General Etiquette > general

Dress codes - where is the limit?

(1/47) > >>

Two of my close friends (Julie and Sarah) have been invited to an old school friend's wedding. The wedding is, by all accounts, rather a posh affair, and apparently all the male guests have been instructed to wear Morning Dress. (This is Morning Dress Most men I know own black tie/tuxedo, but UK weddings tend not to use black tie, since it's generally considered evening dress, and British weddings always take place during the daytime. Morning dress on the other hand, is sufficiently rare (unless you're a regular at the horse races/mix in certain circles), as to make suit hire a necessity for the majority of male guests.

Julie is happy to hire a suit for her DH, James, as she's looking forward to seeing him all dressed up.

Sarah's DH is really unhappy at having to shell out money on a suit (he's v. parsimonious), and is refusing to hire a suit. I don't think Sarah is particularly happy about suit hire either, but doesn't want him to stand out by not wearing morning dress.

What should Sarah do? At what point do dress codes become too much of an obligation to be reasonable? If I received an invitation which stipulated black tie, I wouldn't think anything of it, but is that an imposition?

I also live in the UK, and I have NEVER heard of more than the grooms party being expected to wear morning suits. It's not something people commonly have in their wardrobe, in the same way one often has a good suit/dress in reserve.

I think it might be a good idea to communicate with other invited guests if they know any. If a few other people are planning to just wear their Sunday best, they can do the same.

If the invitations ask that this is what the guests wear, then at most, I might ask if it would all right to wear a nice suit.  Tuxedo, absolutely not, you would stick out.  But a nice suit would fit in better.

If the bride and groom say that they want men in morning suits, then he has a choice: rent one or send regrets.

I think accepting the invitation means accepting the conditions. if you accept a wedding invite that asks that everyone wear a certain style of dress, or color (have seen this a lot!) or whatever, it's no different that accepting a costume party invite - you wear what's expected.

He always has the option of declining the invitation.

Does "hire a suit" mean "rent a suit" or "buy a suit"? 

If it were my DH, I would make him rent one, because I'd love to see him in one.   :-*  If the invite specified that that is the appropriate dress, then I think you need to either respect that or decline the invitation.


[0] Message Index

[#] Next page

Go to full version