General Etiquette > general


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--- Quote from: LilacGirl1983 on July 20, 2013, 08:15:17 AM ---Not sure if this belongs here or the hostess section or family? Mods please move if its not located in the right spot :/

I had my mother and her boyfriend over last Friday and something was bugging me but not sure etiquette wise it was fine?

I hosted them and provided supper ie meat loaf, corn, some fruit. My mom in surprise brought over store bought cookies as "Dessert" after a bit of a power struggle in my own home about my daughter eating cookies I let her have one after dinner and then had it was a store bought package. When mom was going she went to my tupperware container area grabbed one off the shelf and said here " I will leave one each for you" and put the rest in the tupperware to bring home...  ???  I was a bit puzzled. Thought it was a bit rude but I didn't mention anything to mom. Whenever we go over there we leave the left overs and just take our containers home.

--- End quote ---

I can't get past your mother trying to over-ride your parenting decision. Does she do this often?

I'd be puzzled that she took a container without even asking. That would annoy me - I have too few as it is. But under the circumstances (the powestruggle) I understand why she took the cookies home.

I remember some of your posts about your mother, LG. 

Yes, she tends to be rude, and tramples boundaries.  I suspect that she took your container through a bit of pique.  She may have felt that she "lost" the discussion over the cookies. 

I'm not sure why she brought the cookies in the first place.  If they were something special I'd think that she was trying to be nice.  If they were run-of-the mill-off-the-shelf stuff I'd think that she might be trying to annoy you - I surmise from your post that you have been trying to restrict your child's intake of simple sugars. 

At this point, I think that you have won this battle with your child's appetite.  When my kids were little I was able to restrict the junk sugars until they were about 2.  In later childhood they did like the snacky stuff.  Now that they are adults they don't care much for junk foods or desserts at all, and eat very healthily.

I sounds like you are getting better and better at dealing with her.  Be sure that you get your container back.

Mental Magpie:
I think your mother took them because it was clear you did not want them in your home.  However, I think leaving one for each of you was a very passive aggressive way of saying, "I still don't respect your boundaries.  I'm just letting you think you won."

The other thing that bothered me was that she took the tupperware and left the packaging.  She just had to leave 2 cookies, but why didn't she put those in your tupperware and leave them at your house?  Surely she could have managed a package of opened cookies until she got home.  Then she wouldn't have to worry about returning your tupperware to you.  I think she's playing a control game with you for you standing up to her about snacks for your daughter.

Only thing I would have done differently is tell her, "Oh just take your packaging, I use my tupperware. Thanks!"
Other than that, I don't see the issue of her taking back the cookies you had an issue with.


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