Author Topic: My suitcase was packed .......  (Read 6817 times)

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Pandora

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My suitcase was packed .......
« on: July 17, 2013, 11:38:23 PM »
 I just needed to know where he was and nobody got back to me until after the fact,"

 This was the complaint of Cory Monteith's father, who claims he was not invited to his son's viewing and is totally devasted by this.

 Is there an etiquette for funerals? Some people are bashing Cory's Mom for not inviting Dad.

 http://abcnews.go.com/blogs/entertainment/2013/07/cory-monteiths-father-reportedly-devastated-he-wasnt-invited-to-cremation/

 

AngelicGamer

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Re: My suitcase was packed .......
« Reply #1 on: July 18, 2013, 12:04:54 AM »
Depends on how Cory viewed his father and what they're relationship was.  He could have not wanted his father there.  Heck, the mom could have not wanted the father there either.

I would like to know why he was waiting and not calling somebody to ask for details.




"Life's tough, huh?  And then you die." ~ Buck, the Magnificent Seven.

Minmom3

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Re: My suitcase was packed .......
« Reply #2 on: July 18, 2013, 12:11:06 AM »
I saw something that said Cory and his father were estranged for 17 years, and that Dad only showed up when Cory hit big.

IF that's true - and I/we have no way of knowing that, then I don't blame the Mom for not having him there.  Sometimes dumping your family has lasting repercussions.  Sometimes you get a do over, but not every time.  I'm sorry the man's feelings are hurt, but I'm sorrier he let an estrangement go on for that long...  I have a feeling it's a case of "You made your bed, now you can lay in it..."
Mother to children and fuzz butts....

stargazer

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Re: My suitcase was packed .......
« Reply #3 on: July 18, 2013, 12:38:35 AM »
He also said he was "shocked" about Cory's heroin abuse.  Heck, I knew about it and I'm not related to him.  Kind of shows how non involved he was in Cory's life.

Cami

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Re: My suitcase was packed .......
« Reply #4 on: July 18, 2013, 08:16:39 AM »
He also said he was "shocked" about Cory's heroin abuse.  Heck, I knew about it and I'm not related to him.  Kind of shows how non involved he was in Cory's life.
Exactly. I knew about it too and I barely watched Glee for about a season and so am not remotely a "fan". If I know about it, then it seems as though the father went out of his way to ignore any info on his own child. So I'm not feeling a lot of empathy for him.

*inviteseller

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Re: My suitcase was packed .......
« Reply #5 on: July 18, 2013, 03:06:55 PM »
I don't follow celebrity news, but as my DD is a huge Glee fan, I have read a few things.  It doesn't sound like his dad was a presence in his life so the people who were closest to him made the choice to exclude him.  And if he didn't know about the drugs, then he lived under a rock.  When I saw that he died, I knew what it was..and I don't even know the guy! 

MrTango

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Re: My suitcase was packed .......
« Reply #6 on: July 18, 2013, 03:13:09 PM »
This is going to sound heartless, but no one has any responsibility to inform a cut-off/estranged relative of a person's death.

Not finding out about a death until after the funeral is completed is just one of the potential consequences of being estranged and/or cut-off.

AngelicGamer

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Re: My suitcase was packed .......
« Reply #7 on: July 18, 2013, 03:20:38 PM »
This is going to sound heartless, but no one has any responsibility to inform a cut-off/estranged relative of a person's death.

Not finding out about a death until after the funeral is completed is just one of the potential consequences of being estranged and/or cut-off.

POD.  It's one of the things that I fear while being a fact that I've come to terms with.  I'm cut off from my dad (his choice) and I'm not expecting to learn of when my paternal grandparents die or if something happens to him, honestly. 




"Life's tough, huh?  And then you die." ~ Buck, the Magnificent Seven.

bah12

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Re: My suitcase was packed .......
« Reply #8 on: July 18, 2013, 03:49:32 PM »
I do think that whether or not his father is invited to or told about his funeral does depend on the relationship that they had with each other.  That being said, I can understand that now that his son is gone, there is a lot of grief (afterall, now it's final. There will never be reconciliation), and attending a funeral (which is for the living I believe) brings closure for some.  I can see why he thought he would go, even if I can understand why Cory's mom wouldn't have invited him.

Also, the article said "no one got back to me", which makes it sound like he did try to find out the details of the funeral. 

Miss Unleaded

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Re: My suitcase was packed .......
« Reply #9 on: July 18, 2013, 03:59:51 PM »
I've never heard of this actor before and don't know anything about the situation, but even for an estranged family this seems incredibly harsh.  Once the funeral is over there is no chance to redo it.  He would have to have done something downright evil for me to think this was justified.

On the other hand, I believe it's ultimately the mother's decision.  I'd hope she took all factors into consideration before making the choice to exclude the father.

MrTango

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Re: My suitcase was packed .......
« Reply #10 on: July 18, 2013, 04:17:48 PM »
It's also entirely possible that it simply didn't occur to anyone to contact the father.  Planning a funeral is a very emotionally and physically draining process, especially if the death was unexpected.

Even under relatively normal circumstances, but especially in that sort of situation, I can't say I'd blame anyone for not thinking to contact someone who is otherwise out of the picture.

bonyk

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Re: My suitcase was packed .......
« Reply #11 on: July 18, 2013, 04:23:35 PM »
He sounds like a professional victim to me.  He packed a bag, waited around for a phone call, and then called People Magazine when it didn't come?  Don't feel too sorry for you, buddy.

Please pass the Calgon

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Re: My suitcase was packed .......
« Reply #12 on: July 18, 2013, 10:32:37 PM »
It's entirely possible this is a conversation Cory had already had w/ his mom or girlfriend. I know that those closest to me (husband, mom, brother) and I have already had a discussion about certain family members who are not to be allowed anywhere near us...even after we pass.

I agree w/ those who say Dad seems like a professional victim. If you have no way to contact your family other than throw gossip to tabloids...there's probably a reason they want nothing to do w/ you!

Redneck Gravy

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Re: My suitcase was packed .......
« Reply #13 on: July 19, 2013, 10:16:42 AM »
It's entirely possible this is a conversation Cory had already had w/ his mom or girlfriend. I know that those closest to me (husband, mom, brother) and I have already had a discussion about certain family members who are not to be allowed anywhere near us...even after we pass.  And to futher that thought, I, nor my kids have phone numbers to contact the people we don't want near us anyway

I agree w/ those who say Dad seems like a professional victim. If you have no way to contact your family other than throw gossip to tabloids...there's probably a reason they want nothing to do w/ you!

Cory was in rehab a few months ago - his dad didn't know?  I agree, professional victim looking for his 15 minutes of fame.  (and probably a chunk of change down the road)

Miss Tickle

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Re: My suitcase was packed .......
« Reply #14 on: July 19, 2013, 09:30:51 PM »
This reminds me of Adele's father complaining about the birth of her child, and how the baby wasn't named how he wanted, and how he wasn't even told, etc., ad nauseam.