Author Topic: "Graduation" Participation  (Read 7843 times)

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msulinski

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Re: "Graduation" Participation
« Reply #15 on: July 25, 2013, 08:17:09 AM »
Wow, why all the hate against 8th grade graduation? This is not a new trend. I graduated (I refuse to use quotes) from 8th grade 23 years ago. What do all of you have against letting the students feel some sense of accomplishment?

I do agree that big parties and expecting expensive gifts may be a bit much.

katycoo

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Re: "Graduation" Participation
« Reply #16 on: July 25, 2013, 08:37:19 AM »
I think she's being difficult.  If her kid doesn't want to be involved, fine, by all means keep her out.  But while I agree its not a true 'graduation' I'd let the kid participate and just not mention it to people (other than perhaps a grandparent who might care).

I 'graduated' from nursery school with a cardboard cap and ceremony. I don't see it as somehting to take a stand against.

Thipu1

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Re: "Graduation" Participation
« Reply #17 on: July 25, 2013, 08:52:27 AM »
With youngsters, a 'Graduation' of this sort is more an excuse for a family party than anything else. I see no harm in it especially if the children will be attending a different school in the next year.

The museum where I worked hosted a number of Commencements.  As another poster mentioned, many of the folks attending these affairs are immigrants and use the day as a way to express a little ethnic pride.  Girls will be seen wearing saris, beautiful Islamic dress and Gran Bou Bous.  Everyone seems to be having a wonderful time and it's a colorful show.   

It's possible that Anna's attitude will change once her child is in 8th grade and the end of year anticipation starts to build.  I hope it does.


asb8

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Re: "Graduation" Participation More Info Page 2
« Reply #18 on: July 25, 2013, 08:57:02 AM »
Anna isn't opposed to end-of-year celebrations or marking the fact that her eldest will be going on to high school.  What she does object to is this school's way of marking it.  They do call the ceremony graduation, ask the parents to purchase caps/gowns, play Pomp and Circumstance, the whole 9 yards.  There will even be a class valedictorian.

Anna feels very strongly that this is over the top for finishing 8th grade. She really wants to teach her kids to set goals and work for them, to appreciate the effort put into an achievement and also to recognize that won't always get what they want.  In a similar sense, she doesn't agree with the 'everybody gets a trophy' school of thought. 

She would never raise a protest with the school or try to shut the ceremony down.  I think right now her plan to have Eldest not participate is to plan Super Fun Family Trip that overlaps with the day.  Knowing this kid, they may not even notice they missed the ceremony once SFFT is announced.

But she's heard me use the phrase Special Snowflake before and started worrying she was one.

Sharnita

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Re: "Graduation" Participation
« Reply #19 on: July 25, 2013, 09:24:22 AM »
While child might not miss this ceremony she might miss a last chance ro be together with her classmates at their school. I think friend should discuss it with the student and let the jid make the final decision.

Tabby Uprising

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Re: "Graduation" Participation More Info Page 2
« Reply #20 on: July 25, 2013, 09:26:16 AM »
Anna isn't opposed to end-of-year celebrations or marking the fact that her eldest will be going on to high school.  What she does object to is this school's way of marking it.  They do call the ceremony graduation, ask the parents to purchase caps/gowns, play Pomp and Circumstance, the whole 9 yards.  There will even be a class valedictorian.

Anna feels very strongly that this is over the top for finishing 8th grade. She really wants to teach her kids to set goals and work for them, to appreciate the effort put into an achievement and also to recognize that won't always get what they want.  In a similar sense, she doesn't agree with the 'everybody gets a trophy' school of thought. 

She would never raise a protest with the school or try to shut the ceremony down.  I think right now her plan to have Eldest not participate is to plan Super Fun Family Trip that overlaps with the day.  Knowing this kid, they may not even notice they missed the ceremony once SFFT is announced.

But she's heard me use the phrase Special Snowflake before and started worrying she was one.

While I probably wouldn't prevent my child from participating in the graduation ceremony, I do share her outlook on it.  And yes, I too had an 8th grade graduation 23 years ago and thought it was silly at the time. 

StuffedGrapeLeaves

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Re: "Graduation" Participation More Info Page 2
« Reply #21 on: July 25, 2013, 09:54:05 AM »
If the cost is not prohibitive, I think the decision should be her child's.


Anna feels very strongly that this is over the top for finishing 8th grade. She really wants to teach her kids to set goals and work for them, to appreciate the effort put into an achievement and also to recognize that won't always get what they want.  In a similar sense, she doesn't agree with the 'everybody gets a trophy' school of thought. 

I get this point and I agree with her, but would participating in one ceremony really made her eldest not understand all of these lessons?  I participated in my eighth-grade graduation and thought it was a little silly, but I had a good time with my friends and I definitely know and understand all about setting goals and working for them, as well as not always getting what we want. 


Thipu1

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Re: "Graduation" Participation
« Reply #22 on: July 25, 2013, 10:01:26 AM »
Are the parents expected to purchase the caps and gowns or rent them?  That makes a big difference.  The caps and gowns I've seen on Middle School kids aren't something anyone would actually buy. They're very thin and flimsy. Some even seem to be made of paper. 

In college, we had to buy our academic attire but the things were good quality and we had to wear them at least once a month for four years. Buying the things was an investment of sorts. 

An 8th grade Valedictorian may be a bit much but I see no problem with 'Pomp & Circumstance'. 

In the past an 8th grade graduation made sense because many people, especially boys, never finished High School. My father never even made it through 8th grade.     



 

artk2002

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Re: "Graduation" Participation More Info Page 2
« Reply #23 on: July 25, 2013, 10:02:11 AM »
If the cost is not prohibitive, I think the decision should be her child's.


Anna feels very strongly that this is over the top for finishing 8th grade. She really wants to teach her kids to set goals and work for them, to appreciate the effort put into an achievement and also to recognize that won't always get what they want.  In a similar sense, she doesn't agree with the 'everybody gets a trophy' school of thought. 

I get this point and I agree with her, but would participating in one ceremony really made her eldest not understand all of these lessons?  I participated in my eighth-grade graduation and thought it was a little silly, but I had a good time with my friends and I definitely know and understand all about setting goals and working for them, as well as not always getting what we want.

I agree. We had a major ceremony (no gowns) when leaving Jr. High (9th grade for us.) Silly, but is this really a hill to die on? Leaving one school and going to another is a significant event, one worth some kind of celebration. Perhaps gowns and Pomp and Circumstance are over the top, but not something I would take a strong stand on. Certainly not something that would cause my child to stand out in a negative way. Trust me, no matter how circumspect she is, the truth of her daughter's non-participation will get out and they'll end up both looking somewhat silly. 8th grade girls (and boys) are sensitive enough to how they appear to their friends as it is.
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lady_disdain

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Re: "Graduation" Participation
« Reply #24 on: July 25, 2013, 10:05:44 AM »
Since the child is 13 and the graduation won't hurt him in any way, I think the choice should be his. Not participating discreetly would in no way be SS.

However, in her shoes, I would be careful of saying that finishing 8th grade isn't an achievement or that it didn't take effort. Looking back, yeah, making it to high school is not hard and expected. However, when you are in 8th grade, you have spent the last 8 years learning how to be a student, putting effort into it, etc. Telling him it wasn't much is not going to do much for his self esteem. Of course, telling him he is the specialest snowflake is not good either, so I would strive for a balance.

Virg

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Re: "Graduation" Participation
« Reply #25 on: July 25, 2013, 10:13:56 AM »
asb8 wrote:

"But she's heard me use the phrase Special Snowflake before and started worrying she was one."

As others said, this isn't a SS situation unless she's trying to change the ceremony as a whole so she's off the hook there.

"Anna feels very strongly that this is over the top for finishing 8th grade. She really wants to teach her kids to set goals and work for them, to appreciate the effort put into an achievement and also to recognize that won't always get what they want.  In a similar sense, she doesn't agree with the 'everybody gets a trophy' school of thought."

I have to say that I'm with artk2002 on the thinking here.  It may be that she feels that an 8th grade graduation is over the top, but I don't see the connection between this and failing to understand the setting of goals or the "everybody gets a trophy" mentality.  In this case, that mentality makes sense since every one of the kids presumably did pass the eighth grade so they should all get some recognition for it.  My take on such events has always been that kids find it easier to transition to new things when there's some obvious break, so for a grade where they're going to be changing schools (in most places 8th/9th is the transition into high school) it's not bad thing.  I don't get why that would discourage a child from setting future goals.

Virg

lady_disdain

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Re: "Graduation" Participation
« Reply #26 on: July 25, 2013, 10:18:56 AM »
I have to say that I'm with artk2002 on the thinking here.  It may be that she feels that an 8th grade graduation is over the top, but I don't see the connection between this and failing to understand the setting of goals or the "everybody gets a trophy" mentality.  In this case, that mentality makes sense since every one of the kids presumably did pass the eighth grade so they should all get some recognition for it.  My take on such events has always been that kids find it easier to transition to new things when there's some obvious break, so for a grade where they're going to be changing schools (in most places 8th/9th is the transition into high school) it's not bad thing.  I don't get why that would discourage a child from setting future goals.

Virg

Specially since the first advice for getting things done is: break it down into smaller goals.

I am not sure how over the top this ceremony is, though. Mine was held in the school auditorium, the principal spoke, a teacher chosen by the students spoke, a student representative spoke, everyone filed past to get diplomas as their names were read and music played. Everyone cheered. There was a party. The end. But I do see the value in celebrating this milestone and, specially, in celebrating academic achievement.

magicdomino

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Re: "Graduation" Participation
« Reply #27 on: July 25, 2013, 10:25:32 AM »
I don't like the proliferation of graduation ceremonies.  Having said that, and if the cap and gown fit in the budget, Anna should listen to what her child wants.  There's an excellent chance that he'll want to be with his friends.  Alternatively, he may view the whole thing with adolescent distain.   :)

(My experience:  no milestone ceremonies before leaving high school, and I would have been happy to skip the high school ceremony.  I just wanted OUT!)

msulinski

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Re: "Graduation" Participation
« Reply #28 on: July 25, 2013, 10:26:20 AM »
asb8 wrote:

"But she's heard me use the phrase Special Snowflake before and started worrying she was one."

As others said, this isn't a SS situation unless she's trying to change the ceremony as a whole so she's off the hook there.

"Anna feels very strongly that this is over the top for finishing 8th grade. She really wants to teach her kids to set goals and work for them, to appreciate the effort put into an achievement and also to recognize that won't always get what they want.  In a similar sense, she doesn't agree with the 'everybody gets a trophy' school of thought."

I have to say that I'm with artk2002 on the thinking here.  It may be that she feels that an 8th grade graduation is over the top, but I don't see the connection between this and failing to understand the setting of goals or the "everybody gets a trophy" mentality.  In this case, that mentality makes sense since every one of the kids presumably did pass the eighth grade so they should all get some recognition for it.  My take on such events has always been that kids find it easier to transition to new things when there's some obvious break, so for a grade where they're going to be changing schools (in most places 8th/9th is the transition into high school) it's not bad thing.  I don't get why that would discourage a child from setting future goals.

Virg

I agree. Finishing 8th grade, while not a huge accomplishment, is something worth celebrating. The fact that there is a valedictorian makes it better - there is extra recognition for good work that only 1 or 2 people get (assuming there is a salutatorian as well).

Outdoor Girl

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Re: "Graduation" Participation
« Reply #29 on: July 25, 2013, 10:39:17 AM »
Anna wouldn't be a SS for quietly not allowing her child to participate, if they are both OK with that.

But, depending on how the thing goes down, I hope she will reconsider.  It really is a life change moment when you will leave one school behind and go on to another, much larger school.  At least in my case.  There were several smaller elementary schools that funnelled into one high school.  So I went from a class of 20 in a school of 2-300 to classes of 30+ in a school of more like 1000 students.  It was a big transition!

I had an 8th grade graduation.  I can't remember if we did anything at the school but I do remember there was a class party with dinner and a dance at a local banquet type place.  If I remember correctly, we did have a validictorian and some other awards given out that night.

It was a lot of fun.  It was only our class - no 'dates'.  I think some parents were there, at least for the awards part.
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