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[Ask Amy 7/22] Son's Girlfriend gained weight...

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Jones:
What an absolutely meddlesome woman. I will admit, my MIL came to me concerned last year when DH mentioned I was planning on losing 60 pounds. It was true concern though, and she accepted what I said and didn't gossip behind my back after the conversation. When the girl in the letter injured her foot, gained more pounds due to her BC, and stated to the BF's mom that she had accepted her new body, that should be the END of it. The girl was a teen when they started dating, the early adult years are a time for the body to change and curves to finish settling in.

I hope she has a spine and runs from these people. Obviously their lives are not comfortably compatible.

Cz. Burrito:

--- Quote from: Jones on July 23, 2013, 01:20:32 PM ---What an absolutely meddlesome woman. I will admit, my MIL came to me concerned last year when DH mentioned I was planning on losing 60 pounds. It was true concern though, and she accepted what I said and didn't gossip behind my back after the conversation. When the girl in the letter injured her foot, gained more pounds due to her BC, and stated to the BF's mom that she had accepted her new body, that should be the END of it. The girl was a teen when they started dating, the early adult years are a time for the body to change and curves to finish settling in.

I hope she has a spine and runs from these people. Obviously their lives are not comfortably compatible.

--- End quote ---

Yeah, expecting anybody to forever maintain the body they had at 18 is ridiculous.  At 18, you're still developing, your menstrual/hormone cycles can still be wonky and not well-established...not to mention the changes her body will go through if she has children that may or may not be reversible.  Or if her low weight was because she was working out 1-2 hours a day and finds she doesn't have that time anymore when she gets a full-time job and can only manage a few times a week.  Or if she has a more permanent injury! Goodness! Bodies changes, circumstances change, lifestyles change, etc.  There is a very large window of "healthy" that people can fluctuate within during their lifetime before weight (whether too low or too high) legitimately negatively impacts health.  And when it does? Still not the MIL's business!

Piratelvr1121:
Absolutely.  Which is why I growl when I hear the phrase "Keep your girlish figure!!"  My mother seemed to be of the mind that a woman had to keep a girlish figure to keep a man interested.

Yet DH has stated he finds me more attractive when I'm not skin and bone, and right now I'd say I weigh about 15lbs more than I did when we started dating (when we were 19), yet he still thinks I look good in a bathing suit. :)

LeveeWoman:
I'd run like the people of Rohan fleeing the orcs!

Twik:
You know, I suspect that the son is not the one with the problem.

The mother, I think, has less concern for the GF's "health," and more for her own status. After all, she's a fine figure of a woman, and has a "handsome, fit" son. Everyone will see that they are the model of caloric morality. But wait - O NOES! He's dating a FAT girl! What will the neighbours think of them! GF had better start looking the part of her possible DIL, or move on.

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