DottyG, perhaps CuriousCat misunderstood what you said, thinking you meant "what you said hurts my feelings" rather than "if I were pregnant and someone said that to me, I think it would hurt my feelings." That's the only way what she said makes sense to me, so I wonder if that's what happened.
Also: darn, my original post didn't go through when this thread first appeared! I am currently pregnant and what I wanted to say was this: one of the most frequent questions I get, which I think is a great question, is "How have you been feeling?" Just that simple. Or "How are you doing?" but I can tell people mean physically with the pregnancy and I'm cool with them meaning that & will tell them. It's a question that is about me & my experience, and an invitation to gripe a little if I feel the need, "Well, not too bad but it's certainly getting harder to find a good position to sleep in at night," etc. That's a nice kind of question to be asked.
I also second the thing from earlier in the thread: "You look great!"--as long as it's really true. Many pregnant women do look great at many stages, especially if they are healthy, and it's great to combat the very stupid "looking pregnant = looking fat = looking bad" dynamic that seems to pop up a lot in our culture. If she looks sick, maybe revert to the "How are you feeling?"
Asking when I'm due is also OK with me, but I will say that insisting to know the precise date annoys me a little. I say "mid-October" for a reason--two reasons actually--one, because due dates are calculated in a fairly arbitrary way (which incidentally assumes that all women's cycles are the same length, totally untrue) and very few women give birth on their actual date, and two, because by my calculations the due date my doctor assigned me is at least a week off. I'm not going to quibble about what the "actual" due date is, but I'm just not going to set that much store by October 12th, and when other people act like that is the important thing to know... it's not a terrible thing to do or anything, but it's annoying.
P.S. Just saw your post before posting, Oh Joy--oh man I know what you mean!