Calling in Sick w/ TOO MUCH information!

[Nannerdoman]

I've heard of bosses that can be skeptical/harass employees who call in sick with "are you REALLY sick?", asking for details (because if THEY don't think it's bad they'll bug the employee to come in) and stuff like that.  Sometimes grossing them out is the only way to get them to stop.

For many years I didn't use sick leave unless I had a fever or was physically unable to come to work. During that time, I came down with pneumonia and was told to take the whole week off work. My boss (a doctor) interrogated me about what medications I was taking etc., and I think he honestly believed I was faking it. You can bet that when I went back I had something in writing from my own doctor.

[Me]

LadyJaneinMD that boss sounds horrible and I'm glad you were able to leave.

I had a boss who had everyone scared (ever the real 'tough' types) to ring up sick as they would interrogate you.  I once called in really ill with the flu barely able to speak and they told me they thought I was lying in a very unprofessional manner.  If people did say they were sick they would demand to know the details.  Their worst moment was when a worker called in to say their father had passed away the night before and the first thing out of their mouth was, "when will you be coming in?"   

[camlan]

LadyJaneinMD that boss sounds horrible and I'm glad you were able to leave.

I had a boss who had everyone scared (ever the real 'tough' types) to ring up sick as they would interrogate you.  I once called in really ill with the flu barely able to speak and they told me they thought I was lying in a very unprofessional manner.  If people did say they were sick they would demand to know the details.  Their worst moment was when a worker called in to say their father had passed away the night before and the first thing out of their mouth was, "when will you be coming in?"

Oh, dear, that reminds me of my first job. The father of one of the salespeople died, and the guy took *one* day off for the funeral. On the afternoon of that day, the owner of the company was storming around the office, angry that the salesman hadn't come in for the afternoon. After all, the funeral had been in the morning, so there was no need for him to be out all afternoon as well.

At that same company, I worked for three years without taking a sick day. Then, some minor achy-ness turned into Really Bad Pain one morning and I called in sick. Got the third degree from my boss, because I couldn't say what was wrong until I'd seen a doctor. I called in sick two more days, because of the raging kidney infection I had. My doctor was about to put me in the hospital, but the antibiotics finally took hold.

I arrived back at work after three days out, with a doctor's note. Got called into the owner's office and was told that I was lucky I still had a job--one more day off and they would have been searching for a new employee. This, despite the fact that we were told we had five sick days a year. I guess they only existed on paper.

[Lady Snowdon]

I called in sick to one of my jobs a few years ago and the manager insisted that, as far as she could tell, I was fine to come in, and besides, they really needed me.  I told her, No, I'm not coming in, really really sick.  Threw in some gross details to try and convince her.  Her response was, "Well, Holly (assistant manager) has thrown up three times already, but she's here!".  Sorry, others martyring themselves isn't going to make me do the same!  When I came in for my next shift there, I was given a written warning for a no show/no call.  I pointed out that I had called in, but was told since the manager didn't accept my excuse, it was considered a no show/no call.  I put in my two week notice shortly after that. 

[tinkytinky]

There seems to be a wide range of the amount of information different bosses want you to give. My previous boss said she didn't want details, just tell her that you were ill. Then she would try to guess why you were ill, by what was "going around". The day after I was ill and was back at work, everything on my desk was moved around, filed, thrown out, etc. When I asked where some of the items I had been working on were, I was told that because I was so sick the day before they had disinfected my desk/everything I had touched. Wow that was really nice of them, but I really don't think they were going to catch my migraine/menstral cramps. It took two days to find most of the stuff I was working on....

Now I tend to say something like "Migraine is so bad, I won't be in" or "Stomach bug that I don't want anyone else to catch". not TMI, but enough to know if it's contagious or just a personal demon.

As for your question, OP, I'd go with "hey, co-worker, I hope you are feeling better! you are? good! your description sounded like it was pretty rough! When I get the voicemails in the mornings, I give the messages to Big Boss. He/She never hears the details, so you can just say you are taking a sick day. If he/she needs more info, I'm sure they will contact you! Glad you are back!" just said with a conversation-like tone.

[Reader]

I've heard of bosses that can be skeptical/harass employees who call in sick with "are you REALLY sick?", asking for details (because if THEY don't think it's bad they'll bug the employee to come in) and stuff like that.  Sometimes grossing them out is the only way to get them to stop.

Other than that..."out sick" works for me.  I don't care if you're really sick or you just want to spend the day playing scrabble with your spouse.

I have such a boss.  The first time I ever called in, I got the "are you Really sick?" and have from then on had him try to convince me to come in and work while sick.  So now every time I don't want to argue with my boss I have to give all the gross details. Yuck.  Last time was when I contracted pink eye.  I made sure to get a doctor's note, and sure enough when I called my boss, he tried to talk me into coming in.  Then demanded I do, to send down some time sheets that had failed to go through the day before.  So I did for 10 minutes, faxed the sheets, copied my doctor's note and gave it to my boss.  Then went home, as I sure I did not want to pass it on to my fellow coworkers.

[jedikaiti]

I love my office. I call in sick and the response is "Feel better soon!". Sometimes a "thank you for keeping your germs to yourself" is tacked on for good measure.

[Outdoor Girl]

All my boss cares about is 'I'm not coming in today.'  If you are supposed to be on the phones, you need to make arrangements to trade your duty day with someone else but other than that?  Not coming in has no impact on my coworkers.

We get 6 sick days at full pay per year.  We don't get to bank them.  A lot of my coworkers have a 'use 'em or lose 'em' attitude and will phone in sick just because they don't feel like coming into work.  I have a hard time doing that but if I'm not feeling well, I don't suck it up and go in; I stay home!

After 6 days, we can still take sick time but it is at 2/3 pay.  Head office mandates that if you take more than a certain number of days a year (I think it is 8 or 9), your supervisor has to have a little discussion with you about your attendance.  Remind you that there is employee assistance available, if you need it.  They love having those little discussions with us.  NOT.

The only year I came close to hitting the 6 days was the year I got bronchitis.  I was off 5 days in February and not off again for the rest of the year.

[blarg314]

My office has an on-line system - you log into the web site, put in your sick day request, and it gets fired off into the system. That part's great - the part that isn't is the regulation from (I think) the government that if you're sick more than *one* day consecutively, you need a doctor's note, which is ridiculous.

We have national health insurance with no co-pay for a doctor's visit, and drop in clinics at hospitals are common, but it still adds a layer of inconvenience, particularly when the type of illness that would have you off for a couple of days but no more includes things like 48 hour stomach virus or a bad cold, which don't need a doctor's attention.

[cicero]

I love my office. I call in sick and the response is "Feel better soon!". Sometimes a "thank you for keeping your germs to yourself" is tacked on for good measure.

Mine too. Of course there are people who abuse the 'niceness' but for the most part this attitude works.

If I called in sick and my boss started demanding that I come in anyway, I would probably start jib hunting

[sweetonsno]

If it had been a one-time thing, I'd say that she was probably exhausted, stressed, and not thinking clearly. However, since it's a pattern, the previous posters are probably right… she came from a company where she had to "sell" her sickness in order to not get in trouble for taking a sick day. If that's the case, I like the idea of shooting her an email (or stopping by her desk when she gets back) to let her know that she just needs to let you know that she's out sick for the day. Assure her that you will call if you need any more information.

[LadyClaire]

I love my office. I call in sick and the response is "Feel better soon!". Sometimes a "thank you for keeping your germs to yourself" is tacked on for good measure.

My office is like that. My boss is particularly nice. She has sent me home before because I was so tired/stressed and she thought a day of rest would be better than being at the office and not feeling well.

I actually came with the office when she was hired. My department had been without a boss for nearly a year. The day before she started, I came down with awful food poisoning. So my first interaction with her was to have to call in sick and I was out for two days. She was completely understanding. She has also always been understanding when I've had to take days off due to my mother being ill.

[NyaChan]

At my new place, we were specifically instructed not to share details, both to avoid the answering managers having to know more than they wanted, and also so that they don't have to discipline people who accidentally let slip that they aren't sick.  Hence, "Please, please, please, when you call this number to let us know you aren't coming in, just say 'I'm taking a sick day.' That's all - I'll tell you know that I hope you all get better quickly when you are sick and I hope it will never be anything too serious, but I don't want to know more!"

[Raintree]

Somebody going into too much detail, makes me wonder if they are lying.

Or, as others have pointed out, they may have worked at a place before where everything they said was doubted and questioned.

[Jocelyn]

Hi All,

 Most people leave call-in messages that go something like "I'm not feeling well and will be staying home today" or "I'm staying home with my sick kid." Occasionally they leave a little more detail like "Feels like I'm coming down with the flu" or "The allergies are acting up again" or something similar. All fine. However, there is one co-worker who always gives way, way too much information. Like "I was up until 1:00 vomiting and then I got <unpleasant intestinal symptom> and had to stay in the bathroom all night. I've managed to keep some juice down, but it feels like the vomiting might start up again. I also might have a fever. I've been chilly and sweaty all night and my stomach hurts. I'll stay home so I can be close to the bathroom...." etc, etc, on and on and on. Please note that this was a sanitized version of co-worker's typical message. Some of her messages have been so detailed and so graphic that I feel the need to take a shower and two aspirin after listening.

The thing that's funny (sort of) is that boss doesn't really care why people call in sick. She doesn't get upset about people calling in and would never question someone about whether they needed to stay home. Some people actually say they're "taking a mental health day" or "catching up on sleep" or something, and it's fine.

My question is, how do I politely and professionally communicate to co-worker that I do not need or want this much information in her call-in messages? I'm really at a loss here....

I've had bosses call me and tell me to get in to work, even after I've called in. It was always a matter who who left the most disgusting details on the call-in as to who actually got to use the sick leave. If you had a cold, and someone else has diarrhea, you were called in. If you had diarrhea and someone else was vomiting, you got called in. The only way you got to have your sick day was if no one else called in with worse symptoms. And yes, these are bosses in the health care profession. I've been told that a sniffling nurse is better than no nurse. It was OK if you gave your flu or intestinal virus to the patients while you were answering call lights- just so long as call lights got answered.
So it will probably take your co-worker a little time to actually believe that on THIS job, it's OK to stay home if you're sick. I have to admit, that even when I know I'm too sick to do my job, my first thought is still whether I will get in trouble for not coming in.