Author Topic: Regifted  (Read 5966 times)

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Jocelyn

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Regifted
« on: July 13, 2013, 10:21:21 PM »
This thought came up after reading another thread:
We all know that people regift. But what is the proper response if you open a gift, and there is a card inside, with a cheery message addressed TO the person who gave it to you?
Suppose there's a card, and the card contains money or a check as well?

Raintree

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Re: Regifted
« Reply #1 on: July 14, 2013, 02:12:22 AM »
First question: I would pretend I hadn't seen the card, and politely thank the person for the gift.

Second: I don't know! Maybe again pretend I hadn't seen it, and later give the card and check to the friend and say, "Here, I think you left this at my place somehow; I found it amongst my things."

sparksals

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Re: Regifted
« Reply #2 on: July 14, 2013, 02:21:21 AM »
If there is a check, I would not cash it but also would not tell the giver.   If cash, I would keep it.  It was gifted to me.  Not my fault they didn't ensure I didn't find out it was a regift.

SuperMartianRobotGirl

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Re: Regifted
« Reply #3 on: July 14, 2013, 08:41:58 AM »
For the first question: I would pretend I didn't know it was regifted and would thank them as if it were not. I don't know what financial circumstances they're in and if that's the only way they could give a gift, or whatever. I just appreciate them being there and thinking of me.

For the second, I'd probably return it and say it got mixed up with my gifts somehow or something like that. I would not keep money not intended for me.

Luci

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Re: Regifted
« Reply #4 on: July 14, 2013, 09:08:12 AM »
If there is a check, I would not cash it but also would not tell the giver.   If cash, I would keep it.  It was gifted to me.  Not my fault they didn't ensure I didn't find out it was a regift.

Just a card, I don't think I would bother with returning, but I would look for a check.

How would you cash the check? It is not made out to you, and nowadays it's even hard to cash a check made out to "Cash". We even have trouble with checks made out to "Mr. and Mrs." instead of "Mr. or Mrs." unless it's going into our joint accounts.

If it is a regift, and if the check is over 6 months old, so isn't any good, I don't think I would bother with it. If the check is still negotiable, I would give it to the giver in a private moment. Cash, I would return to the original receiver.

The check or cash may have been regifted to me, but I think the idea of intent is more important here than technicality. The writer intended it for the original receiver and couldn't in good conscience keep the money.

crella

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Re: Regifted
« Reply #5 on: July 14, 2013, 02:11:05 PM »
I'd take the 'this got mixed up in my gifts' route too.

sparksals

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Re: Regifted
« Reply #6 on: July 14, 2013, 04:13:39 PM »
If there is a check, I would not cash it but also would not tell the giver.   If cash, I would keep it.  It was gifted to me.  Not my fault they didn't ensure I didn't find out it was a regift.

Just a card, I don't think I would bother with returning, but I would look for a check.

How would you cash the check? It is not made out to you, and nowadays it's even hard to cash a check made out to "Cash". We even have trouble with checks made out to "Mr. and Mrs." instead of "Mr. or Mrs." unless it's going into our joint accounts.

If it is a regift, and if the check is over 6 months old, so isn't any good, I don't think I would bother with it. If the check is still negotiable, I would give it to the giver in a private moment. Cash, I would return to the original receiver.

The check or cash may have been regifted to me, but I think the idea of intent is more important here than technicality. The writer intended it for the original receiver and couldn't in good conscience keep the money.

That is why I said I would not cash the check bc it would not be payable to me.   Returning cash would embarrass the giver bc they will know you know it is a regift. 

Outdoor Girl

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Re: Regifted
« Reply #7 on: July 14, 2013, 04:44:41 PM »
I wouldn't say anything about a cheque.  The giver will likely bring it to their attention when they see that it hasn't been cashed.  And at that point, the jig will be up and the regifter will know that I know it was a regift.

I do have to admit to some impure thoughts here.  It would also depend on how I felt about the regifter.  My Dad, brother or nephews?  I'd probably give the money back.  Other folks?  Not so much.  I have one friend who is... particular.  I can see her passing something on to me that she doesn't care for, without a whole lot of thought for what I would like.  I'd probably keep it in that case, as long as it was $50ish or less.

Without money/cheque involved, I wouldn't say anything to the regifter unless the card was for a particularly significant occasion.  Like if there was a personal note from Great Aunt Betty in honour of the regifter's wedding.
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crella

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Re: Regifted
« Reply #8 on: July 14, 2013, 05:22:00 PM »
I personally think that returning the money is more important than the regifter realizing you know it's a re-gift. The thing in the box or bag (whatever it may be) is what the re-gifter gave you. I don't think it matters whether it's cash or a check or the amount of money, I really feel it should be returned. Keeping the money as sort of a 'gotcha' to the re-gifter just doesn't sit right.

GLaDOS

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Re: Regifted
« Reply #9 on: July 14, 2013, 08:04:45 PM »
To be honest, I'd keep the cash and not say anything about a check or a card, unless it was hidden or not easily visible, like a cookie jar filled with cookies, and there's a $100 in a baggie tucked in with them. Or taped to the bottom of a statuette or something. The person didn't care enough about the original gift to open it, or about what they're giving me to even repackage it, and thus I feel they've given up their claim to it.

 I guess I don't see it as a legitimate mistake, like a real gold bracelet that's got mixed in with costume jewelry.

 If I knew the original gifter, I'm torn about returning the money. On one hand, they've already given that money away and it's not theirs anymore. They may have given it with a specific use in mind, but if the original giftee was to immediately donate it to charity, spend it on whatever, or even burn it, it's really not their concern.   As well, there's the hurt that their gift was given away unopened and the thought that went into was wasted and unappreciated.

On the other hand, maybe getting their money back would help them reevaluate their gift-giving in the future and prevent future snafus like this.
« Last Edit: July 14, 2013, 08:08:36 PM by GLaDOS »
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Harriet Jones

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Re: Regifted
« Reply #10 on: July 14, 2013, 10:06:26 PM »
I can kinda see where it might be a mistake, like where the card was originally on the outside of the package, but was then put inside  so that it wouldn't get lost. 



Shoo

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Re: Regifted
« Reply #11 on: July 14, 2013, 10:11:17 PM »
The card with the money in it might have nothing to do with the present.  At a birthday party, I can see consolidating all the presents to transport them.  The card may have been inserted into the box and then left there unknowingly.  I'd give any money/check back to the gift giver.  If it's awkward, it's awkward, but I'm not keeping someone else's money.

veronaz

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Re: Regifted
« Reply #12 on: July 14, 2013, 11:34:31 PM »
It was abviously a mistake.  Give the card/check/cash back to the regifter..."I thought I sould return this to you".

MariaE

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Re: Regifted
« Reply #13 on: July 15, 2013, 03:23:16 AM »
It was abviously a mistake.  Give the card/check/cash back to the regifter..."I thought I sould return this to you".

I agree. But then I see nothing wrong with regifts and don't find them rude at all (as long as they're still given with the recipient in mind - i.e. "This isn't to my taste, but I know it would be perfect for MariaE"), so that's probably colouring my perception.
 
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Jocelyn

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Re: Regifted
« Reply #14 on: July 16, 2013, 12:07:12 AM »
I have no problem with regifts,either, if the item is a desirable one that the 2nd recipient would want, but the 1st recipient has no need for. For example, my sister married right after one of our cousins, and Cousin invited her to take her pick out of a box of duplicate gifts Cousin had received. (it also allowed Cousin to give a nice gift even though she was financially strapped at the time!) I don't remember what all my sister got, but one item was a potato masher, and she also got some linens that were the 'wrong' color, Cousin being fond of pastels and my sister being fond of earth tones and dark colors.
This topic was sparked, though, by someone in another thread talking about receiving one of those 'what on earth is it/who on earth would want it?' regifts. ::)  Getting something you're glad to receive, I wouldn't mind it being a regift...but if it's clear that you're being given the Old Maid card, that's more of a tricky situation. ;D