Author Topic: Baby shower - gifting off registry  (Read 2504 times)

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chicajojobe

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Baby shower - gifting off registry
« on: July 26, 2013, 01:28:36 PM »
I co-worker of mine is pregnant and another co-worker sent out invitations to a baby shower, well another one replied back asking where she was registered, I cringed when I saw that because I'd figured this was going to be a surprise. It turned out I was right because the person who sent out the invite wrote back that it was originally going to be a surprise so she didn't ask X where she was registered and then sent us the name of the store where she was. Guess it's no longer a surprise.
I know all this because everything happened via email. Don't judge us we're a very young and casual group. Plus this is just for the women who are in our program (we're students), not her family or best friend since kindergarten because we don't know those people and almost all of them live in another state. So that's the background on the situation.
Anyway, I already bought a gift. Coincidentally from the store where she's registered but I don't know if any of my items were on her registry. It's a fairly simple gift. Some bibs, a sippy cup, and baby spoons (the practical kind for actual use, not the decorative kind). Well do I need to take it back and get something from the registry?

EDIT: I mixed and matched items so an entirely duplicate gift is very unlikely, and I got a gift receipt so she can return it if she wants.

« Last Edit: July 26, 2013, 11:00:05 PM by chicajojobe »

TootsNYC

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Re: Baby shower - gifting off registry
« Reply #1 on: July 26, 2013, 01:33:54 PM »
It could very easily be a surprise still.

you can find people's registries without asking them--it's recommended all the time as a strategy for finding out.  Just google their name and the word "registry.

Or, check quickly through the 4 big stores people usually register at.

(The Mother-to-be probably registered because of a family shower.)

Or, the coworker could have said, "are you having a family shower? where did you register?" without giving anything away. Or snooped through her desk. Or Facebook messaged one of her "friends" to ask.

So don't assume it's not a secret anymore, and don't tell her.

It's completely fine to give her something that was not on her registry. A registry is simply intended to be a list of ideas for the people who need one. Or guidance for people who are buying something that really needs to match (kitchen towels, china, etc.)

You didn't need an idea, and sippy cups, etc., don't need to coordinate with anything.


Have fun at the shower!

LeveeWoman

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Re: Baby shower - gifting off registry
« Reply #2 on: July 26, 2013, 01:34:24 PM »
It sounds perfect to me!

Margo

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Re: Baby shower - gifting off registry
« Reply #3 on: July 26, 2013, 01:35:30 PM »
No, definitely not. A registry is a list of suggestions, not demands. Even if you'd had the registry info before you bought the gift, you are not under any obligation to buy from the registry .

Judah

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Re: Baby shower - gifting off registry
« Reply #4 on: July 26, 2013, 01:37:05 PM »
There's no obligation to buy from the registry. A thoughtful gift is a thoughtful gift. You're fine.
Ask for what you want. Let's be clear on this one:
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chicajojobe

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Re: Baby shower - gifting off registry
« Reply #5 on: July 26, 2013, 01:40:14 PM »
So don't assume it's not a secret anymore, and don't tell her.

LOL! Well since Invitation Girl said "originally a surprise" I had assumed it wasn't anymore, but telling Guest of Honor never once crossed my mind!
Anyway, snooping through her desk is unlikely, my desk near Guest of Honors and our desks have locks. Plus, I know Invitation Girl well and I can't imagine her doing something that creepy...on top of the fact that I doubt Guest of Honor keeps any baby registry stuff in her desk. Though, yeah, she could have Google or Facebook stalked easily. Or asked Guest of Honor's DH.
I'm still inclined to think it's not a surprise, but I'll be sure to ask Invitation Girl just so I know.
As I said though, I'm not that type of person, I wouldn't mention anything to Guest of Honor either way.
« Last Edit: July 26, 2013, 01:43:29 PM by chicajojobe »

TootsNYC

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Re: Baby shower - gifting off registry
« Reply #6 on: July 26, 2013, 01:43:23 PM »
"snooping through her desk" was mostly a joke.

But there are lots and lots of way to get registry info.

chicajojobe

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Re: Baby shower - gifting off registry
« Reply #7 on: July 26, 2013, 01:44:12 PM »
"snooping through her desk" was mostly a joke.

But there are lots and lots of way to get registry info.

Oh! LOL, I'm glad to hear that.

I was thinking "wow, I hope people don't actually do that!" Boundaries, much?

CrazyDaffodilLady

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Re: Baby shower - gifting off registry
« Reply #8 on: July 26, 2013, 02:08:13 PM »
We had a surprise shower at work, and MTB was truly surprised.  I did the shopping and got a couple of high-end items off her registry, which I found by calling the most likely places and asking.  Hit it with the first call.  The store didn't need to know who purchased the items, only that they were purchased. 

When buying a shower gift on my own, I almost always give books, so don't bother with the registry.  Obviously, I think this is fine, even if done if lieu of contributing to a group gift.
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AmethystAnne

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Re: Baby shower - gifting off registry
« Reply #9 on: July 26, 2013, 02:36:45 PM »
OP, the bibs, sippy cups, and usable baby spoons are perfect!

cwm

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Re: Baby shower - gifting off registry
« Reply #10 on: July 26, 2013, 02:41:34 PM »
OP, items like that which are going to be necessary for any baby are never a problem. You don't absolutely need to get things from the registry, it's just a wish list. What you got sounds like it will be perfect.

CakeBeret

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Re: Baby shower - gifting off registry
« Reply #11 on: July 26, 2013, 04:18:20 PM »
I think your gift is perfect.

When I created a baby registry, I felt ridiculous registering for small things like spoons, feeding bowls, basic bibs, and the like. I registered mainly for things that I had a real preference on - a themed crib mobile, a stroller that I liked, and so on.

I'd say only about 20% of the gifts I received were from my registry, and I was pleased with all the gifts I received.
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ladyknight1

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Re: Baby shower - gifting off registry
« Reply #12 on: July 26, 2013, 04:29:24 PM »
I have a co-worker whose wife is expecting their first child. We are thrilled for them and they are very excited. He and his wife are both geeks like I am, also into music. I am buying onesies and adding appliques that will express their likes while still being baby appropriate. I know that my other co-workers will all buy off their registry.

I also think it is nice for the GOH to be surprised by things they didn't pick out.

earthgirl

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Re: Baby shower - gifting off registry
« Reply #13 on: July 30, 2013, 08:13:04 AM »

Anyway, I already bought a gift. Coincidentally from the store where she's registered but I don't know if any of my items were on her registry. It's a fairly simple gift. Some bibs, a sippy cup, and baby spoons (the practical kind for actual use, not the decorative kind). Well do I need to take it back and get something from the registry?

EDIT: I mixed and matched items so an entirely duplicate gift is very unlikely, and I got a gift receipt so she can return it if she wants.

I really believe that you can never have enough bibs. 
And the spoons & sippy cups will be useful four to six+ months down the line; a lot of shower presents are geared toward newborns. 
I think this sounds like a great, and practical gift.

Thipu1

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Re: Baby shower - gifting off registry
« Reply #14 on: July 30, 2013, 10:19:45 AM »
There's nothing wrong with buying off the registry.

It may not look flashy but a gift of practical things for a baby is always welcome.  Inexpensive things like spoons and bibs can be easily overlooked in a registry but, when you have to buy them all, the cost can be surprisingly high. 

I learned from a friend that even if the parents will be using disposables, Birdseye diapers are very useful as burp cloths. She always included a package with her gift.