You know, you guys have convinced me. In an age when roughly half of all marriages end in divorce anyway, why should I bother marrying my girlfriend? We'll just live together and make a family and tell everyone that we're husband and wife without going through the ceremony and public declaration. Nobody here would have a problem with that, right?
The problem is the difference between what a couple considers their relationship
and how that is perceived by the surrounding community.
Over and and over again, I have heard how people don't need "a piece of paper" to have a life together. I agree! You don't have to get married to make a life together.
But, after living together and making a life together, going through a step that you skipped doesn't obligate the community to behave the same way as if it was a couple who were just starting out.
In contrast to the previous threads that had a problem with people getting legally married, say, less than a year before having a BWW, I don't see it as a problem.
But, if you are going to live in a stable relationship
, have children and in every way share your life with someone, I am going to treat you the same as any other couple who is married. I wouldn't use the terms husband or wife but in every other way socially...
Do you want to be treated differently? Do you want me to consider that your relationship
, though very similar to married couples is somehow not as permanent? Not as important?
How do you want me to treat you differently from people living in the same way with the only difference being a piece of paper?