Author Topic: You paid HOW much for THAT?  (Read 11084 times)

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DottyG

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Re: You paid HOW much for THAT?
« Reply #45 on: July 16, 2013, 01:46:49 PM »
Sounds like Hyacinth (last name Bucket???)

"The BOUQUET residence!  Lady of the house speaking!"

http://youtu.be/xTQjT8r6dLE

CharlieBraun said
Quote
I would be of a mind to respond with outrageous and clearly absurd lines, much like Sharnita's suggestion.

"That bag costs Xx!  What a waste?"
"Yes, but this one makes fresh espresso."

"I recognize that designer!"
"Really?  Where is that guy?  Was he outside or is he in the building?"

"Where did you get that sweater?"
"Back of my closet.  Near the entry to Narnia."

I like this!  Might as well have fun with it.  And it would keep things from being awkward for the bystanders as well.


Pen^2

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Re: You paid HOW much for THAT?
« Reply #46 on: July 16, 2013, 01:47:19 PM »
It might be worth trying this, courtesy of Moss from The IT Crowd (warning: loud initial music from the theme song):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=abE1vThQMyI

lowspark

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Re: You paid HOW much for THAT?
« Reply #47 on: July 16, 2013, 01:51:53 PM »
tell her you got it at a thrift store

I'm sorry, but I can never understand why anyone would feel the need to downplay their stuff.  Now if I got a designer bag for $3 at a thrift store, I would obnoxiously brag about it to my friends (not coworkers unless we're close because it's none of their business.)  However, if I paid full price because I worked and saved up or even given gift money, I'm not going to brag, but I'm also not going to lie to make others feel better; like I should be ashamed.

The OP shouldn't even have to say where she got it (whether thrift store or LaFancyStore) or how much she paid.  I would give a cold look and say "I don't discuss personal finances." or "That is my own business." or one of the other phases PP's have suggested.

I agree 100% with the bolded. Again, you have nothing to be ashamed about so quit letting her make you feel ashamed. Your money, your choices. That's why you should neither quit wearing these things to work nor lie about where you bought them or how much you paid.

Regardless of which route you take to deal with this, the one thing I think you should take to heart is to not let her get into your head. Quit letting her make you feel bad for buying these things.

Amara

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Re: You paid HOW much for THAT?
« Reply #48 on: July 16, 2013, 02:09:14 PM »
Whatever you choose to do, OP, make sure you can live with it for a long time. If you put her off with any kind of explanation or make a game out of your non-answers she is likely to keep pestering you without relief. I still think you need to stop it now and then refuse to even slow down as you pass her, silently, in the future.

LadyL

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Re: You paid HOW much for THAT?
« Reply #49 on: July 16, 2013, 02:10:12 PM »
Since this is someone you work with, they are not entitled to your attention so that they can make small talk, never mind harangue you about your purchases.

I would retort with "Do you have a work related question?"

If it's clear the answer is "no," I would either turn back to your desk and say "I need to get back to work then" or get up and walk away and say "I need to go pick up copies in the copier."

If she gives you any further trouble despite this (i.e. complaining you are "unfriendly" to coworkers or whatever) I would mention offhandedly to your/her supervisor that "Hyacinth seems very interested in my personal finances, and continues to ask about it even after I've told her to stop. I just wanted to give you a heads up that this is causing tension between us and was wondering if you have any other suggestion to deal with it."

ThistleBird

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Re: You paid HOW much for THAT?
« Reply #50 on: July 16, 2013, 02:17:18 PM »
EvilThistlebird is whispering the highschool approach in my ear...

Hyacinth: Where did you get that bag?
June24: Wow, why are you so obsessed with where I got my stuff? This is the third time this week you've asked me that. It's like an obsession with you, isn't it? Have you ever been, y'know, tested? You know, you might have [psychological issue of your choice]. I really think you should look into it.

And then no matter what she responds with, you pursue the line of questioning, suggesting as a concerned acquaintance that her behavior is odd and for her own good she should look into seeing a psychologist. (In front of other people.)

Um... I'll try to get EvilThistlebird back in her cage, now, K?

nayberry

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Re: You paid HOW much for THAT?
« Reply #51 on: July 16, 2013, 02:20:01 PM »
tell her you got it at a thrift store

I'm sorry, but I can never understand why anyone would feel the need to downplay their stuff.  Now if I got a designer bag for $3 at a thrift store, I would obnoxiously brag about it to my friends (not coworkers unless we're close because it's none of their business.)  However, if I paid full price because I worked and saved up or even given gift money, I'm not going to brag, but I'm also not going to lie to make others feel better; like I should be ashamed.

The OP shouldn't even have to say where she got it (whether thrift store or LaFancyStore) or how much she paid.  I would give a cold look and say "I don't discuss personal finances." or "That is my own business." or one of the other phases PP's have suggested.

I agree 100% with the bolded. Again, you have nothing to be ashamed about so quit letting her make you feel ashamed. Your money, your choices. That's why you should neither quit wearing these things to work nor lie about where you bought them or how much you paid.

Regardless of which route you take to deal with this, the one thing I think you should take to heart is to not let her get into your head. Quit letting her make you feel bad for buying these things.

i was more thinking of it as a way to shut her up than downplaying the item.

i've outright lied when asked how much things cost, normally in a very exaggerated way so they know i'm lying, "oh this? i made it" or "it cost me a years wages but primarni stuff is worth the sacrifice" (primarni = primark, cheap and cheerful UK store)

lowspark

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Re: You paid HOW much for THAT?
« Reply #52 on: July 16, 2013, 03:05:47 PM »
Yeah, I can kinda see that. But to be effective I would think it would need to be something totally out of the realm of possibility so that it's plainly obvious that the response is sarcastic.

Something like, "aliens beamed it down to me" or "it was handed to me by the Lady of the Lake (in a farcical aquatic ceremony)" or some such.

Because to me, saying you bought it at the thrift store just validates the offender's belief that the item isn't worth the amount it would normally cost.

lilfox

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Re: You paid HOW much for THAT?
« Reply #53 on: July 16, 2013, 05:03:08 PM »
Hyacinth is clearly trying to put the OP on the defensive, because the defensive position is always weaker.  To my mind, the only solution is not to play, don't even pick up the rope and avoid the superiority dance.  I had to learn this for handling a CW who plays the game in a slightly different way but the same basic "I'm the alpha" approach.  Before, I noticed I ended up justifying my position for no reason other than the CW kept attacking what I was saying.  But I never was able to satisfy the cross-examination because the CW's point wasn't to get a better justification, it was to keep me on the defensive.  I realized, I don't need to keep responding to CW.  There's no point to it, so I don't play.

I vote for bland and non-committal as the way to go.  If you respond with bored disinterest, but a half-smile and brief eye contact before returning to what you were doing, that should take some of the wind out of her sails.  It's like expressing that you acknowledge she spoke to you, but you're just not available for conversation at the moment (ever). After all, whatever you were doing before she spoke up has got to be more interesting than having another prickly conversation with her, right?  She might consider you stand-offish, but isn't that a win?

Hyacinth: <any comment that could lead to a negative conversation>
"Hmm?"  (I wasn't listening, and I don't think I missed anything)
"Oh, I don't know." (not interested in having this conversation)
"I don't remember, actually." (still not interested in having this conversation)
"Okay then." (yep, she's still talking)
"Sorry, I'm trying to focus on this." (work is calling, gotta answer)

and the classic:  "So you've said."

veronaz

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Re: You paid HOW much for THAT?
« Reply #54 on: July 16, 2013, 05:05:18 PM »
"Did you buy it yourself?" -- "Why do you ask?"
"How much did that cost?" -- "Why do you ask?"

Odds are she'll say something like, "I'm just asking" and you can say "Oh really?" and then immediately bean dip.

This.

Jaelle

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Re: You paid HOW much for THAT?
« Reply #55 on: July 16, 2013, 05:38:33 PM »
"That's really none of your business!"

Said cheerfully and with a smile.
“She was already learning that if you ignore the rules people will, half the time, quietly rewrite them so that they don't apply to you.”
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Captain Hastings

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Re: You paid HOW much for THAT?
« Reply #56 on: July 16, 2013, 05:48:33 PM »
I think I would just start making stuff up.

"Is that Designer X?"
"No, I made it myself."
"No you didn't, I recognize that brand! How much did it cost?"
"One million dollars."
"You shouldn't waste your money!"
"But I need a matching bag for every car I own, all twelve of 'em."

Twik

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Re: You paid HOW much for THAT?
« Reply #57 on: July 16, 2013, 06:27:28 PM »
EvilTwik suggests starting to say something, and then murmuring, "I'm sorry, I was brought up that one should never discuss money in polite company."

It may take her half an hour to figure out you implied she was rude.
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Eeep!

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Re: You paid HOW much for THAT?
« Reply #58 on: July 16, 2013, 06:50:10 PM »
Here's my suggestion:

"Is that bag by Designer X?"
"Yes, yes it is!" (Said with relish.)
"How much did it cost you?"
"Oh not much, just my soul" [insert evil laugh]

And if she persists, just default to the evil laugh:
No really, how much?
[evil laugh]
How much?
[Evil laugh]
 >:D
"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." - Dr. Seuss

JenJay

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Re: You paid HOW much for THAT?
« Reply #59 on: July 16, 2013, 08:46:41 PM »
Hyacinth: Is that bag from X designer?

You: I'm really not interested in discussing the price and provenance of my belongings with you. How about that local bean dip team then?

This is what I'd do. You know that the only reason why she asks you anything is to get around to how much it cost and then make a nasty comment about it. I'd cut her off before she gets started. In fact, I probably wouldn't even change the subject in an attempt to diffuse the awkwardness, I'd just say the first part and then walk away.  ;)