Author Topic: When people mock your laugh...  (Read 7333 times)

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EMuir

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Re: When people mock your laugh...
« Reply #15 on: July 30, 2013, 12:21:26 PM »
People who would mock you deserve the chilly glare, or perhaps you could laugh even harder at them being annoyed. :)

I have a friend who has a distinctive laugh, but as her friends we all just smile and aren't annoyed.  We can find her in a dark theatre. :)

We even have a neighbour who we've never met but whose laugh we have heard at night, we affectionately call him "Hyena Boy" but would never say anything to his face! I mean, it's the sound of someone enjoying themselves!

I tend to catch myself if my laugh sounds odd and comment on own own laugh, like "Wow, that was just like the Doctor from the Simpsons!" 


ettiquit

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Re: When people mock your laugh...
« Reply #16 on: July 30, 2013, 01:16:24 PM »
I have a ridiculous laugh.  So does my mom.  When her laugh is particularly ridiculous, I mock her.  Then we both laugh...ridiculously. But obviously that's all in good fun.

Honestly, if someone were to do that to me in a mean way, I'd probably walk over to them and laugh even louder.

poundcake

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Re: When people mock your laugh...
« Reply #17 on: July 30, 2013, 01:54:32 PM »
This seems like another opportunity to use my version of an eHell phrase: "Why would you do that?"

MM: *laughs*
Other Person: *unkindly mocks*
MM: Excuse me? Why would you do that?
OP: "Do what?"
MM: Make fun of the way I'm laughing?
OP: Can't you take a joke? Don't be so oversensitive.
MM: But you were deliberately mocking the way I laugh. Why would you do that?
OP: Well, you have a really weird/loud laugh.
MM: Okay, but why would you make fun of the way someone laughs?
OP: Your laugh is weird!
MM: But I don't understand why you would do that, make fun of the way someone laughs? Why would you do that?

As someone else with a, shall we say, less than dainty laugh, I've been mocked as well. An ex used to make fun of me when I laughed, and do this ridiculous sing-song of "Cackle cackle cackle!" It really hurt after a while. I wasn't being deliberately obnoxious, I was just being happy and laughing about something! It's a joy now to be with someone who, the other night said to me: "I love your laugh. It's like a jalopy starting up. It makes me happy to hear it."

Outdoor Girl

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Re: When people mock your laugh...
« Reply #18 on: July 30, 2013, 01:56:38 PM »
I have only the second best laugh in the office.  There is one other woman that when she gets going, you can hear it throughout the office.  It never fails to make most of the rest of us smile.  I'm very lucky to work in the office I do - it's pretty casual.
I have CDO.  It is like OCD but with the letters in alphabetical order, as they should be.
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Piratelvr1121

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Re: When people mock your laugh...
« Reply #19 on: July 30, 2013, 02:06:20 PM »
I feel your pain.  No one's mocked my laugh in a long time, thankfully, but it happened a lot as I was growing up, enough so that when someone told me "You have a great laugh, Pirate!" when I was in college, I was surprised. 

Going through public school, I was often told I laughed like a *nasty word that starts with R* and even my parents would draw attention to the way I laughed.  And it wasn't that it was loud and cackley because my mother had a loud cackle of a laugh that you could hear from across a store. 

And then one day I laughed and realized I laugh like my paternal grandmother did, which is okay with me cause I loved her laugh. 
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars.  You have a right to be here. Be cheerful, strive to be happy. -Desiderata

JeanFromBNA

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Re: When people mock your laugh...
« Reply #20 on: July 30, 2013, 03:52:57 PM »
This seems like another opportunity to use my version of an eHell phrase: "Why would you do that?"

MM: *laughs*
Other Person: *unkindly mocks*
MM: Excuse me? Why would you do that?
OP: "Do what?"
MM: Make fun of the way I'm laughing?
OP: Can't you take a joke? Don't be so oversensitive.
MM: But you were deliberately mocking the way I laugh. Why would you do that?
OP: Well, you have a really weird/loud laugh.
MM: Okay, but why would you make fun of the way someone laughs?
OP: Your laugh is weird!
MM: But I don't understand why you would do that, make fun of the way someone laughs? Why would you do that?

This.  Put the spotlight on them.  Trust me, they won't like it, and are unlikely to repeat it.

Or just keep laughing and give them a puzzled look.  DH has a loud, raucous laugh when he is highly amused.  When called on it, he replies, "That's some funny (stuff)!" and keeps laughing.  Who says they get to judge why and how you laugh?

CreteGirl

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Re: When people mock your laugh...
« Reply #21 on: July 30, 2013, 04:11:24 PM »
Sometimes I feel like people are too quick to smooth things over for the sake of others, and thus other people don't realize when they've hurt our feelings. Sometimes it can be good to let that hurt show for a moment.


I agree.  Even though it may ruin the moment, I think something deserves to be said.

I am amazed at how rude people are willing to be.  Some do it so often and get away with it, that they no longer recognize it as being wrong.  Sorry they are stealing your joy.

Cami

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Re: When people mock your laugh...
« Reply #22 on: July 30, 2013, 04:13:06 PM »
I've had people mock the way I sneeze or tell me to change the way I sneeze. I usually respond, "When you naturally change your eye color, let me know how you did it and I'll work on my sneeze."

Goosey

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Re: When people mock your laugh...
« Reply #23 on: July 30, 2013, 04:14:05 PM »
Does saying these things actually work in real life?

I mean, in this scenario - if people are actively mocking someone within their earshot, would that someone turning and acknowledging they had heard really cause people to suddenly realize the error of their ways and become ashamed?

They know you can hear - asking them why they are being rude is more likely to escalate the mocking in my experience.

Lynn2000

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Re: When people mock your laugh...
« Reply #24 on: July 30, 2013, 04:44:03 PM »
Does saying these things actually work in real life?

I mean, in this scenario - if people are actively mocking someone within their earshot, would that someone turning and acknowledging they had heard really cause people to suddenly realize the error of their ways and become ashamed?

They know you can hear - asking them why they are being rude is more likely to escalate the mocking in my experience.

I think it depends on the person. If someone is mocking another person just to be a cruel bully and hurt them, sometimes acting like it doesn't hurt at all is the best way to deal with it--carry on and laugh like you want, don't give them the satisfaction of seeing that they can affect you.

But, I think the vast majority of people, especially when they don't know the other person well, are just thoughtless. They don't realize that they're being hurtful, or how hurtful they're being. And as I said before, I think we're often encouraged to smooth things over and not let the other person feel uncomfortable, even if they deserve to, or to suck up our own discomfort to avoid giving the rest of the group an awkward moment. Sometimes, being called out on their poor behavior is the only way people will realize they are behaving poorly. I think a lot of them think they're going to get away with it, because they always have, and when someone doesn't let them, I think they often are ashamed--not necessarily a life-changing moment, but at least maybe they'll hold their tongue in the future.

I do agree with your last line--saying something direct like, "You're being rude when you do that," is too confrontational for me personally. I would be more likely to look startled and let awkward silence descend on the conversation, with everyone knowing it was the insulter who killed it. Maybe that's a bit subtle, I don't know.
~Lynn2000

Mental Magpie

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Re: When people mock your laugh...
« Reply #25 on: July 30, 2013, 06:21:46 PM »
One person in particular I believe does it to make himself feel better.  I once said I had heard a funny joke the day before and then told the joke.  He said, "You must have been tired if you thought that was funny."  I shrugged like it didn't bother me (and really it didn't; I don't gauge myself worth by how he behaves) and just noted that he sure could be rude.
The problem with choosing the lesser of two evils is that you're still choosing evil.

snowdragon

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Re: When people mock your laugh...
« Reply #26 on: July 30, 2013, 08:53:18 PM »



I'm amazed to hear that people mock your laugh
.  Just as an accent is an accent, a laugh is a laugh. You can't help the way you sound. 

Don't jump to their bait.  Just keep laughing.

Don't be. A slightly different scenario but, in one of my classes last semester, we had to record videos with ourselves teaching something. My speaking voice was roundly mocked for weeks.  I finally looked at the biggest offender and said "I am sorry that 13 years of speech therapy did not make my voice acceptable to you." I walked off to col my temper, when I got back, I was told how "rude and unprofessional"  I had been. 

  My classmates we all either teachers or museum educators.

I will be watching this thread because I have no idea how to handle these types of folks gracefully.

Mental Magpie

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Re: When people mock your laugh...
« Reply #27 on: July 30, 2013, 09:01:40 PM »



I'm amazed to hear that people mock your laugh
.  Just as an accent is an accent, a laugh is a laugh. You can't help the way you sound. 

Don't jump to their bait.  Just keep laughing.

Don't be. A slightly different scenario but, in one of my classes last semester, we had to record videos with ourselves teaching something. My speaking voice was roundly mocked for weeks.  I finally looked at the biggest offender and said "I am sorry that 13 years of speech therapy did not make my voice acceptable to you." I walked off to col my temper, when I got back, I was told how "rude and unprofessional"  I had been. 

  My classmates we all either teachers or museum educators.

I will be watching this thread because I have no idea how to handle these types of folks gracefully.

I don't think you were either rude or unprofessional.  I think they were embarrassed for not having stood up for you and thus made it all your fault instead of properly feeling their own guilt.
The problem with choosing the lesser of two evils is that you're still choosing evil.

Bratski

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Re: When people mock your laugh...
« Reply #28 on: July 31, 2013, 12:42:40 AM »
I've had people mock my laugh as well. I sound a lot like Roseann Barr when I get going.

I got teased a lot growing up so for a long while I never laughed at all. I would still find things funny but I would just smile instead.

DH and the kids love my laugh and it gets them laughing even more. I was never able to figure out what to say to the mean people back then.

I'm sorry you are dealing with this, some people are just cruel and/or thoughtless.

Isilleke

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Re: When people mock your laugh...
« Reply #29 on: July 31, 2013, 06:19:12 AM »
I would also go for asking why they would say something like that or just ignoring them.

Unfortunately, when I was still little my sister was always telling me how fake my laugh sounded and since I was so embarrassed, I learned to laugh without sound. I still feel weird about it, about 20 years later! I can't even laugh normal anymore.