Author Topic: parenting backbone sighted!  (Read 17402 times)

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Sophia

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Re: parenting backbone sighted!
« Reply #105 on: August 14, 2013, 11:24:10 AM »
...That's pretty much the conclusion his parents have come to.  Like I said, all involved parties recognize that the No One wants to deal with a  tantrum. Even those (parents, doting godmother) who are obligated too.  ;D

Have you tried carrying him in an uncomfortable manner?

When walk-away isn't an option, I have picked up DD by the waist and let her feet and head dangle.  She gets so indignant at the position she is in, that she changes gears and wants down or to be held differently.  And, she is willing to promise good behavior.

I call that maneuver the 'potato sack.'  His mom uses it but I've always been a little reluctant because he isn't *my* child and it feels all sorts of oversteppy.  Even thought she's told me its fine.  I also have time out privileges that feel a little funky but that might because he thrashes when put in time out and gave me a black eye once!  Let's say he's a um...spirited child.  ::)

I'll try the potato sack next time, simply because I can't stand being trapped in the house for hours on end.

Also, maybe a non-food reward for good behavior?  Something that can be taken away immediately.  DD loves to push the cart.  All I do is steer and call "Whoa!" when we have to stop.  It also burns energy. 
If he runs off, he can't push the cart anymore. 

dawbs

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Re: parenting backbone sighted!
« Reply #106 on: August 15, 2013, 05:03:37 PM »
Hm.  Maybe I'll start giving my littlest one a treat before bath time, maybe that would cut down on the caterwaulin' he does.

Bath and food are 2 of our "challenges".
Do you know that 'baby otters love pancakes'?  And Diego rescues baby otters.  And the proper way to feed a baby otter a pancake is to plop the baby otter into the bath-tub and feed it bites as it does otter tricks?

^This is not one of my parenting 'victories' as much as it was a "your clothes are walking by themselves and the doctor is going to be serious about the arguments about  things like tubes if you don't put on some ding-dangity weight" on a day when I didn't want to have to do the "hold screaming child in a tub as I dump water over her" trick (again)

Piratelvr1121

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Re: parenting backbone sighted!
« Reply #107 on: August 15, 2013, 05:15:49 PM »
Ahh, you've had to do that too, hmm?  I have to hold him away from the side of the tub to pour water over his head since he really does not like having water poured over his head, it seems, and I think he just doesn't like getting water in his eyes.  And that I can understand, I never did like having water running into my eyes (and my shampoo is not tear free like his is) and hated it at his age too.  Least I'm sure I did. 

Heehee...last time I rinsed out his hair I popped an M&M into his mouth right before I did it and he didn't scream cause he wanted to keep that M&M in his mouth.  >:D
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars.  You have a right to be here. Be cheerful, strive to be happy. -Desiderata

aiki

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Re: parenting backbone sighted!
« Reply #108 on: August 15, 2013, 09:11:02 PM »

Bath and food are 2 of our "challenges".
Do you know that 'baby otters love pancakes'?  And Diego rescues baby otters.  And the proper way to feed a baby otter a pancake is to plop the baby otter into the bath-tub and feed it bites as it does otter tricks?

^This is not one of my parenting 'victories' as much as it was a "your clothes are walking by themselves and the doctor is going to be serious about the arguments about  things like tubes if you don't put on some ding-dangity weight" on a day when I didn't want to have to do the "hold screaming child in a tub as I dump water over her" trick (again)

I dunno. Sounds pretty victorious to me.
"A true gentleman is one who is never unintentionally rude."  - Oscar Wilde

JeanFromBNA

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Re: parenting backbone sighted!
« Reply #109 on: August 16, 2013, 06:54:40 PM »
Ahh, you've had to do that too, hmm?  I have to hold him away from the side of the tub to pour water over his head since he really does not like having water poured over his head, it seems, and I think he just doesn't like getting water in his eyes.  And that I can understand, I never did like having water running into my eyes (and my shampoo is not tear free like his is) and hated it at his age too.  Least I'm sure I did. 

Heehee...last time I rinsed out his hair I popped an M&M into his mouth right before I did it and he didn't scream cause he wanted to keep that M&M in his mouth.  >:D

That is devilishly clever!

Piratelvr1121

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Re: parenting backbone sighted!
« Reply #110 on: August 17, 2013, 07:11:07 AM »
Ahh, you've had to do that too, hmm?  I have to hold him away from the side of the tub to pour water over his head since he really does not like having water poured over his head, it seems, and I think he just doesn't like getting water in his eyes.  And that I can understand, I never did like having water running into my eyes (and my shampoo is not tear free like his is) and hated it at his age too.  Least I'm sure I did. 

Heehee...last time I rinsed out his hair I popped an M&M into his mouth right before I did it and he didn't scream cause he wanted to keep that M&M in his mouth.  >:D

That is devilishly clever!

Heehee...what can I say? The child really loves chocolate in all forms.  :)
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars.  You have a right to be here. Be cheerful, strive to be happy. -Desiderata

andi

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Re: parenting backbone sighted!
« Reply #111 on: August 19, 2013, 10:23:50 PM »
 Just wanted to add my 2 cents as both a mom and a retail employee.  For me, it's more the way a parent is handling a tantrum situation than the actual tantrum (or other negative behavior). You can usually tell the difference between a parent doing the "not care" ignore and the "lord let the earth open and swallow me /trying everyting I can" type of ignore. My heart goes out to those parents

Most of the time my child saves his worst behavior for me at home - but occasionally I've had those "crawl under a rock" moments in public.  It happens, and for me I say "ppppbbbblllltttt" to anyone that judges me and my parenting skills on those days

Thipu1

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Re: parenting backbone sighted!
« Reply #112 on: August 25, 2013, 10:31:25 AM »
Not quite sure where to put this but my flabber was gasted. 

Yesterday, we went out to Governor's Island to see Fete Paradiso.  This is a show of 19th and early 20th century French carnival attractions.  Naturally, there were tons of children. 

The island also has great bike paths, a miniature golf course, several small museums and picnic areas.  It's very popular, especially so since it's only open on weekends and the ferry is free.

Picture it.  A long line in the sun for a free ferry, enthusiastic kids, lots of bikes, lots of big strollers and plenty of folks with multiple picnic hampers.  One group even had a huge bag of Mylar balloons for a Birthday party.

Does it sound like a recipe for disaster?  It was exactly the opposite.  Everybody followed the instructions of the ferry crew...bikes to the left, strollers to the right and move back, please.     

Of course, there was a lot of excited chatter among the children but there were no meltdowns and no ear-piercing shrieks.  The ferry was full but the ride was actually pleasant. 

Even at the fete, the kids were surprisingly well-behaved. 

A lot of parents seem to be doing things right.