Author Topic: My suitcase was packed .......  (Read 6793 times)

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violinp

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Re: My suitcase was packed .......
« Reply #15 on: July 19, 2013, 10:29:30 PM »
This reminds me of Adele's father complaining about the birth of her child, and how the baby wasn't named how he wanted, and how he wasn't even told, etc., ad nauseam.

This. His dad sounds like a piece of work that Cory was well rid of in life.
"It takes a great deal of courage to stand up to your enemies, but even more to stand up to your friends" - Harry Potter


Pandora

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Re: My suitcase was packed .......
« Reply #16 on: July 26, 2013, 03:16:07 AM »
This is going to sound heartless, but no one has any responsibility to inform a cut-off/estranged relative of a person's death.

Not finding out about a death until after the funeral is completed is just one of the potential consequences of being estranged and/or cut-off.

 I had family members inform me of a death after the funeral had all been arranged, expecting me to bring my children over 1000 miles via car.

 I told them to pound salt. Figured if I wasn't important enough to notify during her last illness they didn't need me at the funeral.

nolechica

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Re: My suitcase was packed .......
« Reply #17 on: July 26, 2013, 06:25:32 AM »
It wasn't actually the funeral, it was the cremation.  However, if he's that clueless, the dad deserves what happened.

weeblewobble

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Re: My suitcase was packed .......
« Reply #18 on: July 26, 2013, 07:04:39 AM »
There's a certain amount of "defensive helplessness" here.  He's basically proclaiming to the world, "I'm a good guy!  I wanted to go to my estranged son's funeral. I was just waiting for someone to tell me where to go!"  It's like it didn't occur to him that he could be proactive and get this information on his own.

LittleLou

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Re: My suitcase was packed .......
« Reply #19 on: July 26, 2013, 07:24:38 AM »
That being said, I can understand that now that his son is gone, there is a lot of grief (afterall, now it's final. There will never be reconciliation), and attending a funeral (which is for the living I believe) brings closure for some.  I can see why he thought he would go, even if I can understand why Cory's mom wouldn't have invited him.

As you said, the funeral is for the living. I know and have discussed with my DH that, if he passed before his cut off parents, I would not invite them to his funeral. The exact same actions and personality traits that led to them being cut off would also lead to them causing problems and more pain for the people who loved DH and would be at the funeral by virtue of the fact that they were close to him in life. In my opinion, the grief and comfort of the people close to the deceased in life takes precedence.

So it's possibly this actor's mother, or other relatives, did not invite the father not because of his rel*ationship with his son, but his rel*ationship or the way he would act around the mourners.

Pandora

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Re: My suitcase was packed .......
« Reply #20 on: July 26, 2013, 01:39:44 PM »
 Families can also turn stuff around later. I don't know much of the dynamics of this family, but I can see some people later on going And that good-for-nothing father didn't even show up, conveniently omitting the part about him not being invited.