So, bad update... there's a host of issues with my daughter. Things had gotten a lot better over the last couple years (I could write pages and pages about some things with her), but the last couple months they slid downhill. To sum it up quickly - low self esteem, clinical depression, lack of respect for adults, partner who is a master manipulator and he doesn't respect his own mother at all (so why should I expect any?!).
Well, I tried to talk to her, it went downhill quickly and kept going downhill. It started with me trying very hard to talk on an adult level with her on Friday. She snapped and stomped off. Things went ok on Saturday at the Con, but saturday night went to hell. For a 25 y/o, my daughter can be very childish when she's upset. She was passive agressive, gave me the silent treatment, lied to my face, etc....
End result, I got "thrown out" of "their" vacation (note: I paid for everything). We were staying Saturday night at her friend's place in Oceanside (the other nights were in San Diego on me). I wound up sleeping in the back seat of my rental car at a rest stop (no rooms to be had). I had to go back to ComicCon to pick up art work, otherwise I would have just left California then and drove to Phoenix (which was second half of trip)
Daughter and Son In Law decided to bail on that part of the trip. I will probably get blamed for the money they had to spend to change their flights, but, that's on them. That move also really, really upset other daughter and other son in law in Phoenix. My original plan was back and forth to San Diego; DD begged me to figure out a way that she and SIL could meet the baby, etc., in Phoenix since it was so close. The relationship between the two sisters has been strained for a while, mostly because younger sister moved to Phoenix, got married, had baby, before older sister. (older daughter is not actually married, I just call him my SIL, and she's desperate to be). Younger daughter was excited, and did a lot of work to prepare to have a room for them, etc. They live with in laws and four adults made accomodations for having them here and then they bailed at last minute.
Now, I'm in Phoenix with younger daughter and her family. It's very nice to be welcome and appreciated. I honestly think younger daughter could have made better choices in life, but she's happy, and SIL shows me respect, AND, his parents seem to like having me around! I'm taking them all to dinner tonight.