I've had waiters* mess up, and then try very hard to fix things and make it right, etc., and I've tipped them big.
I've had waiters be truly overstaffed and frazzled and provide less than stellar service but are trying hard, and I've tipped them big.
In this case, the waitress didn't provide service really at all, so I wouldn't want to tip. And managers don't work for tips, so I would never tip him. His reward comes from his larger salary and from the fact that he *gets* a real salary.
I'd want to preserve my reputation as someone who tips well enough to deserve good service.
I'd want to be able to tip the bus boys (or anyone else who normally gets "tipped" and would end up stiffed if I stiffed the waitress), but I wouldn't know how to do it. I guess the suggestion of handing the tip to the manager and saying, "would you get this to the bus boys, and anyone else necessary?"
*male AND female