General Etiquette > Family and Children

Dear Prudence: My MIL redecorated my house

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cattlekid:
I am of two minds on cleaning. 

My mom has cleaned my house on two occasions with no judgement.  I was on five day a week kidney dialysis for a little over two years, plus working full time and things got a little out of hand. 

However, if my MIL were the one doing the cleaning, she would do it with such an air of judgement and martyrdom that I would feel about this small for the rest of my natural life.  Intellectually, I know I shouldn't, but emotionally, it would be impossible.

sagiegirl:
Several years ago I was on bed rest 2 1/2 hrs from home trying to keep baby #2 from arriving.  Although all is well now, she arrived at 26 weeks.  I was discharged, ordered not to return to the hospital for 5 days, and as such was absolutely heartbroken.  I also needed  to return to my 5 yr old. 

It was the dead of winter and I was so swollen that I could not get shoes on.  I cried all the way home, just wanting my bed and familiar surroundings.  I had been told my SIL and AuntIL had straightened up so I would be more comfortable.  I thought that meant run the sweeper, dust, make sure kitchen was clean, etc... However.....

The only room they had touched was my bedroom.  All my drawers were rearranged, tops of furniture rearranged, and the worst....the few baby clothes I had purchased for my daughter were stuffed in a grocery bag and thrown in the back of my closet! 

I completely lost all control.  I spent the next 6 hours on the floor, recovering from an emergency c-section, trying to put everything back in order...

What hurt the most was the baby clothes....it was as though theywere saying she wasn't coming home and just forget about it....

Boy, were they wrong.....she starts third grade next week!

gramma dishes:

--- Quote from: sagiegirl on July 30, 2013, 07:26:28 PM ---

...   I completely lost all control.  I spent the next 6 hours on the floor, recovering from an emergency c-section, trying to put everything back in order...



--- End quote ---

Would it be mean of me to say that I hope your SIL and AIL were still around to see your response to their "help"?  I don't think I'd ever be able to look at them again.

I'm so glad that your story DID have such a happy ending though!!  That part is wonderful.   :)

sagiegirl:
One of them was.  She kept asking if I had been checked for postpartum depression.... :o. As if that could be the only reason I was sobbing on the floor.....

gramma dishes:

--- Quote from: sagiegirl on July 30, 2013, 09:53:52 PM ---One of them was.  She kept asking if I had been checked for postpartum depression.... :o. As if that could be the only reason I was sobbing on the floor.....

--- End quote ---

And you didn't yell at her?  Good grief!  You're so much better a woman than I am!  I'd have let her have it!
 
Did you ever tell them how emotionally devastating their "helpfulness" was for you?  :-\

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