Author Topic: I Bought You Something....Now Pay Me Back  (Read 9886 times)

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Texas Mom

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Re: I Bought You Something....Now Pay Me Back
« Reply #30 on: July 31, 2013, 08:15:02 PM »
DD had a roommate (Lenny)  for a year who had a mother like that.  Mom would  buy clothes and knick knacks and mail them to her at college, labeled as a "care package"  and then deduct the amount from the girl's spending money for the next month.

When DD came home at Christmas, we went shopping & I asked her if she wanted something.  She asked, "Do I have to pay you back?"  After the incredulous look on my face, she told me about Lenny's mom.

Otterpop

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Re: I Bought You Something....Now Pay Me Back
« Reply #31 on: July 31, 2013, 10:17:53 PM »
Insane! My best friend in high school used to have this happen to her. Friend's mom would come home and announce she'd bought BF new clothes. Great, right? No, because then she'd tell BF how much she (BF) owed. BF didn't have a job so had no money, and when she'd say "Mom, I can't pay you back." her mom would get upset and say "Then you'd better take them back and give me the money!" Yeah BF also didn't have a license and couldn't drive. If I hadn't been sitting there and seen the whole thing myself, more than once, I wouldn't have believed it. It was even more strange when BF had to beg her mom to drive her to the mall to return the clothes her mom had bought so she could pay her back. *tears hair out*

That is so sick on BF's mother's part.  Not only did your BF not get new clothes but she had to personally give them back to the store for a refund to give to her mother.  Did the woman EVER provide for her daughter's needs?  Was she twisted in other ways as well?  How sad.

Yes, BF got new clothes (paid for by her Mom) as needed and she was adequately provided for in general. Her mom would just do this occasionally when she'd go to the mall for some other reason. She'd happen to see something she thought BF would like, pick it up, then act as if BF had asked her to get it, complete with annoyance and acting put-out when BF rejected the clothes (or couldn't pay for them).

BF's mom wasn't so much twisted as... odd? There was a lack of boundaries until BF grew into adulthood and polished her spine. BF's mom was kind of strict and liked to be in control.

Good to know her mother wasn't totally neglectful. 

Sheesh, where do these people get the idea they can freely spend YOUR money?  It would happen to me once, and then I would refuse anything from that person ever again.

(Come to think of it, I had a girlfriend in high school whose parents bought her a used car and presented it to her on her birthday.  She told me later that they'd bought it using HER car fund bank account, without her permission.  Her parents looked like heroes, got her the car THEY thought she should have, and didn't spend a dime of their own money.  Twisted!)
« Last Edit: August 01, 2013, 05:50:57 PM by Otterpop »

wx4caster

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Re: I Bought You Something....Now Pay Me Back
« Reply #32 on: August 01, 2013, 02:46:46 PM »
My sister tried to do this to me once (and only once).

We used to exchange Christmas presents but at some point, we realized we were just trading off gift cards to each other. It was silly so we agreed to gifts for the children only.  Fast forward a few years and sis and her DH went to Italy for 2 weeks. Yeah for them, right.  Christmas rolls around that year and we ALL get souvenir gifts. If it matters, we (the adults) got a bottle of limoncello.  Sis suggested during the annual Christmas Day phone call that we could drop a $50 gift card for them in the mail at our convenience. I reminded her of our agreement and declined. >:D
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Emmy

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Re: I Bought You Something....Now Pay Me Back
« Reply #33 on: August 03, 2013, 08:16:00 AM »
Insane! My best friend in high school used to have this happen to her. Friend's mom would come home and announce she'd bought BF new clothes. Great, right? No, because then she'd tell BF how much she (BF) owed. BF didn't have a job so had no money, and when she'd say "Mom, I can't pay you back." her mom would get upset and say "Then you'd better take them back and give me the money!" Yeah BF also didn't have a license and couldn't drive. If I hadn't been sitting there and seen the whole thing myself, more than once, I wouldn't have believed it. It was even more strange when BF had to beg her mom to drive her to the mall to return the clothes her mom had bought so she could pay her back. *tears hair out*

That is so sick on BF's mother's part.  Not only did your BF not get new clothes but she had to personally give them back to the store for a refund to give to her mother.  Did the woman EVER provide for her daughter's needs?  Was she twisted in other ways as well?  How sad.

Yes, BF got new clothes (paid for by her Mom) as needed and she was adequately provided for in general. Her mom would just do this occasionally when she'd go to the mall for some other reason. She'd happen to see something she thought BF would like, pick it up, then act as if BF had asked her to get it, complete with annoyance and acting put-out when BF rejected the clothes (or couldn't pay for them).

BF's mom wasn't so much twisted as... odd? There was a lack of boundaries until BF grew into adulthood and polished her spine. BF's mom was kind of strict and liked to be in control.

Good to know her mother wasn't totally neglectful. 

Sheesh, where do these people get the idea they can freely spend YOUR money?  It would happen to me once, and then I would refuse anything from that person ever again.

(Come to think of it, I had a girlfriend in high school whose parents bought her a used car and presented it to her on her birthday.  She told me later that they'd bought it using HER car fund bank account, without her permission.  Her parents looked like heroes, got her the car THEY thought she should have, and didn't spend a dime of their own money.  Twisted!)

Part of the fun of clothes shopping for me is picking something out myself.  I also prefer to try it on and like to shop the sales.  Like most everyone, I also like to chose what I spend my money on.  If somebody chose to get me a gift, that is great and they can pick what they like.  However, I would feel cheated if somebody bought something I may or may not have needed or chosen myself and expected to be paid back.  Even if the item can be returned, the burden should not be on the recipient to return it.

VorFemme

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Re: I Bought You Something....Now Pay Me Back
« Reply #34 on: August 03, 2013, 02:45:16 PM »
If I asked someone in another area to buy something that I can't get at home and bring it to me (or mail it to me) - I'd pay them.  I'm thinking like a bottle or two of a hot sauce that I can't get where I am living (we moved a few times in the military and there were a few things that we picked up when visiting "the folks" because it was NOT available where we were stationed).

Same thing if I was looking for an out of print book or something similar. 

But I want to pick out my own appliances, lawnmowers, clothes, and the like, thank you very much!  If I didn't make arrangements specifically for you to buy it and I would pay you back - then the buyer can take it back to the store to return it, not ME!
Let sleeping dragons be.......morning breath......need I say more?