Author Topic: Shutdown options  (Read 3184 times)

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ettiquit

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Re: Shutdown options
« Reply #15 on: August 02, 2013, 02:36:27 PM »
You could always say, "My old car had died, and I'm so proud of DH, he did a GREAT negotiating job! We're really pleased with the deal we got."

I have a friend who bought a Mercedes-Benz two-seater convertible. Everybody acted like she'd spent a lot of money. And people would ask her how much it cost her.

She always said, "I won't tell you the amount I spent, but I will say that it's amazing how low you can get them to go when you're negotiating on a convertible on the last day of January in a snowstorm! They want the sale for that month, they know nobody's going to buy a convertible--you have tremendous leverage."

So you could try that.

I am SO buying my next convertible on the last day of a winter month!

bopper

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Re: Shutdown options
« Reply #16 on: August 02, 2013, 04:13:51 PM »
"Dad, I'm a grown woman and our finances are really none of your business.  We found a way to make it work.  Now, what is this really all about?"

Maybe try to see his underlying issue:
Does your dad give you any money? Does he feel like he might have to bail you out? Are his finances precarious so he wants to transfer his worry onto you?  Have you a history of racking up big credit card bills? Does he have a history of racking up big credit card bills? Does he think used cars are the only way to go?

Mikayla

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Re: Shutdown options
« Reply #17 on: August 02, 2013, 08:19:37 PM »
Since this is a pattern you've fallen into with him, sometimes it's easier to "own" your part in the pattern and then use this as the basis to set a new pattern.

"Dad, both of us are learning how to establish our adult relationship, and I've come to realize that there's way too much scrutiny of my finances. I've allowed this to go on, which was a mistake.  I'm an adult with a husband, we are doing fine, and we're happy with how we handle our finances.  This is all you need to know, and I'm asking you to not question us again".  Or something similar.

gmatoy

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Re: Shutdown options
« Reply #18 on: August 02, 2013, 10:33:57 PM »
With my father, all it took was my DH saying, "That's our business and I don't discuss even with my family."
 
Problem solved.

Sophia

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Re: Shutdown options
« Reply #19 on: August 02, 2013, 10:55:57 PM »
Just an encouragement to help you shut this down now. 

A couple of years ago my Grandmother gave my dad (her son) all sorts of grief for buying a new Accord with all the bells and whistles.  She said "He couldn't afford it".  He paid cash.  I was 40, which put him at 62. 

So, shut it down now.

*inviteseller

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Re: Shutdown options
« Reply #20 on: August 02, 2013, 11:06:32 PM »
My dad is the same way.  My sister and I tell him that it is not The Great Depression anymore and our finances are just fine,  but he still likes to lecture us on any large purchase we make (yes dad, a block of ice would be cheaper than a new fridge, but not as convenient).  Just keep saying "Dad, our finances and choices are ours to make,  If you insist on lecturing me on this, I will leave."  and if he keeps it up, leave.

TootsNYC

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Re: Shutdown options
« Reply #21 on: August 03, 2013, 09:42:58 AM »
There's always being amused:  "There you go again! Silly old Dad."