Kissing on the mouth

[*inviteseller]

Ick !  There is very very few people who get mouth kisses..serious romantic partner, my kids, my cats (yes, yes I do) but I hate overly huggy kissy people.  There is affection for loved ones, and there is way too into my personal space.  I would just tell her that you are uncomfortable with kissing on the mouth.  It would be a shame if she gets hurt, but there is nothing wrong with telling people they make you uncomfortable.

[Piratelvr1121]

Another thought I had. If you think a humorous approach might work, you could tell her, "You could at least buy me dinner first!"

LOL! That's a good one, I might suggest that too!

The only one I kiss on the mouth is my DH, everyone else gets a cheek or forehead (though the foreheads are reserved for children).  Though there've been times I got one from the babe on the lips but thankfully, unlike most toddlers he kisses with lips closed. 

[cwm]

Okay, I don't have any objection to kissing on the mouth like this, but I can understand how it would make people uncomfortable. And knowing people were uncomfortable, I wouldn't try it with them. But the problem is knowing for sure. I don't pick up on a lot of social cues/nonverbal cues either, so I might not catch on.

Personally I'd appreciate it more if someone just came up to me and told me that they didn't like it, and would I please kiss them on the cheek/refrain from kissing them in the future. As long as they were nice about it, which I don't honestly think would be a problem in this situation.

[menley]

I am really shocked that anyone kisses others on the mouth that isn't a romantic partner! I've never experienced this. Is it a cultural thing? Or regional?

[whatsanenigma]

I have a relative who wants to mouth-kiss me. I am wildly uncomfortable with this. I preemptively kiss her cheek, making it natural for her to then kiss my cheek.

I'm actually not a fan of the cheek kiss either, but in this case it works and it's much better than the alternative.

I like this suggestion.  I am not a kisser myself at all, and it would be very hard to overcome my social inhibitions and kiss someone first, but if the alternative is getting kissed on the mouth by a non-romantic partner, I think I could manage the preemptive cheek kiss. Also, I would think that the chances of the person being offended would be low.  A kiss on the cheek and maybe a hug, with a sincere greeting, that would be pretty hard to take personal insult to, I think, even if the person's first choice is mouth-kissing.

[Bethczar]

I am really shocked that anyone kisses others on the mouth that isn't a romantic partner! I've never experienced this. Is it a cultural thing? Or regional?

I think it just goes by family. I still kiss my parents on the mouth, but they are the only ones other than my husband. I personally would not be comfortable kissing anyone less close to me than that.

[PastryGoddess]

I am really shocked that anyone kisses others on the mouth that isn't a romantic partner! I've never experienced this. Is it a cultural thing? Or regional?

neither really.  I've met people from all over the country who kiss on the mouth.  They have been different ethnicities as well

[weeblewobble]

You could quote Cousin Eddie from National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation:

"I wouldn't kiss me.  I have a lip fungus they haven't identified yet."

[menley]

I am really shocked that anyone kisses others on the mouth that isn't a romantic partner! I've never experienced this. Is it a cultural thing? Or regional?

neither really.  I've met people from all over the country who kiss on the mouth.  They have been different ethnicities as well

Huh. Maybe I just have a "back off, don't kiss me!" look on my face that keeps them from trying it

[EllenS]

When I was growing up, we were cheek-kissers in our family, but my first cousins were lip-kissers.  My grandparents (cheek-kissers by nature) had adapted to kiss them the way their mom did.

One day when I was about middle-school age, as I was leaving, my grandpa got mixed up and kissed me on the mouth.  It was just all kinds of wierd for both of us. I felt so bad for him, he was so embarrassed.

The funny thing is, I kiss my kids on the mouth now.  They always saw me and DH kissing like that, and started coming at me lips-first as toddlers. I just didn't have the heart to turn them aside.  So now our house is lip-kissers, too. (But only amongst the 4 of us).

[Redsoil]

Would it be possible, rather than kissing, that you pre-emptively give her a big hug?  You know the sort - big squeezy hug, slightly prolonged.  That way, you might avoid the kiss, but still give her the affection needed.

Otherwise, maybe a European-style double kiss - one on each cheek?  If all else fails, just take a quiet opportunity to mention that you love her, but you're actually more comfortable with cheek-kisses and you know she'll understand.  Just be quite matter-of-fact about it.

[MamaMootz]

Is it wrong that I'm picturing Ross from Friends in that episode at their cousin's wedding with the aunt that always glommed on to him screaming "WHY IS IT ALWAYS ON THE LIPS?"

But that would be wrong.

I am uncomfortable with even hugging, so I'm glad that none of my relatives are lip-kissers. But if she's not getting the non-verbal hints, I'm afraid you are going to have to say something kindly, like you are more comfortable with cheek kissing - what Redsoil said.

[Arrynne]

Treat her like you would an over-affectionate first date.  When she goes in for the mouth kiss, very deliberately present her your cheek. 

This. My husband's grandma was a lip-kisser. I became very skilled at quickly turning so she got my cheek instead of my lips.

[learningtofly]

Treat her like you would an over-affectionate first date.  When she goes in for the mouth kiss, very deliberately present her your cheek. 

This. My husband's grandma was a lip-kisser. I became very skilled at quickly turning so she got my cheek instead of my lips.

I became skilled at this as well.  DH's family was never a hugging/kissing family, but they saw that my family hugged and kissed on the cheek hello and goodbye.  When they started this practice I think FIL had spent years only kissing MIL (and therefore associated kisses with lips) and my husband's SIL and I spent a few years with awkward mouth kisses and then learning to turn really fast once we got past the initial shock.  Now we just don't hug or kiss any of the adults and everyone is happy.