Author Topic: Screeching Kids Waking DS  (Read 5258 times)

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dirtyweasel

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Re: Screeching Kids Waking DS
« Reply #15 on: August 04, 2013, 01:57:01 PM »
I like the idea of talking to the neighbors, but I think your planned speech needs to be a bit more direct.  I would suggest opening with, "hi, we live next door and I'm sure you don't realize this, but the walls here are paper thin so when your children are playing late at night they tend to wake up my son."  Etc.

Let them know that it's not just a noise issue...it's about waking up your child as well.



turnip

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Re: Screeching Kids Waking DS
« Reply #16 on: August 04, 2013, 07:33:55 PM »
I agree going and talking with the neighbors is the best ( and only ) think you can do.  Unfortunately, I think you also need to prepare yourself for the possibility that the kids will continue to be loud, and do what you can do minimize the noise that gets to your child's room.   A fan, a white-noise generator, etc. are all good ideas.

In our case it's not kids, it's our neighbor's large tropical bird that screeches loudly.  We've good relationships with them, we've told them that the bird bothers us and they are aware it's a problem, however they insist there's not much they can do short of giving the bird away.   We've just had to manage on our end how we deal with the noise.   Unfortunately overlapping noises from ones neighbors are one of those things that there just aren't a lot of good solutions for.


MOM21SON

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Re: Screeching Kids Waking DS
« Reply #17 on: August 04, 2013, 08:40:14 PM »
I agree going and talking with the neighbors is the best ( and only ) think you can do.  Unfortunately, I think you also need to prepare yourself for the possibility that the kids will continue to be loud, and do what you can do minimize the noise that gets to your child's room.   A fan, a white-noise generator, etc. are all good ideas.

In our case it's not kids, it's our neighbor's large tropical bird that screeches loudly.  We've good relationships with them, we've told them that the bird bothers us and they are aware it's a problem, however they insist there's not much they can do short of giving the bird away.   We've just had to manage on our end how we deal with the noise.   Unfortunately overlapping noises from ones neighbors are one of those things that there just aren't a lot of good solutions for.

A generator is a very bad idea!  just a FYI.

MasterofSquirrels

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Re: Screeching Kids Waking DS
« Reply #18 on: August 04, 2013, 10:59:19 PM »
We live in a terraced house in the UK.  No idea if neighbours rent or bought house.

To clarify the culture thing is in relation to the time their kids go to bed.  Sorry for the confusion. When I wrote this I wss extremely tired and not with it lol!

I think we will wait and see how things are tonight. If still bad then I can maybe have a quick chat tomorrow. Something like:

"Hi, we live next door and I'm sure you don't realise but the walls are really thin in these houses. I'm sure you're not aware that we can hear everything,  especially late at night when DS is sleeping. .." and then wait for her to say something.  I'll mention the open windows situation only if needed because they're in the same situation as we are likely. All shops are out of fans since this heatwave started.  You just can't buy them anywhere.  We may be able to borrow one from my parents this weekend but not sure.  The important thing is to gently make her aware of the noise.

To be fair we didn't realise how thin the walls were when we moved in either and had to be asked nicely by neighbours to be quieter (childminder side) but this was back when DH and I would go out and come back quite drunk and loud.  This doesn't happen any more lol. So I really believe she doesn't know. 

Thanks guys!

This is totally unnecessary. I would not include this bit. You are talking about their kids, not college kids, but, kids. I feel like you are trying to compare the two, and it is inappropriate.

I'm not sure what you're objecting to.  ??? Hollanda said what she was planning to say to the neighbor (marked in blue), and it has nothing to do with her and her DH being loud or drunk in the past. I believe the explanation was included for us on eHell as context for how Hollanda and her DH became aware of the thin walls, while the new neighbors may still be unaware--Hollanda and DH are no longer being loud enough to be heard through the walls, so the new neighbors would have no reason to realize how much their own noise penetrates. It's a very reasonable and charitable attitude to take towards the neighbors: assuming that they are unaware of the disturbance anyone, rather than knowingly disregarding it. It's exactly the attitude that is often advised here (and was advised by Toots earlier in this thread).

My apologies, I misread her post.
Maybe it was TMI for me! :D


A white noise machine could work, a fan works really well too. I have not had this problem, as I have no neighbors (seriously, closest one is .25 from me) but, I have dogs that bark, and noisy vehicles that go by at all hours. My kids each have a fan, and my son watches a movie before bed, often, that is enough.

If you don't want to encourage nighttime TV watching, you could try a radio. Soft music may help soothe and drown out the disturbance. 

TootsNYC

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Re: Screeching Kids Waking DS
« Reply #19 on: August 04, 2013, 11:09:29 PM »
I agree going and talking with the neighbors is the best ( and only ) think you can do.  Unfortunately, I think you also need to prepare yourself for the possibility that the kids will continue to be loud, and do what you can do minimize the noise that gets to your child's room.   A fan, a white-noise generator, etc. are all good ideas.

In our case it's not kids, it's our neighbor's large tropical bird that screeches loudly.  We've good relationships with them, we've told them that the bird bothers us and they are aware it's a problem, however they insist there's not much they can do short of giving the bird away.   We've just had to manage on our end how we deal with the noise.   Unfortunately overlapping noises from ones neighbors are one of those things that there just aren't a lot of good solutions for.

A generator is a very bad idea!  just a FYI.

MOM21SON, do you mean a gas-powered generator that generates electricity?
That would be a very bad idea to run it inside a dwelling.

However, a "white-noise generator" generates white noise. It uses electricity, much the way a lamp does.

If you did not actually misread the post, and you do think that a "white-noise generator" is a bad idea, would you share why?


LeveeWoman

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Re: Screeching Kids Waking DS
« Reply #20 on: August 04, 2013, 11:11:13 PM »
I like the idea of talking to the neighbors, but I think your planned speech needs to be a bit more direct.  I would suggest opening with, "hi, we live next door and I'm sure you don't realize this, but the walls here are paper thin so when your children are playing late at night they tend to wake up my son."  Etc.

Let them know that it's not just a noise issue...it's about waking up your child as well.

I like this but for the crossed-out phrase. Why not say that their kids wake her son?

catrunning

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Re: Screeching Kids Waking DS
« Reply #21 on: August 05, 2013, 05:07:07 PM »
The family are not British and it could be a culture thing. 
OT, but what culture do you think believes disturbing the neighbors is A-ok? I really doubt this is a culture thing.  ???


Believe me, there are numerous micro cultures where I live that think it is perfectly fine to make as much noise as they want wherever, whenever.    And when you politely ask them to turn it down,  they act all indignant and start threatening or worse.   When one man in my city politely asked his neighbors to keep the noise down (after midnight, mind you) because he had a sick child at home, he got several gunshot wounds for the effort.   The police have even sent out bulletins requesting that people not take matters into their own hands when it comes to noise disputes and other irritants as it is just too dangerous.

I certainly would never think to tarnish all members of any culture with the same brush, but within practically all cultures, there are sub or micro cultures who are actually quite poisonous to have as neighbors.   Their members don't even get why their actions are wrong - it is just the way they are brought up and it is the way they are bringing up their kids.   

Goosey

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Re: Screeching Kids Waking DS
« Reply #22 on: August 05, 2013, 05:41:50 PM »
Micro-cultures, obviously.

But "not British" doesn't refer to a micro culture since there are plenty of British micro cultures that participate in that type of behavior.

MOM21SON

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Re: Screeching Kids Waking DS
« Reply #23 on: August 05, 2013, 05:52:55 PM »
I agree going and talking with the neighbors is the best ( and only ) think you can do.  Unfortunately, I think you also need to prepare yourself for the possibility that the kids will continue to be loud, and do what you can do minimize the noise that gets to your child's room.   A fan, a white-noise generator, etc. are all good ideas.

In our case it's not kids, it's our neighbor's large tropical bird that screeches loudly.  We've good relationships with them, we've told them that the bird bothers us and they are aware it's a problem, however they insist there's not much they can do short of giving the bird away.   We've just had to manage on our end how we deal with the noise.   Unfortunately overlapping noises from ones neighbors are one of those things that there just aren't a lot of good solutions for.

A generator is a very bad idea!  just a FYI.

MOM21SON, do you mean a gas-powered generator that generates electricity?
That would be a very bad idea to run it inside a dwelling.

However, a "white-noise generator" generates white noise. It uses electricity, much the way a lamp does.

If you did not actually misread the post, and you do think that a "white-noise generator" is a bad idea, would you share why?

Gosh, I am sorry, I was thinking a gas one.  I live in a Hurricane area and we often hear of grown adults running gas generators in the house.  However the hum of it outside puts me right to sleep.


Hollanda

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Re: Screeching Kids Waking DS
« Reply #24 on: August 06, 2013, 02:58:32 AM »
When I said culture thing I meant that this family is Indian. We've noticed that a great many Indian families stay up very late at night and so do the children.  Especially as it is Ramadan right now. Something I'd forgotten completely. I know kids don't fast but maybe their parents allow them to stay up for the dark hours so they can eat together?

Sorry for the confusion!

Things have been better recently.  The weather is cooler so we can shut DS' s window.  As I said we have no issues with these neighbours unless they wake up DS.  They've been less noisy of late and even though we hear them,  it's not constant shouting and screaming which is fine. Just kids watching TV and singing.

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