on: July 13, 2013, 01:53:49 PM »
I am part of an online group associated with the dog rescue I work with. It is currently undergoing another in a series of periodic meltdowns. The president posted a rather snarky, PA message with a distinctly hostile tone. Several people reacted by withdrawing themselves from the group based on the hostility and constant disorganization.

Cue mass hysteria.

Bunches of people emailing to support the Pres., bunches calling her out on her complete lack of organizational and communication skills.

I volunteered to help out on something (fundraising), and am now being snarked at. Oh, and my help at fundraising has been refused.

I'm really, REALLY close to just being DONE, but I have a hard time just walking away from the animals who need me.

It doesn't help that I'm currently fostering a senior, former puppy-mill irresponsible parent of the human variety who is terrified of me, my dogs, and everything, really. The CONSTANT demands and snark for updates and cuter photos (my photos aren't good enough). She took chicken from my hands. That's her major accomplishment in the last 2 weeks. No, she's not perfectly crate-trained yet. I'm still trying to get her to not shake all over and growl every time I look at her.

What I would really like is some way to let the people in charge know that they need to develop some communication skills, or figure out how to do things better.


gramma dishes

  • Member
  • Posts: 9104
Re: Driven the to edge with an online group
« Reply #1 on: July 13, 2013, 03:32:10 PM »
From your description, it sounds like pure chaos!  I think it's quite possible that this group is just not a good fit for you.

I commend your rescue work, but I'm reasonably confident that there are multitudes of them in your area, with real live face-to-face participants who would LOVE to have you do volunteer work of virtually any kind with them.  Especially fund raising which is the part most people don't want to touch with a ten foot pole!

Have you considered keeping up your much needed work, just with a different, better organized, more grateful and hospitable group?

NyaChan

  • Member
  • Posts: 4107
Re: Driven the to edge with an online group
« Reply #2 on: July 13, 2013, 03:33:56 PM »
It seems they've already rejected your input and I doubt even a politely worded suggestion that perhaps they aren't handling things well will make any difference to their modus operandi.  I think perhaps you should look into working independently or with a new group.

JoyinVirginia

  • Member
  • Posts: 6429
Re: Driven the to edge with an online group
« Reply #3 on: July 13, 2013, 03:38:32 PM »
If you don't want to get involved in group politics, a general message asking about volunteer communications might get your point across. Maybe a private message to president, something like it would be helpful for volunteers if..
Is there a charter, a board of directors, if you are in USA is this an official 501c3 charity? If so ask to look at bylaws, that is, if you want to stay involved.
I have been involved in a group that had a similar trainwreck. The solution a few of us came up with was to form our own group that would service a small specific geographic area. Original group was multistate and that was party of problem. Being in small area we can get together in person and got new volunteers from same area. Our group is doing ok so far.
For constant nagging about your foster dog, remember you are a volunteer and I would limit response to them to once or twice a week for updates. If they want more, someone else can foster.

Amara

  • Member
  • Posts: 2409
Re: Driven the to edge with an online group
« Reply #4 on: July 13, 2013, 04:22:51 PM »
If you really feel strongly about the group and there isn't another one in your area that offers the same thing then stick to only fostering and walking and otherwise helping the dogs. Stay out of group events, interactions, and communications.

magician5

  • Member
  • Posts: 3563
Re: Driven the to edge with an online group
« Reply #5 on: July 13, 2013, 04:25:30 PM »
Might be that your best choice would be to back off. Tune out the chaos (you can't fix it, only add to it) and see if things calm down in a week or two. Keep doing the good that you're doing, and let the "jungle animals" in the group stop roaring.

When you're worried that the group won't get out of the chaos without your input, watch this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pQo8LMaeE8s - you've earned a smile.
There is no 'way to peace.' Peace is the way.

CaffeineKatie

  • Member
  • Posts: 635
Re: Driven the to edge with an online group
« Reply #6 on: July 13, 2013, 04:51:51 PM »
I would pull my support from a group that puts all this energy into chaos instead of into the cause you are all supposed to be supporting.  Find another animal rescue/support group for your energies.  AND well done with your foster dog--I agree, that's a huge breakthrough and a big  >:( to the posters nagging you about your progress!

cicero

  • Member
  • Posts: 19031
Re: Driven the to edge with an online group
« Reply #7 on: July 13, 2013, 09:35:55 PM »
I would pull my support from a group that puts all this energy into chaos instead of into the cause you are all supposed to be supporting.  Find another animal rescue/support group for your energies.  AND well done with your foster dog--I agree, that's a huge breakthrough and a big  >:( to the posters nagging you about your progress!
I agree.

            Created by MyFitnessPal.com - Free Weight Loss Tools

*inviteseller

  • Member
  • Posts: 1821
  • I am Queen Mommy
Re: Driven the to edge with an online group
« Reply #8 on: July 13, 2013, 11:25:20 PM »
I am involved with cat rescues, and it in itself is stressful doing the fostering of a scared, sick animals, but I can only imagine the chaos of a disorganized group.  Is there anyone in the group you can talk to to maybe splinter off with the more organized and focused members?  When a group gets to the point yours is, it is no longer a a viable organization that is helping the dogs.  Chaos breeds chaos and when you end up with wars breaking out among everyone, the focus of what is supposed to get done becomes secondary to the power struggles.

Hmmmmm

  • Member
  • Posts: 8172
Re: Driven the to edge with an online group
« Reply #9 on: July 14, 2013, 08:42:39 AM »
If your offer to help with fundraising was refused, then I'd focus on animal interactions only and with draw from any group administration activities including offering photos. I'd then actively look fir a new group to join or inquire if the others who already resigned from the group want to do a start up.

Your description makes it sound like there is no hope for the existing group.

rashea

  • Member
  • Posts: 9755
Re: Driven the to edge with an online group
« Reply #10 on: July 15, 2013, 08:41:06 AM »
It's a long shot, but can your group hire a mediator for a short conversation? It might help a lot to be able to air some of the issues, and then agree to keep them off the board. It sounds like there is some work to do on emotional issues between certain people, and that's best done in private.

Otherwise, I think I would back off for a bit. These things tend to be cyclical, and the drama will likely fade after a while. Or, consider contacting the people leaving due to the drama and seeing if you can't start a new group.
"Manners change, principles don't. It's about treating people with consideration, respect and honesty." Peter Post

Vermont

Mouse

  • Member
  • Posts: 21
Re: Driven the to edge with an online group
« Reply #11 on: July 15, 2013, 09:48:15 AM »
Oy. I can't stand it when groups devoted to good causes get bogged down in personality clashes and conflicts like this.

I definitely give you props for wanting to help animals.  (I'm a big kitty cat person here!)  If they've made it clear they don't want your fundraising help, I'd back away.  I think you should stay out of these conflicts.  That's not what you are there for, and it is not helping the animals.

Here's what I'd do: start looking into other animal rescue groups.  Once you are finished fostering this particular dog, walk away from this group.  Maybe in the future, it'll come under better leadership.  But this is not worth the elevated blood pressure. 

snowdragon

  • Member
  • Posts: 2200
Re: Driven the to edge with an online group
« Reply #12 on: July 15, 2013, 11:03:42 PM »
I would pull my support from a group that puts all this energy into chaos instead of into the cause you are all supposed to be supporting.  Find another animal rescue/support group for your energies.  AND well done with your foster dog--I agree, that's a huge breakthrough and a big  >:( to the posters nagging you about your progress!
I agree.

Thirded

DottyG

  • Member
  • Posts: 18204
Re: Driven the to edge with an online group
« Reply #13 on: July 15, 2013, 11:13:20 PM »
Quote
She took chicken from my hands. That's her major accomplishment in the last 2 weeks

Congratulations! That's excellent progress. Just keep loving her and be patient. It sounds like you're doing great.


Spring Water on Sundays

  • We will never rest, fighting the battle of who could care less.
  • Member
  • Posts: 2222
Re: Driven the to edge with an online group
« Reply #14 on: July 16, 2013, 10:10:08 AM »
Quote
She took chicken from my hands. That's her major accomplishment in the last 2 weeks

Congratulations! That's excellent progress. Just keep loving her and be patient. It sounds like you're doing great.

I also have a former mill dog and I agree that is so fantastic! She's lucky to have found an understanding foster home. Mill dogs can be incredibly frustrating and are NOT for everyone. I literally cried tears of joy the first time my boy decided to sit in the same room as us instead of hiding in his crate 24/7. Oh, and the time we were on a walk and he cautiously WALKED UP TO A NEIGHBOR TO GET PETTED. I've never been so proud in my life. We've had him for over 4 years now and are working on him accepting gentle hugs from me. He's not totally on board yet but he gives great high fives!

Are there other rescue groups in your area who you would like to volunteer with?