Author Topic: You paid HOW much for THAT?  (Read 10402 times)

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Twik

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Re: You paid HOW much for THAT?
« Reply #30 on: July 16, 2013, 10:38:39 AM »
There's clearly some sort of insecurity going on there. I wonder if she REALLY comes from a wealthy family, or is desperately trying to make it sound so? People who come from wealth don't tend to obsess about money to the degree she does.
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Hmmmmm

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Re: You paid HOW much for THAT?
« Reply #31 on: July 16, 2013, 10:51:20 AM »
Hya: Is that bag designer X?
You: Yes
Hya: How much did you pay for it?
You: Why are you wanting one?
Hya: No, they are way to expensive for a bag.
You: Well, it sounds like you already know the cost so why are you asking me?

Hya: How much did you spend on that shirt?
You: Why?
Hya: I bet you spent X amount.
You: Hmmmm

Never justify your purchases to her. Never tell her how much you like X. She is jealous and insecure about you for some reason. Don't feed her drama.

Amara

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Re: You paid HOW much for THAT?
« Reply #32 on: July 16, 2013, 12:28:25 PM »
Hyacinth is rude. Actually, she's beyond rude when she pursues it. So I wouldn't put up with that at all. I wouldn't deflect, bean dip or otherwise try to redirect her. Instead, I would meet her rudeness head one with the same (polite but very direct) response each time: "My personal life is just that. Personal. Have a good day."

Diane AKA Traska

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Re: You paid HOW much for THAT?
« Reply #33 on: July 16, 2013, 12:34:20 PM »
Seeing as how she does this primarily in front of others, I would just place my hands on my hips and say "Are we really going to go through this?  Again?"
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TurtleDove

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Re: You paid HOW much for THAT?
« Reply #34 on: July 16, 2013, 12:42:28 PM »
I like the suggestions of "joyfully" making it clear she's being ridiculous. Shock her with your a sure responses. I like the unicorn herd option, or a fantastical story of how you stole it from Zsa Zaa Gabor years ago.

BarensMom

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Re: You paid HOW much for THAT?
« Reply #35 on: July 16, 2013, 12:45:15 PM »
I agree with the previous posters who said that speculating on the cost of other people's items is rude.  My repeated response(s) would be, "I was brought up that it was bad manners to talk about money."  "I was raised that it is rude to talk about money."  "Where I come from, it is bad form to talk about other people's things." "I was taught that it is rude to comment on what something cost."

All of the above is true - it is rude to comment on the cost of what someone else owns or to make any mention of another person's finances.

Cami

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Re: You paid HOW much for THAT?
« Reply #36 on: July 16, 2013, 12:55:34 PM »
I had a coworker about 30 years ago who was aggressively intrusive with his questions about personal matters. These included asking what you did after you left work the day before -- so these questions were daily.

 If you responded with, "Why do you ask?" He would cheerfully respond, "Because I'm curious! Now tell me." He would literally follow you around pestering you for an answer. He once stood outside the ladies room door waiting for another coworker to get out so he could keep pestering her.

The only way I found to shut him down was to use this scenario:

"Why do you ask?"
"Because I'm curious!"
"Well, curiosity killed the cat."  And then refuse to answer any more questions.

FTR, he never learned to stop asking the intital question in the 4 years I knew him. I just learned to ignore him and eventually, he would wander away, perplexed about why I was so "mean". The people who didn't ignore him suffered the constant pestering during their entire employment.

In retrospect, I wonder about his intelligence level since even a dog will stop bugging you if it doesn't get what it wants.

TurtleDove

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Re: You paid HOW much for THAT?
« Reply #37 on: July 16, 2013, 12:57:26 PM »
"Hah! What an obnoxious thing to ask!"

"I love this bag too! It's not for sale though!"


nayberry

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Re: You paid HOW much for THAT?
« Reply #38 on: July 16, 2013, 01:06:18 PM »
tell her you got it at a thrift store

Zizi-K

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Re: You paid HOW much for THAT?
« Reply #39 on: July 16, 2013, 01:09:20 PM »
When I got engaged, I had people have the nerve to ask me "Oh, how many carats is it?" or "How much did it cost?" Luckily, with an engagement ring, you can plausibly say that you don't know. I would say, "Oh, I'm not sure, Fiance didn't tell me. But I just love it, blah blah blah!"

With this woman, I would just be direct because it sounds so persistent and annoying. "You know, Sally, I have to say that I find it super weird and really intrusive that you always ask about my belongings, their cost and origin. Those things are none of your business, and I don't believe your opinion of my purchases is any of my business. So, in the future, when you ask me questions like that, I'm just not going to answer them. I'm just letting you know now so if I don't respond to you in the future, you know why."

goldilocks

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Re: You paid HOW much for THAT?
« Reply #40 on: July 16, 2013, 01:14:28 PM »
My mother does something similar, and it's a little bit hard to ignore her.  For background, I've worked since I was 16, and saved money.  She's never worked and has blown through the money my dad left her.  I ususally don't tell her when I buy something, of course sometimes it's unavoidable.

So, she'll say "Is that an designer X bag? (logo is pretty distinctive)?  Well, it must be nice!"
ME:  It is.

HER:  It this new furniture?  Must be nice.
ME:  It is.

CrazyDaffodilLady

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Re: You paid HOW much for THAT?
« Reply #41 on: July 16, 2013, 01:16:04 PM »
Tell her nothing.  Just toss it back at her.  You can have a lot of fun doing this.

Hyacinth: How much did that cost?
June24: I just knew you were going to ask that question.
Hyacinth: So how much did it cost?
June24: I even knew you'd ask twice.
Hyacinth: How much did it cost?
June24: You must really want to know to ask three times.
Hyacinth: Tell me how much it cost.
June24: Don't you have something similar?  How much did that cost?
Hyacinth: I DO NOT have one like that, and I want you to tell me how much yours cost.
June 24: Oh, I really thought you had one like it.
Hyacinth: NO I DON'T and that's why I want to know how much yours cost.
June 24: Thank you for asking.  As they say, imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. 

I could keep this up all day, and Hyacinth would never learn how much my item cost. 
It takes two people to play tug of war. If you don't want to play, don't pick up the rope.

Kaypeep

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Re: You paid HOW much for THAT?
« Reply #42 on: July 16, 2013, 01:24:49 PM »
How tedious to deal with someone like this.  I'd call them out on their rudeness but in a "fun" way. 

CW:  What brand of shoes are you wearing?
ME:  Oh!  Is this that game where I answer your question and then you complain and try to make me feel guilty or something, by recounting how expensive my shoes are and what a big waste of money they are, or how it must be nice for me to be able to afford Brand Name items, yada yada?  Yeah, I'm not going to fall for THAT again!  Nice try!  "A" for Effort, though! hahahahahahah" (and then walk away laughing WITH her, not at her.)

snowdragon

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Re: You paid HOW much for THAT?
« Reply #43 on: July 16, 2013, 01:29:17 PM »
I had a coworker about 30 years ago who was aggressively intrusive with his questions about personal matters. These included asking what you did after you left work the day before -- so these questions were daily.

 If you responded with, "Why do you ask?" He would cheerfully respond, "Because I'm curious! Now tell me." He would literally follow you around pestering you for an answer. He once stood outside the ladies room door waiting for another coworker to get out so he could keep pestering her.

The only way I found to shut him down was to use this scenario:

"Why do you ask?"
"Because I'm curious!"
"Well, curiosity killed the cat."  And then refuse to answer any more questions.

FTR, he never learned to stop asking the intital question in the 4 years I knew him. I just learned to ignore him and eventually, he would wander away, perplexed about why I was so "mean". The people who didn't ignore him suffered the constant pestering during their entire employment.

In retrospect, I wonder about his intelligence level since even a dog will stop bugging you if it doesn't get what it wants.
[/quote

You met the male version of my ex-coworker, Linda. Linda had a primary co-worker ( the one she worked with most often) who was also her victim for this type of intrusiveness.
  Linda would ask Andi what she did that night, or over the weekend and who she was with, ect. If Andi told her - and Linda did not approve,  Linda would make scathing comments about Andi's character and morality ( ie "You rode in a car with a man, I had no idea you were that loose." and she was totally serious about it.) Andi was helping to raise her niece and nephew's while her brother was in Afghanistan - so that made Andi "gay" and in Linda's world view this was a major sin. If Andi should tell her to that she wanted to keep her private life private ( and I heard her do so, her first day of work)  Linda would complain to the higher ups and Andi would hear about how "Linda was just being friendly and Andi needed to be nicer, Andi could share something from her life with Linda." So when Andi finally turned on Linda and told her that these things were not her business and she had no call making judgments like that and spreading them around, she really did not feel badly about Linda's "hurt feelings"
  It came to a head when they ran into each other while shopping, and Linda made nasty comments to Andi - in front of the kids. Andi told her off and Linda went in the next morning and complained, conveniently leaving out that this happened off work grounds and out of work hours. Andi pitched a fit and one of the other staff who had been witness to much of this came up to back her.
  Things never improved with Andi and Linda, and Andi left after about 3 years...even more reticent to get involved with the people she works with than ever.
  How do I know all this? Andi is one of my closest friends, and we worked together at this place. I saw much of this first hand. 

rose red

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Re: You paid HOW much for THAT?
« Reply #44 on: July 16, 2013, 01:38:33 PM »
tell her you got it at a thrift store

I'm sorry, but I can never understand why anyone would feel the need to downplay their stuff.  Now if I got a designer bag for $3 at a thrift store, I would obnoxiously brag about it to my friends (not coworkers unless we're close because it's none of their business.)  However, if I paid full price because I worked and saved up or even given gift money, I'm not going to brag, but I'm also not going to lie to make others feel better; like I should be ashamed.

The OP shouldn't even have to say where she got it (whether thrift store or LaFancyStore) or how much she paid.  I would give a cold look and say "I don't discuss personal finances." or "That is my own business." or one of the other phases PP's have suggested.
« Last Edit: July 16, 2013, 01:41:41 PM by rose red »