General Etiquette > Techno-quette

Hmm, maybe I shouldn't make comments about drinking on their Facebook pic

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TootsNYC:
My DD is in college and is overseas now for a course.

When she got there, she posted something about the English names of cocktails in a bar she went to in Other Country. They were funny, and it was funny that they were in English.
   My comment was, "ARE YOU GOING TO **BARS** AND ***DRINKING***?!?!?!"

I meant it to be a joke about how "shocked" I, her mother, would be if she did so. She's really not a drinker, very conservative in her behavior, and cautious. And I would *not* at all be shocked--she's nearly 19, she has good sense, she can drink, as far as I'm concerned. (I know it's not legal here in the US except w/ us, so I'd prefer she follow the laws, but I really don't care.)

Knowing my DD, I'm pretty sure she got the joke. But later, I wondered if I should have not said something like that. But then again, she was the one who mentioned cocktails.

Then later, someone in her group posted a couple of group pics of them and tagged her. One of them was really fuzzy. I *almost* commented, "This one is very fuzzy--were you guys drinking?"
     And then I didn't. Because, well, it just felt like it was best for someone ELSE not to bring up the subject on their pictures. (Esp. since I didn't know the other kids--but even if it had been on my DD's wall, I shouldn't, I don't think.)

There's a lot of talk about how college kids shouldn't post pics of themselves boozing it up, in case future employers think they're untrustworthy. So I figured it was best not to raise the topic for someone else.

Carotte:

--- Quote from: TootsNYC on July 20, 2013, 10:52:20 AM ---There's a lot of talk about how college kids shouldn't post pics of themselves boozing it up, in case future employers think they're untrustworthy. So I figured it was best not to raise the topic for someone else.

--- End quote ---

There's quite a difference between a picture of a bar/a few cocktails and something that shows you "boozing it up". I hope (of course depending on the field) that most future employers can distinguish between "we tried a few cocktails at NewTrendyBar for my birthday" and "yeah! kegger! beer pong! look at all those passed out guys while I'm licking tequila from a perfect stranger perfect abs".

So a comment on the first pic with "looks like you had fun! they look really nice" is perfectly acceptable. The second one shouldn't be posted if you don't want people to comment (and future employers to see, comment or not).

EllenS:
I think you made the right call holding back on the second.  Probably your daughter got the joke, but if she didn't reply back with something jokey "LOL, right mom, like you are so shocked." then she probably wants to let it slide.

Commenting twice on the same theme would seem like harping on it.  Don't stress about the first comment, but you're right, the more traffic the idea gets the more likely it is to show up in a "screening" search.

Allyson:
I agree with EllenS. I think the first one was fine--it was on your daughter's status, she will know you weren't really serious. But someone else might think you were mad/judging them if they don't know you well or at all, especially if they'd seen you mention drinking on the status earlier!

Redsoil:
Once is fine, as long as it's obvious you're being all "CRUD MONKEYS!!! *gasp!*  Sooooooooo shocked!  lol" as a joke.  Twice would come across as actually berating.

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