Author Topic: Regifted  (Read 5422 times)

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rose red

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Re: Regifted
« Reply #45 on: July 18, 2013, 06:18:00 PM »
I really doubt that someone who thoughtfully looked at a gift and decided that a friend would love it, would be careless enough to not open it. Not to mention I was raised to always look for a card first, opening a gift without reading the card was unspeakably rude.

Sometimes money or a gift card is taped somewhere other than the card, like in the back of a photo frame.

siamesecat2965

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Re: Regifted
« Reply #46 on: July 19, 2013, 12:18:37 PM »
I've never gotten a regifted item that was to my taste or of value. I've only gotten items that were clearly given to me because the intended recipient didn't like them and didn't want to throw them away for themselves. Think old bath products (I hate perfume), freebies from cosmetic counters, ugly figurines, etc.

I really doubt that someone who thoughtfully looked at a gift and decided that a friend would love it, would be careless enough to not open it. Not to mention I was raised to always look for a card first, opening a gift without reading the card was unspeakably rude.

Yes, this first part is exactly how my cousin's gifts I mentioned upthread were. One was a pack of body wash you could buy in any drugstore, which is fine, but I know her well enough to know she wouldn't have spent the $$ to buy it for me, so it had to be sometning she was re-gifting. Which I promptly GAVE, not regifted to another friend, asking if she'd use it, since I wasn't going to.

the second part, yes too. In the past, when I've re-gifted something I didn't care for or couldn't use, I was very careful to make sure nothing was left on it that identified it was being a re-gift. I think in cases where something is left behind, it says to me that the giver couldn't be bothered and just gave it.

lowspark

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Re: Regifted
« Reply #47 on: July 22, 2013, 09:18:42 AM »
Anyone who felt me enough of a friend to give me a gift, any gift, well, I just can't imagine that I would think so little of that friendship that I would keep the card & money. I'd give it back to them and laugh about it. I'd probaby say something like "I bet you didn't mean to give me this part of the gift" and laugh. I mean, regifting is something that is pretty common and honestly I don't see anything wrong with it at all.

I'm not sure how to make this sound right but the fact that they missed the card just shows what pristine condition the gift is in. They didn't even open the box or dig into the bag or whatever. They saw it was something they didn't want and apparently thought it was something I would want and gave it to me. I, on the other hand, apparently did like it enough to dig far enough into the package to find the card.

I don't understand not giving it back. Especially those who are attributing not-so-nice motives to the gift giver. If you feel that way about someone who is giving you a gift, why accept the gift at all? And why are you friends with that person, friends enough to be giving each other gifts?

Just to address this point, if it's a "friend," then yeah, probably there should indeed be a "friendly" relationship there such that one would automatically assume the best about the person's intentions. But, I think a lot of people are faced with "obligatory gifts"--like the whole extended family gets together every year to exchange gifts and it's expected everyone will buy for everyone else, even when you don't really know them that well. Or maybe it's a group of friends, and the core group know each other well, but as SOs have been added in over the years you get people who don't know each other as well, and may not be as invested in figuring out exactly what someone else would like. I'm sure there are lots of other situations where people are exchanging gifts with someone they don't actually know that well, and whose motives may be more obligatory than thoughtful.

And to be honest, some people would see no difference in how they approach that person's gift. And some people would. And I guess the question is really, "No matter what you think of the person or their gift, what is the minimum polite behavior you must exhibit in response?"

Obligatory gifts, yeah, I can see that. And yeah, I know that not everyone's motives are pure when giving a gift. What matters more to me is my own motivation. And to keep something I know isn't meant to be for me is not something I would be comfortable doing.

I've never gotten a regifted item that was to my taste or of value. I've only gotten items that were clearly given to me because the intended recipient didn't like them and didn't want to throw them away for themselves. Think old bath products (I hate perfume), freebies from cosmetic counters, ugly figurines, etc.

I really doubt that someone who thoughtfully looked at a gift and decided that a friend would love it, would be careless enough to not open it. Not to mention I was raised to always look for a card first, opening a gift without reading the card was unspeakably rude.

And yeah, I agree, not looking through the gift for a card before passing it on can be interpreted as being rude. But again, it's my own behavior that I have to decide upon and live with.