This has become a soap opera....
another BG: From 14 or so, this daughter was pretty distant from me and showed me little respect. My mother encouraged that (I have cut ties with my mother btw - way back). Around 20/21, she and I went through a period similar to this where she verbally attacked me for some minor thing, threatened to cut off all ties, etc. Yes, she was with this same guy then. I call him my SIL, but technically they aren't married. Living together for 4+ years. I was told by her that I had to apologize in writing to both of them or they'd cut all ties. I did so.
In the last couple years, things got a LOT (or so I thought) better. She apologized for how she treated me in High School, and other things. She became a close confidante and I thought she matured. the "parenting" bit has always been there, even in the good times. In the last few weeks, the HS and 20s behavior started creeping in again and I saw her going personally downhill; I saw her starting to move backwards instead of forwards. She wanted to quit her job with potential and take a dead end, low wage job she'd like better. She had been talking about finishing college, but that went away. My hubby says that she can't face reality so she ignores it and walks away...
end BG
She emailed one of my best friends. She didn't email the friends who knew her during HS and this other bout of behavior, but chose a friend who's only known her during the last couple years (aka the good times). She accuses me of abuse, mental issues, yadda, yadda. She's also declares herself an Atheist, but, in this email to my friend, tell's my friend to pray for me.... There's a strong level of delusion and deflection occuring. She also openly lies about some of the facts in the email...
I'll keep this on the etiquette side of things, as my primary question was asking for one liners to deflect the parenting.
Obviously this has moved to the "cut direct" side of things, and that is what I'm going to do for a while. This forum has taught me that "But they're FAMMMMIIILLLYY" is NOT an excuse to put up with things. there's a quote: “There are the families that we are born into, and there are the families that we choose our circle of friends.". Well, now is my time to be with my circle of loved ones, and they aren't those who birthed me or who I birthed.
